Possibly the worst ebay seller ever?

This was a strange one. I ordered some OPI nail polish from ebay and selected someone who looked to be a reputable seller; they had over 67,000 positive feedbacks...

So I paid for the item as soon as I bought it and then received this email...

Dear irezumi_muzan,


PLEASE READ ALL THIS IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR E-BAY PURCHASE


YOU HAVE ORDERED THE FOLLOWING ITEM/S

310295071418,
OPI KATY PERRY BLACK SHATTER NAIL LACQUER,
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=310295071418

IF YOU ARE NOT PAYING BY PAYPAL STRAIGHT AWAY PLEASE LET US KNOW.
YOU HAVE 4 DAYS TO PAY FOR THIS ORDER


WE HAVE YOUR ADDRESS AS

*****



IF THIS IS INCORRECT PLEASE CALL US (DONT EMAIL) 07515 563834
OR TEXT US ON 07515 563834



Thank you for shopping with us. We really appreciate your business.

Your item will be packed and shipped within the next two working days.
We will email you when your item has been dispatched.
Typical delivery times vary, but a rough guide from DISPATCH is:-
UK 3 to 7 days
Europe 5 to 12 days
US/Canada/Australia 10 to 20 days

Please wait until at least these times have elapsed before becoming concerned
about missing items.
99.9% of all mail gets delivered.

If your item has not been recieved after the above time has passed, please
do the following before contacting us:-

1. Check with your local sorting office as they may be there awaitng collection.
Postmen are supposed to leave an "unable to deliver" card but sometimes they
forget, ours does!

2. Postmen sometimes leave packages in outbuildings, sheds, garages, recyling
bins, etc. Please check these places.

3. Postmen sometimes leave packages with neighbours, they then somtimes forget
to bring them round. If you think this could have happened, please check
with your neighbours.

4. If you have done all of the above and there is still no sign of your item,
please get in contact with us ON 0800 917 0021 (DO NOT EMAIL AS WE GET THOUSANDS
OF EMAILS EVERY DAY AND COULD NOT POSSIBLY READ THEM ALL). We will do our
best to get it sorted out for
you.
We may ask you to sign a missing item form which we will pass on to the Royal
Mail, or in some cases the Police.


IMPORTANT NOTES ABOUT FEEDBACK

1. We have left positive feedback for you. When you leave feeback for us,
please consider the following points below.

2. P&P charges do not only cover the postage costs. They include the cost
of packaging (padded envelopes, bubble wrap, documents enclosed wallets,
stationery, printing, etc). They also include wages, petrol, parking charges,
etc.

3. Please consider very carefully before leaving low detailed seller ratings
(DSR Star ratings of 1 or 2).
Ebay's seller fees can be increased dramatically by just a tiny percentage
of low scores.
This eBay policy will inevitably force sellers to pass these increased charges
on to buyers, so low scores are in no ones interest.

4. Please contact us if you are not totally satisfied with any aspect of
the transaction.
Leaving Neutral or Negative feedback without allowing us to rectify any issues
that you may have will be considerd to be unfair.
Unfair feedback will be dealt with accordingly.

5. Any buyer who leaves unfair feedback will be added to a blocked bidders
list and will be unable to shop with us again.
There are also independant internet blacklists for buyers who leave unfair
feedback. These enable other sellers to be aware of problem buyers.

Thank you for taking the time to read this e-mail.

CLAIRE AND ROY

It was the last point that intrigues me. So before the transaction had even been completed, the seller was threatening me as a buyer?!! It is sellers like this that are ruining ebay for the rest of us. What a waste of space. I will not be buying from tops-hair-salon EVER again. And you all know how much I love my OPI... Bad business practice, there...

Oh and FYI, postage does NOT include "wages, petrol, parking charges, etc". Ebay's own rules state that P&P covers just that - postage and packaging costs.

A day in the life of spam

I have several email accounts set up. One purely for emails from here, one for online purchases, one for mailing lists, one for harassing people... and my main one where I email friends and have select items forwarded to.

Yesterday, I made a conscious decision to not clear out my spam folder just to show what my main (private) account receives in a 24 hour period. Interesting stuff....

From: Silas Bouchard

V C L
I I E
G A V
R L I
A I T
S R
A

$1.29/pill $1.58/pill $2.81/pill

+ many other positions!

Visit Us at:
h t t p : / / d r g z o n e . c o m [delete spaces before visiting]

It was laid out that badly in the original email too

From: Ismael Stone

V C L
I I E
G A V
R L I
A I T
S R
A

$1.29/pill $1.58/pill $2.81/pill

+ many other positions!

Visit Us at:
h t t p : / / d r g z o n e . c o m [delete spaces before visiting]

Ditto

From: joyce kipkalya

Hello, I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust and humanity, i appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter i feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business having gone through your remarkable profile, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my situation, My name is Miss Joyce Kipkalya, 24yrs old female and I’m from Kenya in East Africa. My father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Laboso had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya. The plane crashed on the Tuesday 10th, June, 2008. You can read more about the crash through the below site: http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/06/10/kenya.crash/index.html After the burial of my father, my step-Mother and uncle conspired and sold my father's property to an Italian Expertrate which the shared the money among themselves and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money for a better life so that I can take care of myself and start a new life, on my arrival, the Bank Director whom I met in person told me that my father's instruction in his will to the bank was that the money would only be release to me when I present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas. I am in search of an honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him to the Bank for transfer of the money to his/her bank account overseas. I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you may be the true person to help me. Moreover, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my step-Mothers have threatened to assassinate me. The amount is($5.8USD) Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso on my arrival, You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country. However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention to compensate you with 30% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to your self for now until the bank will transfer the fund. I beg you not to disclose it until i come over because I am afraid of my wicked step-mother who has threatened to kill me and have the money alone ,I thank God Today that am out from my country (Kenya) but now In (Burkina Faso) where my father deposited these money with my name as the next of Kin. I have the documents for the claim. Thanks God bless you Joyce Kipkalya In all honesty, is ANYONE stupid enough to fall for this type of scam? If so,m they deserve to lose all their money. Dear NatWest Customer, Natwest safeguards your account when there is a possibility that someone other than you is signing on. Sign In Here To Safeguard Your Account This web site is operated by NatWest Personal Banking © NatWest Personal Banking United Kingdom 2011 Never banked with Natwest in my whole entire life Dear valued customer, In our terms and conditions you have agreed to state that your account must always be under your control or those you designate at all times. we have noticed some activity related to your account that indicates that other parties may have tried gaining access or control of your information to your account. Therefore, to prevent unauthorized access to your cahoot internet banking , you are limited to five failed log in attempts in a 24-hour period. you have exceeded this number of attempts.* Please follow the link and reset your password and memorable information then follow the on-screen instructions. https://securebank.cahoot.com/ servlet/com.aquariussecurity. bks.security.authentication. servlet.LoginEntryServletBKS If you require any further assistance please call us on 0844 9000900 and press '0' to speak to someone who'll be able to help you. Kind Regards, Steve Sanders cahoot is a division of Santander UK plc. Registered Office: 2 Triton Square, Regent’s Place, London NW1 3AN, United Kingdom. Registered Number 2294747. Registered in England. Telephone 0870 607 6000 calls may be recorded or monitored. Authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority except in respect of its consumer credit products for which Santander UK plc is licensed and regulated by the Office of Fair Trading. FSA registration number 106054. Santander UK plc advises on mortgages, a limited range of life assurance, pension and collective investment scheme products and acts as an insurance intermediary for general insurance. Never banked with Cahoot either. I do, however, get the same scam emails claiming to be from HSBC and Chase who I do actually bank with...

An average evening at Cardiff Central

Last night, I was catching the 17:12 Cardiff to Cheltenham Spa train; first stop Newport.

I have to run from my office in order to catch it but it is slightly less busy than the next train so worth it (though I do stand the whole journey because, of course, peoples' bags have PAID FOR FUCKING SEATS!!!).

So last night (Thursday, 17 February 2011), I jump on the train and find myself a corner where I can tweet abuse about my fellow passengers.

I am minding my own business when there is an announcement that there is a problem with the train so there will be a delay. I decide to try to catch the next so cross platforms but the other train is packed so I return to the first.

OK. Another announcement and all the people for Newport jump off and get on the next one. I remain where I am. I could see some people motioning to further down the platform so I stick my head out and there is an unconscious woman on the floor. She is laying on her side but is unattended. I jump out and walk towards her, only to be stopped by an older bald man in an Arriva Trains Wales uniform.

Me: "Has anyone called an ambulance?"

Him: "She doesn't need an ambulance; she's drunk"

Me: "She looks very unwell, I'll go sit with her til she feels better"

Him: "Don't get involved; get back on the train now"

I get back on the train but hang out the door so I can keep an eye on her.

No one else was allowed to approach her either.

Then he yells to the train conductor (Nigel, bald, weighs 26 stone if he weighs a pound...) "She's fucking drunk! Stupid cunt. I want her out of my fucking station. She can die in the fucking street. Bitch".

Incidentally, he was looking at me when he said the last bit...

I could have taken him.

Nigel then shouted "I want that fucking shit off my train!"

Me... well... I swear. I work in customer services. I would NEVER swear in front of customers, no matter how badly they behave towards me. That's just common sense.

I am not one of those people who reacts to swearing (read my twitter feed!) but I expect a level of professionalism. If I had had the kids with me, those two would have been picking their teeth out of their shit for a week.

So they then shut the train doors and I see first bald bloke (I tried to get his name but he had his badge covered... wonder why...) physically dragging this woman off the platform towards the exit.

WHAT THE FUCK?!!

OK, she may have been drunk, OK that may be the reason she threw up and collapsed.

BUT!

She could have been having a heart attack, she could have food poisoning, any number of things.

When my FMF comes on, it comes on so fast that it can hit me like that. I can be fine one minute and unable to move the next.

What if some ignorant little fucker from Arriva gets rough with me?

They get sued, that's what.

I was going to make a formal complaint but when I got back to Newport, I asked for a complaint form and was told to go online. After thinking about it, I realised I would only get a standard response ("We have internal disciplinary procedures we cannot discuss, ie, nothing") so FUCK THEM. I'm going public YET AGAIN about their appalling behaviour.

If I EVER see any behaviour like this again, I will call the police and make a scene like no other EVER witnessed at Cardiff Central.

Morons.

Truly happy :)

So yeah, I keep saying I will post something positive and then have not been able to think of anything but I am so incredibly happy for the first time in ages.

I love my new role at work. Doing my old job tomorrow and then permanently moving on. Amazing.

Other things make me happy though...

Cuddling Gino at 3am. He's just so soft and nice!

Walking around the house naked.

Fitting into clothes that have not fit me properly for the last 2 years.

Not feeling sluggish any more.

Going running with Gino.

Seeing my debts shrink.

Curling up on the settee under my slanket and watching crappy TV.

Getting my uni work done in advance.

Getting my life back on track.

Singing loudly in the shower...

All in all, things are going very well right now.

I guess everything works out OK in the end...

I was so on the edge at work. I could not take it any more. I don't get on with my manager and she was making life very difficult for me, to the point where I felt I had no choice but to resign. Well... I have been applying for other jobs and was considering my next move when I was called yesterday and informed that I have now been promoted and will be moving to a different department from tomorrow. So... no more stress! This is the department I have been trying to move to for the last 3 years so I am very happy. Even if I only do 6 months before I move on, it is better than nothing.

I will be working 9 - 5, Monday to Friday. I haven't worked regular shifts for years so this works well for me. I will be almost human again...

Hell, I might even resuscitate my social life!

You never know...

In other news... I just submitted my complaint against MBNA to the financial ombudsman for what they did to me last month (please see previous post). Have also submitted a complaint to Otello against O2 for the way they handled my broken Dell Streak issue and sent off a complaint to HSBC about the way they responded to the MBNA bullshit.

About to go apeshit on Parcelforce. I don't pay £80 for guaranteed next day delivery for them to not bother sending the parcel...

Submitted an essay this morning. Walked the dog, had a shower, done a housework blast...

Now settling down to do a bit more uni reading.

Productive day, all in all.

Yet another dodgy job offer

This one wasn't even sent to me!

from Judith Henry reply-to Susan.Milam@elt-job.com to fiona.wright@bbc.co.uk date Wed, Feb 9, 2011 at 6:45 AM subject Job opportunity : id / 1297234184.. mailed-by yahoo.com signed-by yahoo.com

hide details Feb 9 (1 day ago)

Good day,

We have looked through your profile on Totaljobs and would like to consider you for the job of administrative assistant/sales support. You will work at the convenience of your home at your free time.

ELT, a luxury goods corporation, presents great off-season luxury finds from the most high-status international designers and collectibles from the rarest collections at irresistible prices.

Candidates for the job should have outstanding organizational skills as well as the ability to productively multi-task. Best candidates have a firm focus on day-to-day operational excellence, and a individual style that builds trustworthiness, and gains reliability. The candidate have to be motivated, practical, be able to learn and adapt in short time.


Other functions of the Administrative Assistant/Sales Support contain, but are not limited to:

• Incorporating effective priorities for the virtual office job
• Manage usual financial tasks for clients
• Reporting online daily
• Preparing brief summary reports, and weekly financial reports

Salary part-time: 1,800GBP/month, plus commission.

If you have any questions please contact us via email or by fax +1-323-843-9625

All the best,
Susan Milam
ELT Team

Snakes & Arrows

I am sure this will make me unpopular with the elite but Snakes & Arrows is my all time favourite Rush album. I do love all the others, of course, but not every single track like I do with this one. Snakes & Arrows is probably one of my top played albums of all time. And yes I still say album instead of CD or mp3 collective...

What am amazing opener! I am always a little bit "nervous" about a new Rush album because you never quite know what direction they will be heading in. Rush are unusual for me in that they are one of the "old" bands I like from when I was a teenager who are still going. Most of the others I liked have either disbanded or died or both. That means that we have the fear of Rush putting out some utter shite (incredibly unlikely, I know) like some other bands have done as they have got older.

But fuck all that as soon as I heard "Far Cry". I just love it. This is one of my most-played tracks from the album. They played it as the opener of the second half of the show on the Snakes & Arrows tour and I was literally blown away (and Geddy would have been too if I could have got past security...). It is such a strong track and along the slightly heavier lines of what I like.

Classic line -

One day I feel I'm ahead of the wheel

And the next it's rolling over me

Love it.

"Armor and Sword" does not get as much play as the opener. It is a very emotive song for me so I tend to have to really be in the mood for it. It has kind of an anti-religion slant to it (I guess that was the original intention) and being part of a generation that has witnessed so much killing in the name of a God of choice, I find it very easy to relate to.

Confused alarms of struggle and flight

Blood is drained of colour

By the flashes of artillery light

No one gets to their heaven without a fight

The battle flags are flown

At the feet of a god unknown

No one gets to their heaven without a fight

Now "Workin' Them Angels" gets us back on track! This one is a very "Neil Peart" one, if you get what I mean. It totally reminds me of his books, more than likely due to the association with movement which is a major theme in his works. Hell, he even mentions two of his books!

Turn up the music and smile

...

Memory drumming at the heart of an English winter

Memories beating at the heart of an African village

Again, this one probably gets a little less play than the other songs. Not because I don't like it; it is just another one of those "mood" songs... I am currently studying British social policy in relation to crime and the underclass. Gonna see if I can squeeze in a few of the lyrics as a source in my next essay and get away with it...

I absolutely adore the video sequence in the live show for this one, by the way.

"Spindrift". Isn't in my top three but I do still play it. It doesn't draw me in like the other tracks, I'm afraid. More of a background song for me... Geddy does sound amazing on this one, though.

Now we're getting into it! I have always loved Rush instrumentals and "The Main Monkey Business" is no exception. I even love the story behind it...

"The Way The Wind Blows" is another religion-related one. I completely agree with the sentiment...

Now it's come to this

Wide-eyed armies of the faithful

From the Middle East to the Middle West

Pray, and pass the ammunition

"Hope" makes me want to dance... go figure...

"Faithless" is a great one. This is a hopeful song, as far as I am concerned.

Like a stone in the river

Against the floods of spring

I will quietly resist

...

I don't have faith in faith

I don't believe in belief

You can call me faithless

I still cling to hope

And I believe in love

And that's faith enough for me

"Bravest Face" is way up there as one of my favourite tracks of all time. It is incredibly well put together and features some of the best lines I have heard recently (and yes, I do happen to listen to Ke$ha when I am bored...).

In the softest voice there's an acid tongue

In the oldest eyes there's a soul so young

In the shakiest will there's a core of steel

On the smoothest ride there's a squeaky wheel

"Good News First" Gets quite a bit of play time. Reminds me of Los Angeles. Not sure why... Maybe because my ex out there was a manipulative piece of crap sometimes. Or it could be because I sat on Santa Monica pier listening to this one on a loop while Kay burnt her skin the fuck off down on the beach... I guess we'll never know...

You used to feel that way

The saddest words you'll ever say

But I know you'll remember that day

And the most beautiful words I could ever say

My song! Yes, this is the track I named the blog after. Why? Because I could. And I do display the symptoms of a malignant narcissist at times...

I adore this one. Geddy's voice is just perfect with the ending reminding me of earlier Rush. What I always find strange is the fact that these are not Geddy's lyrics. He and Neil are so in sync that Ged can sing Neil's words and make them truly sound like his own.

This is my little inspiration song for when I am having a shit day at work; I am doing it for a reason and just have to focus on the bigger picture... Don't give up.

How many times

Do we chafe against the repetition

Straining against the faith

Measured out in coffee breaks

...

How many times

Do we wonder if it's even worth it

There's got to be some other way

Way to get me through the day

So there you have it. My thoughts on my favourite Rush album. Thanks for sticking with me this long!

30 before 30

This is something I have been reading about recently so I thought I would work out if I had done 30 major things before my 30th birthday (I only have a few weeks left so can't really knock out anything too monumental)...

I have...

moved to Los Angeles

earned a Masters degree

had sex with a famous musician

gone bar-hopping in Germany

got engaged

got a tattoo

woken up naked on the beach

written a book

gone vegan

learned to speak a foreign language fluently

appeared on TV

punched more than 5 people

had an affair with someone I met on the internet

lived in France

fallen in love

danced the tango in a summer rain shower

caused a friend to almost sever some guy's penis

hugged a porn star

sung in a band

written a poem

had my heart broken

broken someone's heart

jumped on a plane to a random city on a whim

caused a friend to almost kill herself

been stalked

thrown red paint on fur-wearers

lived in a tree to protest road building

broken a bone

danced on amateur night in a bikini bar

written a screenplay

So not too bad, then. It's not like I have wasted the last 30 years...

Another fucked up "job offer"

Good day,

We are glad to inform you that after examine your resume we came to the conclusion that you are qualified much for this position: "Financial Assistant".

Financial Assistant takes part in Commercial interactions between potential customers and our company. The job is related to remote Internet operations. Every payment order will be accompanied by detailed instruction. It is also the duty to interact and report all the details of every action you take to our manager. The brief training course is enclosed. To be successful in this role, you will need to be an energetic and flexible person with strong computing skills.

Your main duties will be to communicate with clients over the telephone or through the Internet, to conduct the reports, to fulfill our tasks following our instructions, to work with business forms on your own, to conclude agreements with our potential clients, to receive payments from potential customers. You will be able to get new information from our " Project Manager ", contact your head office and to check the report on the earnings. You will get monthly salary for your work; your salary will be divided into two parts and bonuses from each transaction depending on the amount of the deal.


My name is Amanda Davidson. I will be your instructor for a month before you will obtain enough skills for independent work.
To start working you need to complete the following steps:
1. Please download the attached contract, make sure that everything is clear in it.
2. Fill out all the required fields in print letters.
3. Send it to our UK fax number '+44 (0)808 280 0064'
Attached is a PDF version of your contract. If you do not already have Adobe PDF Reader installed please go to www.adobe.com to install it..

We'll process your contract and get in touch with you in 1-3 business days.

Address:
ING Funds Distributor, LLC
www.ingfunds.com
Amstelveenseweg 542
1032 KL Amsterdam, Nederland
Tel: +31 32 342 2362
Fax: + 31 43 274 3627

Well Holy Hell...

I'm growing tits!

Yup! Just 6 weeks shy of my 30th birthday, I have finally started popping out some hooters!

Talk about late developer...

I have been flat chested my whole life. It did bother me slightly when I was in my early 20s when I first moved to LA (all about image, you see). I used to wear those hideous aqua bras and I remember vividly the sigh of disappointment emitting from my lovers the first time I got naked in front of them... I considered having a boob job for years and only went off the idea in the last 6 months or so. Luckily, I got over the idea of having my beautiful Jewish nose "corrected" long ago...

In the last few years, though, I have come to accept me as me and aside from getting my teeth fixed (and I may change my mind on that too), I am happy as I am.

But BLOODY HELL! These knockers!

I was in the bathroom earlier, preparing my weekly mud mask. I had already whipped my t shirt off because I don't like splashing raw green clay all over it when I happened to catch a look at myself in the mirror. I have gone from literally nothing to a B-cup. And this has been in like a week or so as I did not notice anything during last week's mask.

My sisters are both double-Ds so I do hope I don't end up that big but I am pretty happy with the way things are going.

But I will have to start wearing a bra now and that kinda sucks...

In possibly not-unrelated news, the raw kick is going so well that I have dropped a clear clothes size (maybe even two). That is also a bit of a kicker as I had this beautiful vest that I bought last Autumn ready for the summer. It had British wildlife on it with loads of glitter and studs and shit. I am sitting here in it now and I have had to tie it to myself so the neighbour's kids don't get a flash of something through the front window...

Time to go clothes shopping, then...

Gary Moore

Another hero gone.

Victor

Of all the Rush solo stuff, Alex Lifeson's Victor is my absolute favourite. I listen to the other stuff but have only a passing interest in My Favourite Headache (I don't find it very accessible) and I have to seriously be in the mood to listen to the Buddy Rich tribute stuff.

I picked up my copy of Victor in an independent music store in Birmingham when it was first released. It set my back about £19 which was a lot of money for a school kid back then... I played it a bit when I first got it but it was one of my "occasional" CDs.

Then Cozy Powell died.

That was the first time I had lost a hero and it was very difficult for me to listen to any music that reminded me of him. Consider that most of my music collection was Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Brian May, etc. So I started playing Victor more often. Now, of course, "I Am the Spirit" reminds me of Coze but that is a positive thing.

I just love Victor. I tend to play the same few tracks over and over but I go through phases as to which those few tracks are.

My favourite track is "Start Today". In fact, that is one of my favourite tracks of all time. I only recently found out it was sung by a woman (Dalbello) and always assumed it was a man singing about his unreasonable lover... It contains the best lyrics ever -

Clear your mind of those things gone by

You can't change the past; why even try?

Look ahead to those better days

Make the effort, it always pays

You can build upon all you've learned

You can start today

As someone who used to dwell on the past a lot, these are indeed wise words to live by...

"Strip and Go Naked" is an amazing instrumental, rather like something you would expect Rush to produce. People have described it as the starting point of "The Main Monkey Business" but I am not so sure myself... It is the track I can listen to while I get ready for work in the morning without too many distractions.

I always liked "Shut Up Shuttin' Up". I mean, who doesn't like to listen to women bitch and moan about their husbands?

"The Big Dance". Ah, gigolos... A male prostitute/escort telling his story.

You want to keep me held inside your cage

You best remember, you're twice my age

You think I'll want you with me for evermore

It's only been two weeks, and you're such a bore

...

Can you be happy for my moment in your life

It doesn't bother you you're someone else's wife

...

I don't live for love, you sticky bitch

All I care about is if you're rich

You decide if you still want to play this game

The price to you for this is nothing will ever be the same

As a woman who repeatedly has affairs with much older married men and then enjoys destroying their lives afterwards, I kinda relate to this one...

I'm not a whore or a home-wrecker; I just think men should not get away with all the shit they do. I like older men and the sort I go for tend to be married so when they decide they are tired of putting up with my demands or want to move on to someone ever younger, I make things "difficult" for them... and I am immensely proud of this.

The title track is the W.H. Auden poem put to music. When I was doing my A Level in English, we were put on the spot one day and told to recite a poem. Guess which was the only one I could remember verbatim...

As for "I Am the Spirit"... This song has given me such strength over the years. It gives an insight into the complexity of human nature.

I am the man for all of the seasons

I am the boy who never fears

I am the woman who knows all the reasons

I am the girl who sheds the tears

It speaks of hope and ambition, something that can be lacking in this day and age when our lying government are cutting public spending and forcing libraries to close and buses to stop running.

I have a need for building on tomorrow

I have a need to begin today

I have no time for living some past sorrow

I just want to get on my way

I need to have a strength in my conviction

I need to have the final say

I need to make some sense in my selection

I just want to get on my way

Buy Victor if you ever see it available. You wont be disappointed.

Just wanted to say...

...hello to my friends in Egypt who have been visiting the blog over the last few days.

It makes me proud that, even with your country in turmoil with restrictions placed on internet access, people are still willing to read what I say on here.

Wishing you all the best.

End of the raw week

I kinda got busy so didn't post day 7... and now I can't remember what I ate...

What I do remember, though, is that fact that I lost 7lbs in that first week of going raw and I feel much better. I am going to keep it up and see where it gets me. My symptoms have been quiet and I feel more alert.

What I am going to do is be raw all of the time except... I will allow myself one regular (vegan) meal once a week, at least until I have got all of my addictions out of my system.

I am still loving my juicer and being able to experiment with new food and creative ways.

Loving it.

Going Raw: Day Six

Feel a tiny bit sluggish today. Plus I have a spot on my chin. I think everything is starting to catch up on me...

Breakfast - fruit salad (same as yesterday)

Lunch - salad (lettuce, peppers, sprouted adzuki beans, tomatoes) with olive oil

Dinner - burgers (carrots, macadamia nuts, onion, nutritional yeast) on iceberg lettuce with sliced tomato (so good) plus carrot-kale-apple juice

Snack - a Nakd cashew bar

My new juicer arrived today. I got a slightly newer version of the one my sister has. It is amazing! It is much quieter than hers and juices really efficiently. My mom also managed to buy me a 10 kilo sack of carrots for just under three quid so I am liking working my way through those.

I am still enjoying what I am doing, even if I do feel a tad rough (could have something to do with being up all night writing a report, I guess...). I have realised that I have gone from someone who abhors food preparation - to the point where I would just have a pack of gum for lunch - to someone who spends ages pawing over recipe books and spends an hour each evening preparing dinner and the following day's breakfast.

Oh and I lost those 2lbs that Wii Fit said I had gained yesterday...

I have to hit up Tesco tomorrow as I am out of papayas and blueberries and am really low on kale...

What HAVE I become...?

Going Raw: Day 5

Weighed myself again today. Gained 2lbs. Fuck you, Wii Fit Plus, you lying piece of crap...

Breakfast - fruit salad (mango, papaya, blueberries, watermelon) and a smoothie (kale, avocado, bananas, blueberries, ground flax and ground hemp, with linseeds on top)

Lunch - leftovers from last night; sliced veg on a bed of lettuce with the rest of the lemon pesto

Dinner - pizza! A base made from flax, sunflower seeds, garlic, mixed dried herbs, olive oil, and water. Sauce was baby tomatoes, basil, and a red onion. Topped with red peppers, black olives, and fresh basil

Snack - 3 cupcakes (almonds, brazils, walnuts, dates, vanilla), and a banana

I felt SOOOOOOOOO full today. I was constantly grazing. Interesting to see what my weight will be tomorrow...

Happy Vegan Birthday to MEEEEEE!

Yup! 10 years ago today, I made the jump from fish-eating vegetarian to vegan and I have not looked back...

In the last ten years, I have never knowingly consumed animal products (ie, I was once half way through a bowl of soup in a restaurant when a lump of bacon floated to the surface...), I lived in LA before veganism was fashionable, I worked in Germany and had no choice but to eat McDonald's salads, I switched to completely vegan and then raw cosmetics (and then back to vegan because raw cosmetics burn off my skin)...

It's been an interesting time.

I have been asked "So what do you actually EAT then?!!" so many times that I don't even have to think of a witty response any more, I have been probed about my drinking habits in many bars, I have been described as "the vegan" when introduced to over 1000 people...

I would not change anything, though.

Of course, now I am raw too so I'll see you again in ten years...!