I started working in the music industry at the age of 14, managing a friend's band. I got 'em as far as Donnington (back before it became shit) and then we parted ways as some London wanker took them on...
My fun adventures occurred a little later in my career, though...
I was working for one particular musician (had been for quite a while) when he invited me to an event in London. I arrived in the city the afternoon before the gig and called him but his phone was off. I left a voicemail and then went shopping with my friend who was travelling with me.
Heard nothing from him so we went out to dinner and then retired to our hotel room to get some rest.
8am the following morning... I am up and showered, straightening my hair, etc, while my friend fannies about, not doing too much.
My phone rings.
It is my elderly mother.
"Your **** just called. We had a nice little chat"
(Oh shit) "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, he has a new mobile number as he lost his old phone in Sweden. He wants you to call him. Then he is going to call me back"
"...why?"
"Well he said he has been watching pornography all night and wants to chat with an older lady as he misses his mother"
"DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!!"
I call him and he tells me what hotel he is staying at. I jump on the tube and head over to meet him.
He answers his hotel room door in a hat and a shirt and nothing else.
I take a seat and help myself to water from the mini bar. He proceeds to tell me about the girl he met the previous day, even showing me photos of her. She is supposed to look like some celebrity but she just looks fat and plain to me. What would I know though...
There is a bad 80s porno flick playing on the TV and the Sun spread of a topless Charlotte Church is on the table.
"You keep the fuck away from my mother"
"OK. I'm gonna take a bath. Wanna watch me?"
"No"
"Please"
"No"
"OK. I'll only be a while"
He jumps in the bath while I sit on the bed and talk through the door to him.
"Come on in. I need some company"
"No. I don't wanna see you naked"
"The water's deep"
"Don't care"
We talk about a side project he is putting together and the set-list his band will play. He also asks for a list of things I bought the day before (he was desperate for me to say "12" dildo" but I did not...).
Out of the bath and wearing only a towel (and his hat; balding, you see), he asks me for a massage. I kinda thought that was a reasonable compromise so I give him a massage while we make small talk.
He is already on the booze at 10am. At least he wasn't snorting crap in front of me, unlike usual.
After we chat a little more, he says I have to leave as he needs to sleep. I am happy to escape. At the door, he makes an incredibly clumsy attempt to kiss me. I pat him on the head (short arse) and leave...
And the funny thing? None of this seemed strange at the time...
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