So this is 30...

Last Friday was my birthday.

I normally spend my birthday in Los Angeles, getting pummelled by hot California boys but this year? I redecorated my bedroom. It had to be done; I painted the walls white 5 years ago and it was looking cold and a bit grubby now. I also hated the blue carpet. It was in the house when we moved in 11 years ago and we just never got round to replacing it. Whoever fitted it never bothered putting any underlay on the floor first and the rubber backing on the carpet had disintegrated. So now I have lime green walls, corvette red woodwork (used to be off-white and looked awful), I've replaced my blue heavy velvet curtains with lightweight red silk ones (still have my black blind as there is a street light outside my window), and ripped up the carpet to reveal the original painted floorboards. I say original... The house was built in 1932 and the floorboards would have been painted during World War II. How do I know? Because only the edges of the room have been painted. There is a large unpainted square in the centre of the room that my elderly neighbour informs me would have been where they would have had some lino. Couldn't afford to cover the whole floor during the war, you see... The room looks much more grown-up now. It's a little cosier and I think it will be much better in the winter.

I have even given away all of my feather boas, fans, masks... even my Tickle Me Elmo has gone! I am 30, afterall...

I have also decided to part with my rather large bondage collection. It currently sits on ebay... I had an ex who was into all that and I built up the collection while I was with him. Then he ran off with another man and the stuff has freaked out all my boyfriends since... I have kept one pair of furry handcuffs and that's it. But whips, restraints, ball gags? All gone.

Had some nice gifts for my birthday - money, the three Jackass movies on DVD, a pair of bright red FitFlops, a bottle of vegan pink champagne, two bunches of flowers, a really nice vegan handwash, my mother paid my National Insurance contribution for me... and because Kay is still not talking to me, I don't have to take any Pound Shop crap to the charity shop on Monday!

I also took this opportunity to thin out my Facebook friends list. I truly hate Facebook... I had a lot of people from school add me. Let's make this clear... I was bullied horribly in school because my dad died while I was young and I was very quiet... Then these fuckers decide after treating me like shit for 8-odd years, we can be Facebook buddies??? Err... NO! They are all vacuous bitches who live in the same shitty West Midlands town where we grew up, either working minimum wage or on benefits, no education, no prospects, several kids by several different men... and some of them are just so freaking ugly!!! There was this one particular chick; every time she appeared in my timeline, I felt physically sick. So I decided... if they didn't say Happy Birthday to me (after I had to them over the last 11.5 months), I would delete them. That cleared 41 of them. Down to 101 friends and I actually like most of them now...

So today I will be painting my hall, stairs and landing ("Duck Egg Blue") and then I will need to make a start on the bathroom...

I've just ordered Just Dance 1 and 2 and Zumba Fitness for the Wii. Looking at paying off a big chunk of one of my old credit cards this month. Then it's finishing my MSc, applying for PhD funding, looking for a new job...

30 doesn't seem that different to 25, you know...

Return of the Bondi Stalkers

We have a new contender for the title of "BIGGEST FUCKNUT TO EVER GRACE THE INTERNET"... Fallen Angel!

C is out of the race, aside from posting inappropriate videos on Facebook but quite frankly, no one gives a shit about Facebook...

I am fairly sure it was Katelyn that set up the fake account on Twitter and started telling people I was dying in hospital (stupid bint). She's also still trying to resurrect her dead brother/friend/boyfriend, Riley. But she's boring and her family are enabling her behaviour (I, personally, would not drive my daughter on a lifeguard hunt to their homes... but what would I know...).

Now we have this silly cow!

She is the one behind the fake Whippet accounts on Twitter and Facebook. She's so thick, though, that she made it totally easy to trace them both to her. Is she a moron?!! Yes. Yes, she is...

And it's just too easy...

She looks remarkably like C...

Can't one of these stalkers be a slim, pretty, intelligent, talented person with some potential in their lives?

Of course not.

They are all dumpy, plain (or downright ugly), stupid losers with no hopes or ambitions other than getting knocked up by blokes they don't know.

Just fuck off and die in a hole, you filthy bitch.

**update**

HAHAHAHAHA!!! That ugly sack of ignorance only set up the fake accounts so she could tell everyone Whippet is her boyfriend!!! There is a very nice photo of the real Whippet and his real girlfriend over on my Hoppo blog...

Buh-bye La Redoute!

This one has haunted me for a good 11 years.

I first placed an order with La Redoute when I was in the first year of uni. I ordered a nightie and a couple of vests. I had sent my card details with the order but they set up an account for me instead. I didn't think too much of it...

But then they kept increasing my credit limit (I was still a student) and I did need clothes...

Then of course my financial situation went horribly wrong and I owed them a lot of money.

When I was sorting out my payment plans, La Redoute refused to work with me so I stopped paying them at all. Then they decided to work with me... They set up a monthly payment that was LOWER than the interest I was paying. I estimate I have paid them at extra £5000 in interest because of this.

But now...!

I paid them off in full this morning so they can fuck right off and leave me alone.

Best thing? They are still offering me credit! Are they fucking morons or something?!!

Inspirational Women, Part 16 - Billie Holiday

April 7, 1915 - July 17, 1959

(Born Eleanora Fagan)

My first introduction to Billie Holiday was through the works of Maya Angelou.

She fascinates me. She reminds me of LA a lot and makes me wish I had been there at the time, seeing her on Central Avenue...

Of course, being a pasty Jewish girl, covered in tattoos, I may have stood out too much.

She led such an interesting, though short, life.

Go buy her albums!

Beautiful Men, Part 16 - Rain

June 25, 1982 -

Yes, I would. I so would.

Rain is a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL man.

I first discovered him when I was watching a clip of Takeshi Kitano on some Japanese show and Rain was on and Kitano was kinda taking the piss out of him.

Rain was doing all his moves and, while not my kinda thing, I thought "OK... I'll pay attention..."

I own all of his albums and do enjoy a bit of Man Up when I'm bored...

I have all his TV series and movies on DVD but have never got round to watching them. Maybe one day...

Only thing about Rain is he strikes me as someone who could be rather dull... Let's hope not!

Inspirational Women, Part 15 - Jeanette Winterson

August 27, 1959 -

I have read SO MUCH Jeanette Winterson over the last 15 years. She has been part of the set texts during my GCSEs, A-levels, Bachelors, and first Masters degree. I tried to not like her; seemed too obvious for me to champion her work...

...but she kept coming back.

It is safe to say I have read most of her books at least ten times. I must have written at least eight essays on her work.

And she truly is inspirational.

She makes me want to be a better feminist and a stronger person.

"What you risk reveals what you value"

"Happy Valentines Day to those who have found love, in whatever shape or form, and to those who are still hunting, don't give up. If you feel bad, send yourself a card. You must be worth it..."

"Love is the one thing stronger than desire and the only proper reason to resist temptation"

"What is more humiliating than finding the object of your love unworthy?"

"To be ill adjusted in a deranged world is not a breakdown"

"He wrote on a piece of paper with his pencil,

Psychosis: out of touch with reality.

Since then, I have been trying to find out what reality is, so that I can touch it"

Beautiful Men, Part 15 - Makoto Nagano

長野 誠

30th March 1972 -

I have not done a Beautiful Men update in a long time but now seems kind of appropriate to start celebrating my heroes again...

I used to watch Sasuke (not so much now) and was instantly drawn to Makoto (because he's cute, strong, and short). I have exchanged a few emails with him over the years. Nothing too significant but a nice touch...

The fans are just as obsessive as everyone else and there was a real nasty blow-out on one fan forum and I guess that's why I have taken a step back now.

I am still very inspired by Nagano, though.