Malignant Narcissism

So I'm in love

2012-01-31T23:17:00.004Z

It is completely irrational - he's not my type, I am too busy/too independent to have a man in my life, we both have too many issues - but it cannot be suppressed.

I haven't been in love that often; I have only actually ever loved two of the men I have dated. Most of my relationships were based on casual shared interests and a desire to have fun.

Mike was different. I would have had his children, moved half way across the world, given up my education... It was not meant to be in the end, though. We realised it was not the right time for us and we both moved on. I still hold him in my heart but we could never be more than friends.

Tony... not so much... We shared a passionate, obsessional love. It was so intense that it nearly destroyed us both. We were both so broken by the end of the relationship that it completely changed our outlook on life, love, acceptable social behaviour... We now hate each other. I rebounded with a lovely guy but then realised I had to be alone. I consider myself healed but I am a changed person.

As for this new guy?

I haven't told him. Unsure if I ever will. If it develops naturally, then great. I wont force anything, though. He is injured too.

I am really quite difficult though; I maintain my own income and expenditure and am rather set in my ways - I can compromise but only if I see distinct benefits for myself. I will not have children and I doubt I will ever want to marry. I expect almost a level of servitude from my partner in return for absolute devotion.

I want to protect him and love him completely.

I don't know if he will let me.

We'll see.

Well what a week...

2012-01-21T16:27:00.003Z

I have been kinda busy... just kinda...

I worked last Sunday and the TM mentioned we'd had a few cases come in that needed to be dealt with.

Fine, I thought. I am very efficient and we have a large team.

First thing Monday, the girl I did not get on with was unceremoniously let go. Two other people had the week off. That reduced our numbers significantly. We had literally thousands of cases to get through.

So what did I do?

I worked a 75 hour week.

Not much else I could do, really. It was incredibly stressful and I ended up crying more than a few times but the work got done. There is still more outstanding so I have committed to another 75 hour week.

The pay next month is going to be fucking great!

It is incredibly frustrating at times, though, as others clearly do not feel they need to be doing work and fuck about instead of getting on with it. It puts more pressure on me and I end up getting very angry which in turn makes people think I am being unreasonable. All I can do is my own work, though, so I will keep my head down and keep going.

People that matter can see what is going on...

Get well soon Tony

2012-01-09T22:31:00.002Z

Wishing all the best to Tony Iommi

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T14:03:00.001Z

Happy Birthday Coze

2011-12-29T10:19:00.001Z

Well fuck you very much O2!

2011-12-26T09:18:00.005Z

I got the Dell Streak in August 2010 on a 2 year contract (been on a contract with O2 since August 2007 but been a Pay As You Go customer since they took over from BTCellnet in 2001-ish). By November 2010, the LCD screen had cracked in one corner. I went on O2's website and it was full of complaints about this phone and how it had cracked in one corner due to poor design. I returned mine for a replacement and got a new phone 3 weeks later. I was annoyed so made a complaint and when they were still not helpful, I went to the ombudsman. It dragged along and eventually I gave up.

Anyway, I had my new phone.

November 2011, the screen cracked again. I spoke to a very rude man at the call centre who eventually agreed to accept a return. I sent the phone back and then O2 made the mistake of asking me for feedback... I was then contacted by the aftercare team who chased up my repair and got my replacement phone out to me very quickly.

Great.

Not great.

Yesterday, the LCD screen cracked YET AGAIN. I just called O2 and spoke to an incredibly rude(and drunk-sounding) man who said any work is now billable (like fuck) and there is nothing at all wrong with this phone. I asked for his name. He refused. I asked for the complaints department. He refused.

I am now returning it and am seriously considering my next move.

I certainly will not be renewing my contract in August and will actively discourage everyone I know from ever using O2.

Wankers.

**Quick Edit**

The phone monkey informed me that the Newport branch would be open to accept a return today. I went to the store and guess what... Yup! They are closed til the 28th. What a tool. Formal complaint being written now...

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T12:07:00.002Z

Enjoy your holiday season!

So I'm off Ambience Spa

2011-12-19T10:00:00.002Z

As it happens, it is currently closed while the owner looks for new premises.

But - fuck me! - it's all gone tits up!

Where do I start? Well, I went in to have my lashes re-tinted and permed. The first time, they were great and lasted months. This time, It has been a few weeks and the curl has already gone and I have several distinct blond full-length lashes on each lid. These must have been missed by the dye because my lashes don't grow that fast...

Then there is the pedicures... My toe nails have gone from being so tough that it is difficult to cut them to so weak and brittle that they look absolutely vile. I am sure all that grinding away on them has done serious damage.

Her concept of time was also way off; I would go in for treatments and she would get started over an hour later than planned. I work 6 days a week and don't like wasting the 7th, standing around waiting for her to stop gassing and to do what I pay her for. What would I know, though.

But that is the least of my problems!

She started doing microdermabrasion so I went along for a treatment. It went kinda like this.

(Before treatment) Me: So I can wear make-up after this, yeah?
Her: Yeah.
(During treatment) Her: So yeah you wont be able to wear make-up tomorrow.
Me: But I have work tomorrow...
Her: Oh you'll be glowing...

I was covered in a hideous bumpy rash that took a week to calm down. Everyone in work thought I was contagious and avoided me...

After it subsided, though, I realised she had left me with a white mark across my cheek. It had not been there before so it was not a scar and I distinctly remember her going over this area just as the machine cut off at the end. I thought I would give it a while to calm down but it has been several weeks and it still looks as though I have been glassed. I am having to wear much heavier make-up than normal and am suddenly very self-conscious about my face (I have never cared before). So what the fuck did she do to me? Should I sue? I am thinking yes; she obviously lacked experience on the machine. She wanted me to have a whole course of microdermabrasion but seemed to really struggle with the concept that I work long hours and need to look professional at all times.

Best thing? I cancelled all further appointments with her and started ignoring her texts. While I was at the Whitesnake gig, she texted me and asked me to model for her the following Saturday. I asked what it entailed and she said just a bit of painless hair removal. What she actually wanted was for me to allow her to practise eletrolysis on me while she was trained on a new machine. Fuck right off with that shit! I am no one's guinea pig.

I am still ignoring her texts and considering my next move.

I think it is time I consulted with a lawyer.

GlitzyLips = waste of money

2011-12-13T08:53:00.005Z

I love trying new cosmetic styles out. With the industry I work in, having a bash at something new gets me and the product noticed. So when GlitzyLips first appeared, I thought I would give them a go.

Basically, they are lip foils and they look pretty good on. I loved the colours so I placed an order of over $100 at the beginning of November and waited. I was aware they would ship towards the 3rd week of November so was willing to give it a bit of time. But then nothing happened. No shipping notification, no update to say there are delays, nothing.

I tweeted them about it and they said they would get back to me that day. They did not. I gave them a few days (I was busy in work anyway) and then went to Paypal (so lucky I paid through them as I would otherwise have just kissed this money goodbye). I opened a dispute and was contacted by the company owner who said she would get back in touch the following day with an update. This was on the 9th. Guess what? Yup! Not got back to me!

Thanks for that.

Paypal are now reviewing the case.

This is not the only thing that annoys me, though. Around the same time GlitzyLips appeared on the market, Violent Lips also made their grand entrance. Basically, Violent Lips are temporary lip tattoos so you get a design rather than just colour. The company was founded by a pair of young sisters out in California. I figured I would try them too and they arrived within a week of being ordered plus I then placed a second order that arrived within 2 days. Their customer service is excellent and the range is great. The product is even much better than you would expect. The thing that annoys me though? Whoever controls the GlitzyLips Twitter account has on several occasions retweeted unpleasant and outright nasty comments about Violent Lips. How unprofessional of them! They cannot compete with these teens so they encourage nasty comments!

Ugh.

So anyway, I'm done with them. They had their chance. Now I want my money back.

Don't buy GlitzyLips. They are literally a waste of money.

Whitesnake - Newport Centre, December 7th 2011

2011-12-10T15:25:00.003Z

So I'm not dead. Though I did have a bout of hummus poisoning the other day and wished I would die... Never buying ASDA hummus again...

In episode 38 of "Educating my nephew", I took him to see Whitesnake.

Oh yes.

I have always thought David Coverdale was a wanker but fair play to him, it was a bloody good show. It was kinda like "An Audience with Old Cov" rather than a full-on rock show but I do love it when they interact with the audience. I hid behind my handbag to avoid his lewd comments...

Support was from Red, White & Blues and they were really quite good. Decent simple blues rock with a lot of passion. I will try to get their CD sometime...

Whitesnake were on before 9pm. Their intro was The Who's My Generation. They then came out and played a solid 2 and a half hours. There was a good mix of old and new plus Deep Purple's Burn for Jon Lord. There was an extended fret board wank-fest but then an amazing drum solo made up for that. No encores but we didn't need it. David gave us what we came there for.

OK, he does not have the range he used to but he can match Halford with the screams and I still have tinnitus.

They made it a really good Christmas show with fairy lights, a mini Christmas tree, Santa throwing out t-shirts, and they finished by the whole band singing I'm Dreaming of a Whitesnake Christmas a cappella.

All in all, it was fucking great. My nephew loved it and, OK, I would be mortified if I woke up under Dave but I have always liked men in black jeans and white shirts....

Review: Iron Man - Tony Iommi

2011-10-30T20:52:00.003Z

As told to TJ Lammers

****

I bought this when it was first released and read it within two days but decided to give it a bit of time before I reviewed it to ensure I was being fair to the text.

So where to start? The start, I guess!

The book follows the usual music biography format with an anecdote to kick it off followed by a jump to childhood and then a standard plodding chronological order.

The stories about growing up in Birmingham were great for me as that is where I grew up too so I could really relate but I wonder how interesting it would be to someone who had not experienced that kind of heavy industry-influenced, poverty-ridden, immigrant-status start to life...

There are some great little stories in there but like most musician autobiographies, it suffers from being far too short, merely skimming over the surface rather than getting into the juicy details.

There is content missed out (ie, the real battles Tony had with Ozzy and Sharon) and I am convinced there were a lot better tales left out than included...

The most interesting part for me was Tony's take on Cozy Powell's death. Tony obviously holds Shari firmly to blame for the accident and it makes me wonder how many more of Cozy's friends feel that way. She played the role of the grieving widow very well but there was so much more to that day than we will ever know...

Getting back to the book, though. It IS very good. It gives you a good introduction but I would love to see it expanded upon as I am sure Tony has much more to offer.

How about a blog, Tone?!!

Review: Ambience (Update)

2011-10-30T15:45:00.003Z

The Uplands

Rogerstone

Newport

01633892333

*****

I reviewed this place when it first opened earlier this year. I said at the time I was happy with the treatments and would go back to try more...

Oh did I...

In total, I have had 3 pedicures, a manicure, an Indian head massage, 2 eyebrow waxes, an eyelash tint and perm, and a microcurrent facial.

I am now a regular, going every couple of weeks or so. Sarah has got some new stuff in (including a very comfy pedicure chair).

I had the microcurrent facial last night and - I shit you not! - I look 10 years younger! It basically consists of having these weird paddles rubbed over your face while it sends a tiny electrical current through your muscles, relaxing them and releasing your wrinkles. It's like botox without the toxins, trauma, needles...

The electro-facials (microdermabrasion coming soon) run at £35 with a back massage included. You can also get the vacuum suction one to clear your pores (I had that too!) and in that you get your usual cleanse, moisturise, etc. All in all, a pretty amazing deal!

As for the eyelash perm and tint; they are a small luxury that I now cannot live without. I look more alert and don't need to struggle to find vegan mascara. The best thing? It lasts for months!

You can also get Minx nails at the bargain price of £15 plus ear candling, massage, spray tans...

Get your butt over there and support a local business!

And say Helen sent you ;)

Beautiful Men, Part 20 - Pasha Kovalev

2011-10-29T21:05:00.004+01:00

Januray 19th 1980 -

Now, I know some will say this is a cop-out due to his recent involvement in Strictly Come Dancing but I have been following Pasha's career since he first appeared on So You think You Can Dance.

I just love this guy! He's handsome and humble and takes criticism well. And, fuck me, he can dance!

Pavel was born in Siberia and moved to the US to be a professional dancer. He is currently partnering Chelsee Healey on the UK version of Strictly... and is becoming quite a favourite...

Save Tesco Risca!

2011-10-25T10:57:00.004+01:00

I have been informed by a reliable source at Caerphilly Council that the Tesco Extra store in Risca/Pontymeister is set to close due to lack of custom.

Say it ain't so!

I love that store. It is close to my house and is the best supermarket in the area for my dietary requirements. I certainly will not be driving across town to find another Tesco.

More importantly, though, that store employs hundreds of people from the local area. What will happen to them once they shut? There will not be another store willing to come in and take over so we will have surging unemployment rates and a vast expanse of land going to waste. Risca is already a struggling town so this would be just ridiculous.

Rather than shutting it, why don't Tesco try to do some promotions to get the locals more inclined to use it? And I don't mean getting the local school kids coming in to pack your groceries; the language on Sunday was appalling!

The biggest issue the locals have is with the prices. How about some decent promotions that people will actually like? Tesco in Newport used to do something like spend £40 and get a free box of tea bags and packet of biscuits. People love that kind of gesture. We are running up to Christmas and, considering how horribly busy Morrisons always is this time of year - and that's a crap supermarket! - this is the perfect chance for Tesco to win over some new business!

Come on! Don't kill yet another Welsh town...

Keep Tesco in Risca!

Life in a call centre, Part 26

2011-10-22T21:41:00.003+01:00

Been a while, my friends! A cartoon that a former colleague posted on Facebook earlier today has given me some decent inspiration...

Compliance.

Working in a call centre, you have to have your calls regularly monitored to ensure you are basically doing your job correctly. This includes meeting data protection requirements, representing the company well, and cross-selling your ass off.

We once had a competition to see who could use a customer's name the most during a call (we were supposed to use it at least 3 times). The record was set by a lad who used the customer's name 54 times. In a four minute call.

Why didn't you sell to that grieving widow? Why didn't you offer a credit card to that woman who was crying because she had just lost her job and couldn't afford to pay her bills this month? Why didn't you offer x-product to that man who called you a "stupid little twat"?

I wish I was joking...

We were expected to cross-sell on such a high percentage of calls that it alienated our customers. And the management and compliance teams could see nothing wrong with this.

Seriously, how could they expect us to sell to people who already thought our service was shit?

"Well sir, I see we have not done too well on this product. Is there anything else we can completely fuck up for you?"

Shite.

Freedom of speech or inappropriate behaviour?

2011-10-22T21:10:00.003+01:00

This article appeared online a couple of days ago.

Basically, a teacher - assistant head teacher at that - is being investigated after a newspaper drew attention to some things she had posted on twitter.

What had she said?

Well, she tweeted about blow jobs, masturbation, and used the word "cunt", amongst other things.

Well, OK. So what? Everyone is entitled to say what they think online, as long as it does not involve defamation, of course. This teacher can say what she wants and act as a bit of a common oaf if that makes her life more complete.

People have gone absolutely nutty online, attacking the newspaper and questioning their journalistic credibility. Twitter is swimming with rants about freedom of speech and protecting our real lives from our online antics.

What utter bollocks.

First off, as usual it is the same old comments over and over. Develop a thought of your own or shut the fuck up.

Secondly, this teacher got herself in this mess.

How?

She decided to contact the newspaper from her twitter account about a news story they had published about her school. She identified herself as a teacher at the school publicly. At that point, she lost all of her privacy rights. She chose to associate her rather childish tweets with her employer. It would make it much easier for current students to find her account and see exactly what she was like. Parents would also be exposed to her attitude and that would make them question her credibility as a teacher.

If you found out your child's teacher worked weekends as a prostitute, would you consider that perfectly acceptable?

Honesty would make you say no.

I am unbelievably careful about associating my online persona with my work life. I work in a highly sensitive industry and have to be vetted extensively in order to get placements. Why would I then allow my employer and all of their prospective clients know that I regularly get threats and abuse from crazy people that cannot understand that individuals can have differing opinions?

Why should this teacher not be held to the same moral standards, just because a group of loudmouths on Twitter think everything is a fucking political issue?

She may be a perfect teacher. If so, apologise for a stupid mistake and consider how you appear to others from now on.

Don't ever try to justify linking your employer with such puerile behaviour, though.

And I don't think anyone could ever use the "c-word" as a freedom of speech argument without seriously taking the piss.

School's out... forever?

2011-10-18T15:57:00.003+01:00

I've been quiet for a few weeks because I was studying for an exam. Yay me, etc. I failed my exam in May (only just!) as I was really ill with the burst ear drum. Today I resat the exam so hopefully I have done enough to pass this time...

Aside from that, I have been working long hours plus overtime. Still loving the job. Still not loving that one particular colleague... Generally we all have a laugh, though. Going to pick up some more overtime now that I am done with uni.

In other news? There isn't much... I have my eye on a stunning dress for the Christmas party season. Not worn a dress since 2002... Of course, I will need new heels to go with it...

I had a full-on cold but I worked through it (I wont go off sick).

Other than that... I have a few pieces planned for here. Maybe some more crime writing and a review or two... We shall see...

And in a secret message to a certain someone - YES, JESS!!! I have finally updated my blog!!!!

RIP Freddie Gruber

2011-10-17T14:16:00.001+01:00

What. A. Week.

2011-10-01T13:56:00.003+01:00

Did 100 hours this week. Kinda tired but pushing on. Just keep thinking of the money.

The best thing is I have just not had time to go online. I jumped on Twitter once on my phone during a break just to confirm I was not dead and that was it. Last night, I decided to settle down in bed and catch up on my emails but my internet connection dropped out and there was no way I was going back downstairs to reset the modem. So this is my first chance.

Had a few interesting things that I need to deal with (more to follow) but otherwise it looks like the world has carried on about the same without me. All good.

So we are having a mini-heatwave before the first snows hit. I am back in cut-offs and flip flops. Would quite like the snow to make an appearance soon, though. After-all, my kittens will absolutely love it...

Went into Newport this morning for the first time in a while. Give them credit, the shop keepers are trying their best. Newport has been dying for years but today there were a lot of people out and there was quite a European feel to the city... It took me back to my youth spent living in France... You never know, we might finally be able to turn this around.

From today, all shops are legally forced to charge at least 5p for a carrier bag in Wales. There were a lot of arguments about it this morning (why??? We all knew it was coming). I already had my own re-usable bags that I have carried for the last 4 years... Doesn't bother me as I now no longer will have plastic bags forced upon me in shops...

The Christmas stuff was in stock today. I bought a couple of Disaronno gift sets for myself and my mother to enjoy. Nothing else really grabbed me. Still searching for fuck-off-expensive crackers...

I also bought that Phillips Lumea hair removal system. Will give it a try and report back with the results. Already done the first treatment and aside from a warm sensation and one hair burning right off, it seems all good...

Hit bonus again at work. Not going to enjoy being well into the 40% tax bracket but that's life...

Oh what a week...

2011-09-24T11:44:00.002+01:00

Sorry I don't blog much anymore but work is really taking over.

Yesterday I worked from 6am til 10pm. I was exhausted. However, my dedication has been noticed by higher management so maybe when our contracts are up...

I am back in tomorrow from 7am. Then (hopefully) back to my normal shifts.

I had so many plans for today but have just ended up doing housework. May settle down on the settee later for a cuddle with my dog and cats... Will probably head to the spa next weekend...

I will also try to come up with some more interesting blog posts!

Ah, looking good...

2011-09-18T20:54:00.005+01:00

Literally!

Last weekend, I had my lashes permed and tinted. They look absolutely stunning. It means I don't need to struggle with mascara and the old Alice Cooper look every morning. It also means I look more alert, younger, and generally just great with little effort. Score.

I had a pedi the week before. I really need to get them more often. I reckon once a month or 6 weeks would be good.

Didn't bother with anything yesterday as I was a bit too busy dealing with family stuff but next week I may indulge in a facial and either a hot stone or a Swedish massage. I've had a horrible stiff shoulder for about ten days now so I really need to do something about it...

Work was good today. Started at 7am. Left about 2:45. I will volunteer to work every Sunday from now on. It isn't exactly taxing and the boss played music all day so it is fairly laid back. And I still hit my targets...

One of the lads who is on the same contract as me basically works from 6am til 10pm every weekday and from 7am til 3 every weekend. He is absolutely rolling in it but he has no life. We need a compromise...

Aside from a little FMF issue (first in ages), everything is good...

Skiing, Tromboning and 16 inch pizzas...

2011-09-15T10:41:00.003+01:00

One of the best things about working in a new office is having a whole new set of young minds to corrupt...

At my last place, one lad would come in every morning and regale us with stories of his latest exploits with his prostitute friends. I learned so much...

At my new office, though, no one is that depraved so we have a laugh and everything but I am not exactly expanding my mind... I am, however, blowing everyone else's...

Yesterday, one of them made a reference to skiing (the art of giving two handjobs at once) so I asked him if he knew what tromboning was... After a quick explanation, he and his mate walked out singing "I am the music man..."

Then we had en elevator race and me and my mate won but the lads wont admit that...

There's this one girl... She's just unpleasant. Like deliberately unpleasant. She fancies the boss. I may have to do him to spite the bitch... Anyway, her birthday is coming up and she has demanded a present. I suggested Horn On The Cob -

But then my mate pointed out that she just doesn't like vegetables... I responded with "Yeah but unfortunately they don't make vibrators shaped like sixteen inch mighty meaty cheese feast pizzas"...

We now can't talk about pizza...

Or the boss getting crushed to death by this chick...

Or phone sex. Not since she was off and called the boss in work and I turned to my mate and said "I bet she is masturbating furiously right now"...

And don't you dare try to use the women's loos at 8:45pm each day. "Smells like death", according to one of the new girls...

Ten years

2011-09-11T14:11:00.002+01:00

I moved to Los Angeles on August 2nd 2001.

On September 11th, I was awoken by a frantic phone call from my roommate who had already left for college - turn on the TV and don't go Downtown.

I don't like to talk about it; it was a trauma that you could never predict. I was 6000 miles from home and very alone. My roommate went to stay with friends. That was supportive of her. I considered moving back to the UK and finishing my degree in Swansea.

I didn't leave the apartment for 4 days.

Then I thought... I grew up in a major British city under the ever-present threat of the IRA. I would never be intimidated by something so close to home so I was certainly not going to be intimidated by a threat from half way around the world.

I started embracing life in America and met a lot of very accepting people (some hated me for being "foreign" but most did not). I, of course, got my tattoo in tribute to my new country and all those that were lost. I spoke out for the victims back in Europe when the political tide turned...

Ten years on, I have refused to watch any of the extensive TV coverage as it is still too much for me. I even had to switch Facebook off today because of the puerile comments some idiots were making.

I will continue to remember in my own way. Forever.

Happy Birthday Freddie

2011-09-05T09:07:00.002+01:00

Today would have been Freddie's 65th birthday

Life in a call centre, Part 25

2011-09-04T21:16:00.003+01:00

Ah, callers. Where would we be without them? In the pub, mainly. And happy. Very happy.

This is such a vast topic that I do not even know where to start and I just know I will miss out important cases and have to edit at a later date. I'll give it a go, though...

Of course, I have already told the story of the caller who threatened to rape and kill me. He was arrested and we declined all future custom from him. This was nothing knew, though; we once had a guy drive to the call centre and beat up a manager for no real reason. Then there was the usual "I hope your mother dies tonight", "I hope you never have children", "Cancer would be too good for you"... all purely because we were doing our jobs.

Let's just clarify something. I worked for a major company that offered a service. We never forced anyone to buy our products. We generally provided good service and we were a popular brand in the marketplace.

So why did so many people hate us?

I am inclined towards thinking that most people that call looking for an argument are just socio-paths.

Teachers were the worst. They would talk down to us and try to belittle us, even though 2 thirds of the floor were educated to a higher standard than them.

Porsche drivers. Wankers.

Aston Martin drivers too.

Most of the celebrities I spoke to were absolute tossers. One former Blue Peter presenter was the rudest person I have ever spoken to in my life. So was Boris Johnson's secretary who thought that the Data Protection Act should not apply to her. Nothing like having someone yell "Don't you know who I am?!!" and being able to go "Actually, no. Now get your boss on the line or hang up".

Drunk people would call at 2 in the afternoon.

Heavy breathers.

General obsessive masturbators who got off on reading their credit card numbers to women who were renewing their policies...

Screamers. Lots of screamers.

Liars who got caught up in their own lies.

People who pretended to be someone else to try to obtain information.

Fraudsters.

Then there was the nice ones. They were few and far between. We did appreciate them though...

The Cozy Powell Project (Update 9)

2011-09-04T06:09:00.006+01:00

Do you ever have a dream so vivid that it actually frightens you?

Had the oddest dream last night about the proposed Cozy documentary...

It started off simple enough - I was watching the doc on my laptop but it clearly was not yet finished as there were some continuity issues. Then it went a little weird... I was distracted for a second and looked away from the screen and when I looked back, a huge part had skipped. I tried to take the video back but it wouldn't let me. It also would not let me see the last 15 or so minutes which were about the accident.

Then I realised I was not actually watching a video but Cozy was showing me what he wanted me to see (still in the dream, of course). He was controlling what I was viewing and that is why the accident was blocked out. Also explained the continuity issues.

What I was seeing was rather interesting though... He showed me a clip of people walking around his childhood bedroom and this was really bothering him. He also showed an image of his parents' home in tatters; the basic shell was standing but the interior had been torn apart. There were people posing in front of the house and this was clearly a symbol of his family being harmed by the intrusion of others (and the symbolism was shown to me in the dream rather than me interpreting it this morning). There was a quick flash of Cozy in a football crowd but this only lasted a few seconds before it all moved on again. There was a photo of Cozy in his garden with some friends that he really wanted to keep private, along with some home movie footage of him being completely relaxed; he showed me quickly and then took the images away again.

Then the videos and images stopped and Cozy pushed me towards his homes in West Berkshire. We briefly visited Boldstart Farm and he made it clear that this was a happy place and that I was free to come back whenever I wanted. But then he wanted me to stay a night at the cottage he was living in at the time of the accident. I went in alone and was immediately met with a feeling of foreboding. There was a dark presence that dominated the whole house. It was strange; the house was empty but I kept being forced to focus on a light-fitting. It was quite an ugly light but it was apparently important. I don't understand the meaning or relevance...

I was met in the house by a woman. She was faceless and very domineering. She was keeping the house empty and this was upsetting Cozy. The house was dirty so I tried to dust and even got a Dyson out but she stopped me from making it presentable. Then we entered a room with a huge stereo (symbolic of his music) and this woman was fighting with everyone over it. She was determined to keep Cozy's name down and anyone that tried to access the house or the stereo was shouted down... And, yes, it is very clear who the woman was supposed to be.

At this point, Cozy met me outside and showed me the surrounding countryside. While we took in the view, he made it clear that he was concerned about his privacy and the country lifestyle and wanted it all to be protected. He did not want the doc to be made because it would show private parts of his life that he did not want to share. He did not want the accident to be discussed at all as he was concerned that Shari would be blamed. Then he left me and I settled in at my own house to watch TV. There was a quick image flash of Cozy waking up in hospital and then the news showed him in a press conference and leaving hospital as he was finally coming home...

He felt very strange to be dealing with things as he felt he was of another time and things had changed too much for him. He was willing to try, though, as long as his privacy was protected...

So then I woke up thinking... umm... what? Throughout the dream, Cozy never spoke and just showed me images and feelings.

Does the dream have any real meaning or am I just projecting my own reservations about the documentary onto others? I still maintain I am open-minded about the doc but I do want Cozy's memory to be protected...

MSG Elite Marketing - Lying to Employ YOU!

2011-09-03T09:54:00.002+01:00

Just received a very interesting email -

MSG Elite Marketing
Ivor House
Bridge Street
Cardiff
CF10 2TH

www.msgelitemarketing.co.uk
02921 328227 / 07411363050

Dear Helen,

Thank you for your interest in an opportunity with MSG Elite Marketing. Based in Cardiff, with offices also in Belfast, MSG Elite Marketing have a wide reaching network that spans most of the major centres in the United Kingdom. It has always been our goal to achieve above our industry standards.

I can confirm that we have received your application. The managers would like to learn more about you, and have selected you to come along and meet with them to discuss yourself, all of our current openings and MSG in detail.

Although we will be meeting with a large number of candidates your appointment will be a one to one with one of our management team who will want to learn more about you, then they will break down in detail the opportunities available too.

Please note that we have already started holding appointments for the openings and are looking to fill the opportunities as soon as possible. Please call on the number above to arrange your preliminary appointment as soon as possible.

Please visit our website as shown below for an insight into the company, various positive press releases are there to be viewed also.

I look forward to speaking to you soon.

Kind Regards

Laura
Administration Manager

MSG Elite Marketing

02921328227
www.msgelitemarketing.co.uk

The most interesting thing? I have never applied to MSG. In fact, I have previously blogged about their unscrupulous hiring tactics... So why would they actually lie in their emails to entice prospective employees in?

I have always said I thought direct marketing was a scam, ever since I got caught up with Progressive Global Training. This just confirms it for me.

Life in a call centre, Part 24

2011-08-29T19:23:00.002+01:00

Been a while since we had an entry! Oh, where to start...

I think I shall cover a pressing issue first and then get a bit more gossipy later.

One thing that really annoys me is when companies screw me over with my money. I had previously posted about how they had withheld my wages in July and then said they could not pay me until the end of August. Well, I got my wage slip through the other day. Due to their error, I have been put on emergency tax. I was not due to get much in my final pay packet as I would not get my flexibility payment and they chose not to pay me my incentives but I have now lost a further £250 that I could really do with while I wait for my first wage from my new company. Allegedly, pay day is tomorrow but it remains to be seen as to whether I actually get paid or not.

Absolute arseholes.

Anyway.

Time for another little character study...

There was this bloke who was higher management. Did not know a bloody thing about the job. He often would give you outright wrong information and if you questioned him or proved him wrong, he got really arsey.

He had the worst hair ever and suffered from a Napoleon Complex.

41 and a virgin.

The Cozy Powell Project (Update 8)

2011-08-29T09:25:00.003+01:00

Another former Cozy home! Cozy lived in this 3-bed cottage in Harwell in Oxfordshire (at the time, Berkshire) during the mid-1970s. It is now up for rent at £1500 a month. One assumes it has been extensively decorated since he lived there but it is still nice to have a nose around.

The Massacre of Braybrook Street

2011-08-28T17:50:00.009+01:00

I have been reading a lot about this case recently but am yet to find a completely thorough article. This is also not going to reach that end but it hopefully gives people an introduction to the case.

I have cross-checked facts against different sources so the information included is correct to the best of my knowledge. However, please do enlighten me as to any errors and I will work to rectify them.

The Massacre of Braybrook Street (also erroneously referred to as the Shepherd's Bush Murders) shattered what was shaping up to be an idyllic 1966. England had won the World Cup and the nation was enjoying a period of relative peace and stability, especially when considered in relation to events in the United States at the time.

All of this was shattered in just a few short moments one sunny August day on a council estate in London.

On August 12th at approximately 3: 15pm, three police officers were on undercover patrol in East Acton, London.

They were 25 year old Temporary Detective Constable David Wombwell, 30 year old Detective Sargent Christopher Head, and 41 year old Police Constable Geoffrey Fox who was acting as the driver, a role he often undertook.

The men were driving through the Old Oak Council Estate when they entered Braybrook Street and noticed a blue Standard Vaguard van with three occupants. The estate was very close to Wormwood Scrubs Prison and it was common for escapees to meet their getaway drivers in this area and so the officers decided to question the men. There is a theory that one officer may have recognised one of the van's occupants as a known criminal but there is no way to confirm this. The van had an expired tax disc anyway (and, indeed, the insurance had also expired earlier that day) so was being illegally driven and therefore the officers had more than enough to question the van driver about.

The van's driver was John 'Jack' Witney and the other two occupants were John Duddy and Harry Roberts. Witney (aged approximately 36 and married) had ten prior convictions for theft while Duddy (37) had been in trouble as a youngster for the same but had no known convictions since 1948 and was working as a lorry driver. He did, however, have a drinking problem and had recently fallen in with his two co-occupants. Roberts was 29 and a career criminal with convictions for violent robbery amongst other things. Later in life, Roberts would tell of his troubled childhood in order to illicit sympathy but would also boast of killing prisoners of war in cold blood whilst in the army in Malaya; he would later say that police officers and prisoners of war were alike - inhuman and free to be killed at will. The three men were on their way to commit an armed robbery against a money-lender and so had handguns in the vehicle, an offence that would get them - as convicted criminals - a 15 year prison sentence.

DS Head and DC Wombwell approached the van and questioned Witney about the tax and insurance. Witney pleaded with the officers to let him off. Roberts, however, had other ideas. He shot DC Wombell through the left eye, killing him instantly. DS Head attempted to run back to the safety of their own vehicle but Roberts chased him down and shot him in the head, leaving him mortally wounded. Duddy retrieved a second of three guns from the vehicle and shot PC Fox three times through the window as he reversed his unmarked police car towards the scene of the initial shootings. Roberts also fired at him. As Fox died, the car lurched forward, running over the dying DS Head.
Witney, who had not left the van, collected his two accomplices and reversed out of the street and sped away, only to be noticed by a local resident who gave the registration number of the suspicious vehicle to the police. The van was actually owned by Witney and he was arrested at his home that evening. The van was found in a lock-up belonging to Witney the following day. Witney confessed everything to the police on August 14th and named Duddy and Roberts as the shooters. Duddy was arrested on August 17th in his home-town of Glasgow after his own brother tipped the police off.

That just left Harry Roberts.
Roberts was determined to avoid capture and did for over 90 days by using his military training to hide out in Epping Forest. He was eventually arrested on November 17th at Blount Farm near Bishop's Stortford after falling asleep in a barn, just as Duddy and Witney were about to start their trial without him. Indeed, their trial was adjourned to allow prosecutors time to prepare their case against Roberts so the three could stand trial together.

The new trial began on December 6th and was all over by the 12th. Roberts admitted killing DS Head and DC Wombell but Duddy and Witney denied all charges. Witney was the only one to appear in his own defence, painting Roberts as the ring leader who terrified the two men into doing his bidding. The three were convicted of the murders of the police officers and were sentenced to life imprisonment. The death penalty had been abolished the previous year but this case renewed calls for it to be reinstated in the circumstance of cop killers, an argument that rages to this day. While life imprisonment does not actually mean that in the UK and can vary as to how long is served, the judge did recommend a minimum 30 year sentence for each man.

There was public outrage that such a terrible event could occur when the three police officers were simply doing their jobs. Thousands of citizens and police officers attended the funeral and memorial service of the three men. There was also mass public support for the families of the three men with Billy Butlin of the Holiday Camps donating £250,000 to the newly established Police Dependants' Trust. The tabloid newspaper The Mirror funded a photography degree for Paul Fox, the son of PC Geoffrey Fox and helped his move to the United States in order for him to have a chance at a new life away from the trauma of that August afternoon.
In 1988, a permanent memorial was placed on Braybrook Street to honour the three men.

As for the convicted men? Duddy died in Parkhurst Prison of undisclosed causes on February 8th 1981. Witney had his sentence reduced as he had not actually shot any of the police officers and was released from prison in 1991. On 14th August 1999, exactly 33 years after his confession to the police, Witney was found brutally murdered in his home at 56 Douglas Road, Horfield, Bristol. Neighbours were as equally shocked to hear not only of his murder but also of his role in the Braybrook Street incident; they said he was just another quiet old pensioner who liked going to the pub with his friends. He had, however, revealed his past to his closest friends who said he had been haunted by the murders and was full of remorse. He suffered terrible nightmares and so chose to work with a rehabilitation program to help other offenders stay straight after prison. He had been divorced by his wife whilst in prison and initially became a lorry driver upon his release but was badly injured in a road accident in 1996 and so had to retire. He was beaten to death with a hammer by his heroin-addicted house-mate, Nigel Evans, and the killing had nothing to do with the events of 1966. Witney truly regretted the suffering he had helped to cause.

And then there is Harry Roberts. When parole comes up, he states he is remorseful for what he put the families of the victims through. The rest of the time, he makes pastry figures of policemen being shot and uses them as apple pie decoration or he paints very graphic pictures of police killings. He seems to take pride in his notoriety.

Harry Roberts became a cult figure for some; the cop killer who became a hero. Football supporters chant his name to goad the police at matches. OK, this is largely Millwall supporters who are the biggest bunch of fuckwits to ever work out how to climb on a bus and go wreck the cities of their opponents AT EVERY AWAY MATCH but they still, unfortunately, have a voice and are influencing a whole new generation of morons to hate the police and glorify killers.

Now in his 70s, Roberts remains in prison with parole being declined. Why? Because he is a danger to the public and should never be released.

Back in 2001, Roberts was at an open prison when he started doing day release at a local animal sanctuary. He ingratiated himself with the owners initially, before he realised they had discovered his past, and then he switched to intimidation to maintain his cushy role. Amongst other acts, he forced the owners to drive him places, to insure a car for him (prisoners are not allowed cars), to host his criminal friends, including someone Roberts referred to as "the chainsaw man" following his revelation that the man enjoyed torturing people with the afore-mentioned tool, and to write a character witness statement for him to help with his release from prison.

The family were terrified of him and knew if they went to the prison for help, Roberts would find out. He regularly threatened them and caused them great emotional suffering.

The family managed to get a friend with high-ranking political connections to intervene and get him removed from their home. Roberts immediately suspected they had reported him and was livid when he was returned to closed prison. The authorities decided to use their evidence to keep Roberts in prison; they promised to protect the family from harm and never reveal their identities.

Over the next four years, Roberts called the female sanctuary owner up to five nights a week, making veiled threats and demanding she visit him in prison so that he could be much more graphic with his descriptions of his intentions.

This was the least of their problems, though. Over the four years, the family had to undergo one of their horses being hacked to death with an axe - she was a gentle creature who everyone loved; the killers attempted to hang her from a tree and dragged her a long distance where she fought them valiantly. They eventually chopped part of her head off - a donkey was beaten to death with a baseball bat, another horse was hit in the leg so hard that the vet had no choice but to put it to sleep, a further horse was blinded in one eye after being beaten with a pipe, the family cat was electrocuted (and later that day during one of his persistent calls, Roberts asked how the cat was, making it clear he had ordered this and other attacks, even explaining how easy it was to electrocute a cat), and a peacock was strangled.

The family remained strong and gave evidence, proving that Roberts should not be released. He remains in prison and the family are still traumatised by events and never received the privacy and protection that the authorities offered; they eventually had to give evidence in an open parole hearing with Roberts and his lawyer present.

Roberts has shown himself to be a violent criminal who takes pleasure in the suffering of others. He will never reform because he does not want to. He even once said he just wanted to go fishing, knowing that Geoffrey Fox was an avid fisherman and that his words would hurt the policeman's children greatly; after-all their dad can't just go fishing.

This information is all in the public domain. So why do people campaign for his release and hold him up as a great hero?

The quick answer is because they choose ignorance over common decency. They argue that he has done his time so should be released. While I agree with the principle, in British law no one should be released until they repent and can prove that they will not re-offend. Prior to these murders, Roberts beat an elderly man who never recovered from his injuries. Roberts was imprisoned for the attack but the man died just over a year later. Had he died two days earlier, Roberts would have faced a murder trial and the death penalty. He never showed remorse for that attack and went on to kill again. Sure, he is an old man now but with so many "followers", is there any evidence at all that he is no longer a danger to the public?

As for these "artists" that campaigned for his release? How about campaigning for his victims to rest in peace? You aren't being controversial; you are being stupid.

The Cozy Powell Project (Update 7)

2011-08-28T13:50:00.003+01:00

I am still researching the exact time line on this one but Cozy's parents were living in this 3-bed mid-terrace in Cirencester in the mid-1970s. It is yet to be confirmed if this is the house Cozy grew up in...

The Cozy Powell Project (Update 6)

2011-08-27T22:19:00.003+01:00

This is a house Cozy was living in during the early part of the 1970s... Taken recently, of course.

Got some very interesting documents through today. It amazes me how little I still know about Cozy. I guess there will always be more questions than answers but it is fascinating finding out what I can...

Oh, these ebayers!

2011-08-26T09:15:00.002+01:00

So who sits there and thinks "I'm going to purchase £214.99 of stuff from someone and then not pay LOLZ!"??

Bracken18, that's who!

Dear Samantha of Brighton bought 3 items from me and then did not pay. I issued reminders and even messaged her to make sure there were no problems. After hearing nothing, I opened a dispute. After a few days, her "partner" messaged me to say that she had been in a "bad accident" literally TWO SECONDS after purchasing those items and now could not pay but he himself would pay on the 25th. By 11pm, nothing received. Reminder message issued. This morning, still nothing. What a total waste of space. She is obviously a time waster who likes jerking people around and then making up stories after. I'd take her to small claims court but she is obviously poor.

Ah the joys of the Priest camp

2011-08-25T09:44:00.003+01:00

I cannot believe I missed this at the time!

At the end of July, John Baxter - Rob Halford's manager - posted on his website that there was a lot of bullshit going on within the Priest camp, referencing Glenn Tipton as the decision maker and Jayne Andrews as a "leach" and Glenn's "amateur thug".

The post was quickly deleted and Rob distanced himself from it while Priest (ie, Jayne) issued a statement that they would allow the courts to settle it all.

Umm. What?

The story has largely only been picked up in Europe, appearing in various publications with several stating that Jayne lives with Glenn. I am unsure if this is a translation issue but there have always been rumours...

As I said before, I do not think Jayne Andrews should be attacked because she is a woman in a male-dominated industry. However, if she is doing a shit job, she's fair game.

Anything posted about this whole issue is being censored so it is all very odd.

It is also incredibly sad to see this happen to one of my favourite bands. First KK left after citing management and personnel issues and now Rob's manager is citing management and personnel issues too...

We will probably never know the truth of what is actually going on.

I do feel that Priest's management need to take a step back and let the band do what they do best without issuing so many statements.

I mean, today is Rob's 60th birthday and the Facebook birthday wish from the band was signed Glenn, Ian, Scott, Richie and Jayne...

What?!!

The whole sorry tale in one hit

2011-08-25T08:24:00.006+01:00

There are so many lies and half-truths going round right now that I thought it was about time I shared the entire saga. As you all know, I am brutally honest so interpret it as you will. I mean, you could believe me or you could believe someone who posts stuff on their blog, deletes it, then denies ever posting it initially... Your call...

So two Christmases ago, my mother bought me a Kindle. It was the Kindle 2 and she had it shipped from the US (then like two months later, they launched the Kindle 3 in the UK at half the price... thanks for that, Amazon...). I spent the next few months browsing Amazon, getting samples of books and then buying the most interesting ones. I love my Kindle. Anyway, after a while, I saw that a Hala Pickford had reissued Natacha Rambova's book and also written a novel about Valentino. Oh, a Pickford, I thought. They must know a lot about Hollywood history with that kind of connection AND writing about Valentino. That is, of course, what she wants you to think... I bought both books without getting the samples first. BIG mistake.

I read the Rambova book first and was deeply annoyed by the whole thing; the formatting was horrendous, there were glaringly obvious spelling mistakes, and the author had interjected her own comments throughout the text. These comments were all opinion and had no place in a book like this. Some were also just rants at other people (such as those who thought Valentino may have been gay... I did not understand the significance at the time...).

I posted a review on here and on Amazon as I felt entirely ripped off. Hala commented on here about various aspects and was largely respectful and addressed a few of the issues, though we will always disagree that there is a difference between talking and singing... As a former singer, she should know that herself. But I digress...

Hala offered to send me a paper copy of the book to see if it was any better than the Kindle version. Contrary to what others claim, it DID NOT fall apart. Sheesh!

I was reading her blog one day when I saw the incident between her and Tracy Terhune. I ran a google cache search that confirmed a lot of what she said was accurate (he posted various things on his website and then deleted them; incidentally, Terhune emailed me a while ago and said that I had posted absolute lies about him on here that I had got from Hala when in fact I had not posted anything that google had not already confirmed. I did not reply). I then posted a piece about it (since deleted after things started flaring up) and Hala contacted me to thank me for speaking out. I was tired of all of the bitchy personal comments on Amazon about Hala so I deleted my review on there, just leaving the one on here. From then on, Hala and I would exchange emails. She told me all the troubles she was having with Terhune and she also mentioned a David Bret, whom she said was abusing her on his blog and on various forums. I had a read through and some of what he said was wildly offensive and unnecessary so I blogged about that too. I will say, though, that there was no evidence for a lot of what Hala claimed; she did forward me a few emails allegedly from Bret but there was nothing that could actually be verified. David Bret posted some abuse about me, including taking my photos from my google account and making snide comments about non-issues. This went on for a while and then Hala told me about an Evelyn Zumaya who was also getting abuse from Bret after she had made some comments abut him on her own blog, Valentino Speaks (since deleted).

I followed the blog as well as Bret's, observing the various arguments and mud-slinging. I will be honest, I did not like Zumaya from the start; I found her to be overly confrontational and rude. But at least she was standing up to him.

Hala and I continued to exchange emails and she told me other stories of her enemies, such as a Zachary Jaydon/Jaydon D Paull and all the problems they had had in Florida. I googled him and found a hate-filled blog, obviously set up by Hala. She told me he was a convicted criminal, etc. I have no idea if these two individuals are the same person but there is a Jaydon D Paull in the US who is a convicted criminal; he sued after an accident in a prisoner transport vehicle... It is handy having access to criminology databases sometimes!

I blogged various things but only about Bret as he was the most vocal and the only one attacking me directly at this point.

Zumaya continued with her own blogging and then Hala Pickford sent me a link to a blog and said I had better never tell anyone she had sent me the link. It was the Boycott David Bret blog and she gave me the password and invited me to write for it. I never did. She told me Zumaya was writing for it which she has since denied but there were two very distinct writing styles on there and there was stuff posted which was verbatim what was on Zumaya's blog. Even Bret picked up on that at the time and blogged about it.

In retaliation, Bret set up his own Boycott Hala Pickford blog. Various people received more of his special attention, including the three of us. I responded to some things, ignored others.

Then I got a series of emails from Zumaya. These were sent to my private email address that I only give out to a select few people, one of those being Hala Pickford; anyone can contact me via the two email addresses I have on my blog and I will reply from those until I feel they can be trusted. I was kind of annoyed about this as I viewed it as an invasion of privacy. After receiving the first email from Zumaya, I got one from Pickford, confirming she had passed on my email address and "I hope that's OK". No, it was not OK but there was not much I could do about it at that point. Zumaya's emails showed her to be a very bitter person with a serious vendetta against David Bret. She was so consumed with hatred that I was actually quite concerned for Hala as they were obviously friends and socialised together.

Then the Agenti emails appeared. Zumaya told me of the content in great detail while Hala just mentioned that Zumaya had received an email from someone with information about Bret. I thought it was all a bit weird and said so. Then Zumaya posted the emails on her blog, associating David Bret with rape, sexual abuse, paedophilia and lottery wins(!). That was it for me. I posted a blog entry making it clear I was through with the both of them as Hala obviously was far too dependent on Zumaya to see what she had done was very wrong.

Bret went quiet towards me but then bounced back with a particularly nasty post. I responded that he ought to fact-check before making wild accusations and then he emailed me, demanding to know if I had been reviewing his books. I confirmed I had not posted any online reviews and then we exchanged a few more emails and sorted everything out. Bret apologised for the abuse and I deleted all posts that contained source material from Hala Pickford as, by this point, I did not think she could be trusted. I believed that Zumaya had posted the reviews in my name but then Hala let slip that it was actually her that had done it. Lovely.

Bret and Zumaya stepped up their mutual abuse and then Zumaya suddenly deleted her blog. That was the end of it, I thought, until she appeared with another about a painting she was doing but I think that only lasted a couple of entries.

All was quiet, save for Bret and Pickford throwing things at each other occasionally. Then she had all of her restraining orders against people and then there was the defamation case.... By this time, the other anti-Pickford blog was in full swing. I was completely out of it by this point, being far too busy with other things to get involved any longer.

Then Affairs Valentino received a rushed release. I tried to buy it but could not. I blogged about this and then Pickford tweeted me that it would soon be available in the UK and I would be welcome to review it.

What utter bollocks.

When I finally did get hold of a copy, I started reviewing it and Zumaya appeared with a new blog and started harassing and attacking me! She had been a "victim" of this herself and then goes straight on and does it to someone else! Clever...

My reviews are honest; I don't think the book should have been published as it is. It looks like a rough draft that was thrown together and not proof-read at all. Aside from the spelling and grammar, the "facts" contradict other very well-known information (such as when Valentino actually died). Plus there are many issues with the sources... I have, however, already covered all of this so I will not go through it all here again.

While Hala Pickford addressed issues with her book, Zumaya's response? To post a picture of a dead animal and reference me in the tags, to accuse me of being controlled by David Bret, to call me the "depressed Bamboo woman", to make up other derogatory names for me.

Does this seem normal to ANYONE??

Seriously, what sort of decent author would behave like this?

I have raised important issues about this book and she replies by calling me Bret's "hate spewing mouthpiece". Where does she even get that from? I reacted to her abuse and she makes me out to be the bad person? Does she not see that if she had not been so absolutely nasty towards me, I would not have wished her a painful death? I guess she thinks she is allowed to do whatever she wants.

She attacks me because Terhune had commented on here and due to the people who follow my blog. Firstly, my blog is open so absolutely anyone can follow it. Secondly, as long as they are not abusive, anyone can comment on my blog. Except for tossers. Tossers get censored.

"Someone" (I know who) posted my real name and home address on various websites. Google removed one and the others were removed after I stated on here that I had gone to the police. I live with my elderly mother (have done since she suffered a major stroke). Are they hoping some psycho will come round and beat us both to death?

Whatever.

I received a tip-off the other night that the police wanted to speak to me so I contacted the authorities myself. I was informed "If any silly cow starts complaining about your blog to me, I will personally have them arrested for wasting police time. I bloody love your call centre posts!"

So there you have it.

Should you review a book, you will be harassed, abused, threatened.

I would stop reviewing the book (as I said, I am not finding it a "pleasant" read) but I know that will not stop her from harassing and abusing me. I have received several emails - one from a very surprising source - confirming that Zumaya will not stop until my blog is shut down. After-all, that is just a great way to deal with a negative review!

I have other more important things to worry about than this woman. As people are aware, my sister is terminally ill, my nephew just had his Olympic career ruined by some stupid twat that attacked him, and then there is taking care of my mother and grandmother. Also consider I am the primary wage earner in my family for various reasons and you realise there is more to life than having to defend myself from daily abuse.

And that's that.

The death of Morrisons?

2011-08-24T12:57:00.004+01:00

I used to work for Morrisons up in Birmingham. I was 16 and was earning £2.09 an hour. They used to make me work til well after midnight on school nights (my shift was 5 til 10) and there was no mention of overtime. After I was assaulted by a customer one night, they were entirely uninterested so I quit.

I have no loyalty to the store; they really do not cater to vegans the way the bigger stores do. I would only pop in if I needed something in a hurry.

Over the years, I have had awful problems with security who profile people with tattoos. Funnily enough, so has one of my mates back in the Midlands... I would often get followed round by these young men who assumed all tattood people were shop lifters. A formal complaint means I am now generally left alone...

One checkout kid once complained to me that they would not let him go on lunch. He was diabetic and needed to eat.

Recently, my cousin had to leave his job at another Morrisons in Birmingham after he had a crate fall on his arm and they refused to let him go home early. By the time he got home and showed his mother, he was dangerously close to losing his arm. Arm was saved. Court case pending.

No respect for their staff or customers at all.

Anyway, today I needed a couple of bits so popped in to the local store. It was... weird... The prices are stupidly high; like twice the price of Tesco Metro. It was also dead in there. I was looking across the store and it just screams "dying business". They tend to get busier at Christmas because people always assume Morrisons will be quieter than Tesco but myprediction is this branch will be gone by the end of the Olympics next year. I just cannot see how they could be surviving as it stands.

I really shouldn't laugh but...

2011-08-23T23:25:00.002+01:00

There's this lad at work who has a thing for flicking elastic bands at people. Tonight, the inevitable happened... The band broke and flicked back, hitting himself right in the eye.

You know when you laugh so much that you not only cry but you get a headache and really ought to go lay down in a darkened room for a while?

I did just about manage to ask him if he was OK...

It wasn't so much that he had hurt himself but his reaction. He called the band a "slag" and then went and told all of the women in the office in the hope of getting some sympathy. It didn't work... He had one hell of a shiner come up almost immediately. I feel bad for laughing so may take him in a little present tomorrow...

It took him about 5 minutes to start flicking the elastic bands again...

"All fun and games til someone (literally) loses an eye..."

People fall for this???

2011-08-22T09:10:00.000+01:00

Dane Williamson hazelebelfa324@yahoo.com to brenlally

show details 7:12 AM (1 hour ago)

Hello.

Our company is pleased to offer you a well-paid part-time job.

Location : UK

If you are interested, please reply to : lucius1stzkes@gmail.com with your contact details.

Best wishes,
TripAdvisor Company

In other news...!

2011-08-21T22:11:00.002+01:00

I have now done two weeks at my new job and it is still going great. Can't wait til pay-day... I know what I am doing which helps. I am even back to wearing make-up every work day which I gave up on very early at my last place. It isn't very good for my skin but my eyes look stunning...

I woke up at 4am yesterday and started vomiting like a trouper. Managed to keep it up for most of the day. Today it was all over but I was left feeling very weak. I hate doing nothing though so started my Christmas shopping. Most people are getting spa vouchers but I got the presents of all of those who are not. I have even got in early and ordered my winter boots... I am starting to feel a little festive because of the bad weather, I guess.

Part of my holiday season preparations always involves tidying out a year's worth of papers. I did that today and found a little notebook that I used to monitor my debts. In February 2007 (just before I started at my last place), I owed £21,000. Today I owe £7000. Not bad going, really. I will be paying off Barclaycard - my final credit card - by the end of the year and then that will leave about £5000 on a bank loan. I hope to clear that by the end of 2012. Of course, this does not include the £18,000 I owe to the Student Loans tossers... but I'm working on it!

My debts sound horrendous. I was not reckless with money; I had the usual debts in uni, even though I worked throughout my time studying and then I got involved with that wanker who ran up massive debts in my name. Then I lost my job. There was no help from the authorities and my only real option was bankruptcy. Then I started working stupid hours in a job I hated and put everything I had into getting my life sorted out. That job gave me the experience I needed to take a job I actually liked.

So it can be done. Just takes a lot of hard work.

More from that imaginative "author"

2011-08-21T10:29:00.002+01:00

Apparently, I am David Bret. Or he is me. Or we are conjoined twins.

I don't know what the fuck she is rabbiting on about this time. Think she is finally losing it.

It seems that because David Bret and I share similar views of her, we must be the same person. Is she not aware that there is a much simpler common denominator here?

Her.

Her actions have caused our reactions. It is possible for two different people to share a similar view of a person due to that person's behaviour. Take Hitler. Most people think he was pure evil. That doesn't mean that all those people are actually just one individual; it means that Hitler's actions made him appear to be pure evil.

Both David Bret and I think you are a vicious, manipulative old woman. Could it possible be because that is what your actions make you appear to be?

Zumaya thinks constantly associating my name with David Bret will diminish the value of what I am saying. Oh do shove your latest hate campaign up your arse, my dear! I merely reviewed a book. OK, it was an awful book. But what can I say? I (unlike certain others) do not lie so cannot give the book a glowing review when it is full of so many basic errors. It is a rip-off, plain and simple. It has horrible mistakes, a dodgy style, and questionable content. Beautiful book? I think not!

Surely if the author had any basic worth as a human being at all, they would address all of the problems with the text. Instead they just keep posting the same hackneyed tripe. That just proves that the author rates her personal agenda higher than the subject.

Get over it. No one believes your lies any longer. You cannot destroy me the way you destroyed your own "literary career".

Oh, and I must say there is still one place where you can buy Affairs Valentino - Amazon.co.uk marketplace. I think they should be contacted, however, and advised that Amazon.com have refused to sell the book at all. I would hate for Amazon.co.uk to get in to trouble for allowing the sale of such a questionable text.

Is Evelyn Zumaya suffering from senile dementia?

2011-08-20T23:01:00.004+01:00

Apparently, she has a new habit of denying all of the emails she has sent people.

Could it be that she is losing her memory as she gets older? I have seen it happen and her symptoms are not much different than those exhibited by my elderly neighbour who has dementia. Should that be the case, I am sure she could get into a really good care home with all of the money she has made from the "brisk" sales of Affairs Valentino.

She denies sending any emails about David Bret to anyone else.

Huh... that's a thought... when Bret stated that he had emails from that Agenti, she freaked out and was insistent that no one could have sent them to him, save from hacking her account. Surely that implies she was actually behind the Agenti account? Hmm...

Anyway, Zumaya denies that she ever sent me any emails about David Bret. Why else would she have contacted me? To talk about the weather?

No.

She sent me several emails that all followed the same format after obtaining my private email address from Hala Pickford (without my permission and certainly against my wishes), in which she obsessed on Bret and repeatedly covered the claims of her sexual relations with her father's corpse, to the point where I said on here that I thought she was a little too focused on it and was allowing her twisted hatred to interfere with her life far too much. I mean, yeah, no one actually believes she fucked her dad's still-warm body and I can understand her venting about it once but repeatedly??? Come on now. Adult? I think not... She asked me about a "Harry Plant" (I googled him and advised of what I had found, confirming that he was definitely not David Bret). She also advised me of the specific websites she was using to try to get David Bret's home address. Of course, it was Hala Pickford who had traced his IP address and sent me a list of email addresses for Bret's host servers so that I could "help" with her systematic attempts to get his websites shut down. I didn't bother. Zumaya also asked me for other websites or methods she could use to get hold of David Bret's personal details. Of course, she also described the content of the Agenti emails in very great detail and was "excited" about the new development. She did not try to contain her anger towards Bret and used several very inflammatory terms when referring to him. She was very focused on her plan to "destroy" Bret for what he had said about her "dear father".

I only sent her a couple of emails back (I don't like obsessive people) in which I said I thought that the blog was very dodgy as it was getting into legally murky areas. She didn't listen, of course, and then posted the alleged content of the Agenti emails and that was the point where I refused to have any further contact with her and Pickford.

ANY of this refreshing your selectively patchy memory yet???

I have been asked to post copies of the emails. I'm not falling for that! She claims to have kept every single email she has sent in the last 18 months or so. How about she checks her own "beautifully researched and impeccably referenced" email logs and then go bitch to someone who hasn't yet heard the same old whining speech for the millionth time....

You can deny it all you want but we both know what you said. Woman up and finally acknowledge your actions instead of hiding behind your "wronged little girl" persona.

Your life will be so much better if you finally admit that you have issues with the truth and seek psychological help with your demons...

Jeffree Star - Beauty Killer

2011-08-20T16:02:00.000+01:00

To Evelyn Zumaya

2011-08-20T15:23:00.004+01:00

You are the most hideous, evil, ugly-souled person I have ever had the misfortune of receiving an email from.

You sit there on your shitty little blog, spamming google searches with your mindless drivel. You constantly play the victim but you are a scheming bitter old woman, taking out your frustrations and failures on everyone else.

Why don't you tell everyone about those emails you sent me, requesting I help you "get" David Bret by furnishing you with his home address? Or how about how you admitted you would do anything to "destroy him"?

You mock me for suffering from depression. I bet you mock the disabled Vietnam Vets down on Skid Row too. How about poking fun at the mothers of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome victims? People like you are absolute scum. You should rot in prison for the suffering you inflict.

You are vile. You are hated. You play innocent but everyone sees you for what you are. That "email" you posted was not written by a native Italian-speaker. Poor sentence construction gave it away immediately. Another one of your creations? I think so.

Crazy imagination, you have there.

You need psychological help if you think your behaviour is "normal".

What sort of person wages a hate campaign against people that review their books? What sort of person reviews their own books? What sort of person calls themselves all that crap that you spouted?

I broke off all contact with you when you started taking things too far on that blog of yours. You associated David Bret's name with paedophilia, rape, domestic violence. You were calculating in your actions, thinking that you could bring him down with your claims. I have always believed YOU sent those "Agenti" emails. It was all too convenient when you suddenly started banging on about them to me but Hala mentioned nothing. Almost like you were trying to convince people of their authenticity.

I actually laid off your awful book for a while because, as I said at the time, it was just too bad to read. You were not intelligent enough to realise that if you stopped attacking me, I would not review your shit book any more. You just had to keep sniping at me, didn't you. Affairs Valentino is the worst-written book ever published. I will make sure everyone knows that. Hell, you can't BUY IT any more because it was so shit.

You constantly try to bring me down with your vicious attacks. Hoping I will kill myself? Would that finally make you happy? Another victory in you twisted little game? You attack all Valentino fans that do not go along with your schemes. You deserve to suffer for every evil you have done throughout your life. Does Hala Pickford even know how you were forwarding her emails to one of the "cultists" whenever she ranted about them to you? You are responsible for a lot of her problems now and you claim to be her friend. Shame on you.

How anyone could ever have liked, let alone loved, you is beyond me. You poison every life you touch. You take pleasure in the misery of others; that is why you keep Hala close. Seeing what she is going through must give you a real buzz.

I hope you die alone and in horrible pain, thinking of all of your terrible actions.

And don't use this as yet another chance to play the victim. You created all of this with your lies and manipulations. No amount of deleting posts and threats of lawsuits will hide what you have done now.

You have finally shown your true colours.

Affairs Valentino - A Review (Part 8)

2011-08-19T09:19:00.003+01:00

Thought I would give this another go. At least with the formatting being as horribly poor as it is, it does not take long to read a chapter...

Best Friend and Manager - So we have now jumped to 1930. Know when I said that it read like a 3rd rate romance novel?

Look, if Zumaya wants to write fiction, that is fine. I am sure she could write a great little piece for the Peoples Friend but to write a "biography" in this style is doing a terrible disservice to the subject. Then again, we have already seen that she just does not care....

We start with an episode that has no references to back it up. What is the source for the discussion between the maid and the "stranger"? How do we know exactly what the maid did and how she spoke?

Also, is Zumaya suggesting the made is stupid by the way she talked? Or was she trying to suggest the maid was African-American? She is on VERY dangerous ground here...

Again, more very precise detail about what Ullman was thinking but where is the source?

The notes are in the wrong order at this point, by the way. They are jumping all over the place, much like the entire text, really.

An entire block of conversation here. Was this copied verbatim from the memoirs? This is not made clear. If it was not then it was, of course, a complete invention.

There is no source cited for Ullman thinking about "failing banks" and TB. What is the source? I mean, it is very dodgy to state someone was thinking something specific at any given point without evidence, is it not?

Page 113 - I don't know about anyone else but I get the feeling that Zumaya is throwing in information purely because she knows it and is kind of showing off (ie, "I have this flying donkey. You can't see it but I will tell you every last detail about it"...).

Zumaya really does hate Alberto, doesn't she? I mean, she does not even try to hide it. Sickeningly poor "journalism".

Oh I get it now! Zumaya sees herself as a modern-day George Ullman! The way he had to defend himself against Alberto is the same (she believes) as her defending herself against David Bret! They are kindred spirits, fighting to defend their honour and completely ignoring all of the questionable things they have done themselves! In truth, Zumaya needs Bret in order to keep up her little scheme. Without him, she is less than nothing; an "author" with a book that cannot be purchased because even online retailers view it as too bad to be sold though their outlets. Pathetic.

Ullman has a lot of enemies, doesn't he... I wonder if he was a supercilious loud-mouth with an over-zealous imagination too...

Quick note to say poor grammar/punctuation but we don't expect anything better by now anyway...

Zumaya clearly knows nothing about Buster Keaton so should not be writing about him. She cites a source but the claims she makes are not on that website.

So we have the interactions between Ullman and Schenck. Did Zumaya have to write them in such a boring way "This happened and then this happened and then this happened....". Wow.

Still jumping all over the place... It isn't even quaint any more.

Huh. So Alberto liked his lawsuits as much as Zumaya claims to.

Anyone else noticed that? She's made all these legal threats to Bret over the last year but nothing has come of it.

Oh more unsubstantiated claims... Is this getting repetitive for anyone else? I still cannot understand how Zumaya's proof-reader did such an awful job. I do hope Zumaya never paid them. In fact, I hope she sues them! Ha!

Ugh. Jumping YET AGAIN. "I have all this shit to share so I will use the most tenuous of links to throw it in".

My word, there is a lot of unnecessary waffle in this chapter. I really am quite bored with it.

It may be several weeks before I attempt to tackle another chapter...

Reed.co.uk

2011-08-17T09:55:00.002+01:00

I still get a lot of job emails, largely because I have not bothered to unsubscribe from various mailing lists. I get this one once a week right now -

See a problem with it? It isn't actually offering any jobs I could apply for because I have none of those qualifications. They know this because they have my CV. Therefore, the expectation is that I will PAY to do these courses in order to stand a chance of getting one of these jobs.

Will I fuck!

This is just another example of people taking advantage of desperate jobseekers.

There are plenty of jobs available that would not involving me having to retrain. It also shows that Reed holds no value in formal higher education (ie, your two Masters degrees and extensive customer service experience is not relevant so give us some money and do our shitty course instead!).

Bollocks to that.

The Cozy Powell Project (Update 5)

2011-08-14T16:41:00.002+01:00

Still doing a lot of background work. Did you know Cozy's adoptive mother was 90 when she passed away? That's a pretty good run...

Got some documents on the way plus forming basic ideas re structure, etc. I really can't see me writing much until my exams are done with in October but at least I am covering some basics right now.

Brings me on to this -

I found this the other day and was a little intrigued. I was wondering if the final project would be more than rehashed youtube videos and swiped google images (don't mean to be harsh but that is all the trailer is) so checked out the film maker's website. What got me is the claim that it will contain exclusive interviews with Cozy's family.

What family would that be?

I do hope it it not that idiot that claimed to be Cozy's dad after the accident...

I remain open-minded but sceptical...

Life in a call centre, Part 23

2011-08-14T08:15:00.003+01:00

I don't like all this positive bollocks so time to start bitching again!

This is the post you have all been waiting for... My rant against my former manager!

Oh I do like an early morning rant...

I don't even know where to start! Well, my manager was a really devoted grandmother. She had loads of photos of her dear little granddaughter all over the place and would always tell you how wonderful she was. What she failed to mention was that she refused to have any contact with the child until a DNA test had been carried out when she was 6 months old to prove paternity as she hated the mother so much, even though the mother was MARRIED to her darling son!

Her son! Steroid-addicted, tiny-penised fuckwit. It isn't his fault though... She was your typical bad mother. She raised him alone for a while because her first husband (his father) fucked off because she was so difficult to live with. Even when he was 15, she would stand over him while he brushed his teeth and force him to drop his trousers in the living room every morning so that she could check he was wearing clean underwear. I personally think that is bordering on abuse.

She remarried when her son was a teen. Her new husband was an absolute arsehole. He used to beat the son whenever he answered back and would take scissors and cut through his computer cables if he found any untidiness in the house. This man, on meeting his wife's colleagues, would ask all females for naked photos. Some actually obliged! Though it was mainly that slutty one I mentioned previously... He would phone her in work upwards of 30 times a day. I would often take the calls and be asked what I was wearing... Ugh.

Oh and her and her husband? Swingers.

She also had repeated affairs on the side, including with work mates. She got so obsessed with one guy that he had to leave his job as she was becoming a danger with her stalking.

She felt the need to talk about her sex life with her various men with me. I seriously did not want to know about any of it.

She was an obsessive cleaner at home but her work station in the office was just a shit pit. She regularly lost things (like my sick note) and then blamed others. She even once lost a week's worth of time sheets and messed up our wages.

She was a gossip and would discuss every tiny little detail about you with her office friends.

She had an affair with a 19 year old lad on our team and a 17 year old girl from another team. Just thought I'd throw that in there....

She claimed to be 45 but was actually 51.

She did not wash her hands after going to the loo and then would touch your keyboard... Eww.

She was a compulsive liar and would often forget her lies, getting herself caught out regularly.

Then there was all the times she told the team the wrong incentive criteria and a lot of us lost out on around £1000 bonus a month. We ended up having to get another manager to sort that out for us.

She often took time off to accompany her husband for his cancer treatment but then he would call us to ask where she was...

She was a really Johnny Two-Sheds. Hate that.

This one is good... She would tell us that she was a top seller who used her incentive money when she was on the phones to pay for her mortgage and various extensions. Then I got talking to her old team members... She was nothing better than a mediocre seller and daddy paid for everything...

She was totally hated by every single person on the complaints department.

She often did overtime on the phones and I would hear her telling customers outright wrong information. If you tried to correct her, she got very defensive... "Who is the manager here?" "You but you're shit at it..."

She would say she would call customers back who had requested a manager but then not bother.

She once called a customer a "stupid little cunt" on the phone. That one went right to the CEO and she still got away with it.

She had no concept of motivation and would just belittle everyone.

2 hours a day. That's how long she spent in the loos every day, doing her hair.

Worst driver ever.

She personally requested one guy be fired after he took a week off firstly because his dad had died and then (two days later) his girlfriend lost their baby. The guy had a breakdown.

She lied on disciplinary investigations.

I often had things go missing so started locking things away in the drawer. She then forced my drawer open while I was on annual leave and stole all my stuff.

She... well, she was a shitbag. Get it?

I will probably have to do another entry on her when the rage has subsided a little....

David Bowie - Imagine

2011-08-12T10:43:00.001+01:00

RIP Dave Dilloway

2011-08-12T09:18:00.001+01:00

RIP Jani Lane

2011-08-12T07:38:00.002+01:00

Queen and Paul Rodgers - Imagine

2011-08-11T10:05:00.001+01:00

Life in a call centre, Part 22

2011-08-10T23:55:00.002+01:00

Words cannot describe how happy I am in my new job. It is still a call centre but there is no stress at all. Whereas my commute to work previously was 2 hours and my journey home an hour, now it is 15 minutes in and I am home literally 12 minutes after I finish my shift. I don't come home worrying about horrible things that have been done. My manager isn't a complete psychopath. Perfect.

Quick story.

At another call centre, a lad had a real screamer on the line. After a while, the customer demanded a manager. The lad put the customer on hold, called the local pizza place, asked for a manager and then transferred the customer through.

He was fired.

I bet it was worth it...

Elf - Imagine

2011-08-10T12:24:00.001+01:00

Wishing all the best to Jon Lord

2011-08-10T08:08:00.002+01:00

Riots

2011-08-09T10:37:00.002+01:00

I got home from work at about 11pm last night and just stared at the TV feeling nothing but total devastation.

The riots started in London at the weekend. The official story initially was that people were protesting the police shooting of Mark Duggan on Thursday. Shall we start there? Yes. Mark Duggan was a drug dealer. He pulled a gun on armed police. He was shot and killed.

He is not a martyr. He was a dangerous criminal that fed on the misery of others. The community should be happy that he has been removed.

Instead, youngsters took to the streets, burning and looting as they went. And I mean youngsters. 13, 14, 15 year olds.

There were images of a woman trying on shoes before she took them from a sports store. This is not looting; this is basic theft. If you loot in a riot, you take what you need; during the LA Riots in 1992, there were many stories of people looting water and toilet paper from stores because that is what they actually needed. No one needs an HD ready flat screen TV or 30 iPhones...

One teenage girl handed out scarves and told looters to cover their faces. There was a kid with a megaphone, organising his gang.

They have burned down historical buildings, businesses, homes.

They beat a young Asian man (he looked like a student) and then one of the rioters helped him to his feet before stealing his wallet.

Rioters snatched a baby, purely to traumatise the mother.

They have badly injured police officers who are only trying to do their jobs.

Are you feeling proud to be human yet?

Last night, the rioting spread to Birmingham and Bristol with varying reports coming out of Manchester, Liverpool and even Cardiff.

I was unable to sleep last night due to the police helicopters circling above my neighbourhood in Newport.

When my mother went to feed my sister's cats in town yesterday evening, a gang of 10 - 12 teenagers tried to stop her car. She locked the doors and put her foot down. And this is in quite a well-off part of the city.

They say on the news that this is a political protest, these kids are campaigning against the lack of socio-economic progressions available to them.

Utter bollocks.

These kids don't give a shit about any of that. How is stealing trainers and burning down the properties of independent shop keepers fighting the system?

This is pure, unadulterated thuggery. There are Facebook groups that are calling for violence in other cities. Why have Facebook not handed over the details of every group member to the police yet?

There is a growing underclass in Britain of people who choose not to be a part of society. They like living off the state or subsisting on petty crime. Even if they were given the chance to take the best available jobs, they would rather just rob and harm others.

Bring in the army. Bring in the water cannons. All rioters should get a minimum of 10 years in prison. At least then they will be adults by the time they are out and they may have actually learned a trade inside. The parents of these rioting teenagers should also be given prison sentences. You should all know where your kids are at night. You don't? You're failing as a parent.

It is ordinary people that are going out to clean up the cities today. You can find out where the nearest meet-up point is on Twitter.

Stop hurting each other.

You will never achieve anything this way.

Life in a call centre, Part 21

2011-08-09T10:31:00.002+01:00

Only a short entry today as there are other issues I need to be addressing...

Yesterday was my first day at a new call centre. OK, I am in a completely different role to before but the attitude is totally different. It is actually fun and the people are friendly; there is no constant battle for dominance and everyone helps out everyone else.

There has also clearly been a lot more time, money, and consideration put into the well-being of the call centre staff than at my last place...

Give me a few weeks, mind...

Life in a call centre, Part 20

2011-08-07T22:13:00.003+01:00

Life in a call centre, Part 19

2011-08-07T21:22:00.003+01:00

Oh-ho-ho-ho!

I sent a link to this series to one of my former work-mates (one of the few that was not getting up to anything shameful at the office... that I know about!). She reminded me of a few people and events that I had entirely forgotten...

Her own story is the best... She was a really polite call handler but like the rest of us, she had her moments... She had a man on the phone that she was trying to sell something to but he hung up on her so, like anyone else who had targets to hit, she shouted across to a colleague "this fucking wanker hung up on me!" Yup, he hadn't... She very cleverly said it was a crossed line and got away with it!!!

There was this lad... I don't know how I forgot him! We'll call him John... He was hilarious but sometimes not very bright in his actions. On his first day, he was in training with his new team when this hot blonde walked in. He hauled her onto his lap and grabbed her arse. Of course, she was his new manager... He miss-sold one product for 6 months by telling customers it was £16 instead of £40. It took them that long to find out why he was so successful with this one product and actually bother to listen to his calls. He had to call every single person back and check they were happy to pay the higher price that he had actually charged them. Then he hooked up with this girl... The best thing about call centres is that NOTHING IS SACRED. They were getting down to it at her place when she whipped her box of tricks from under her bed and shoved a dildo up his arse! No word on how he felt about this... I kinda feel dirty that no one told me this at the time though!!! When he left, he managed to take no calls for his last week. That was pretty impressive...

Moving on, there were these three girls that I just did not like (one of them is the psycho liar I have blogged about before). They used to sit there, painting each others' nails whilst on calls. They even once dyed the one girl's hair while she was on the phone! One of these girls was a larger lass so used to hide it by wearing jeans that were two sizes too small... Yeah, because that always works... Then she discovered alli and lost the weight. Then she missed carbs... Made me giggle to watch her yo-yo...

One lad left a customer on hold for 45 minutes while he went to lunch to save losing a sale!

Another girl was sacked for stealing legal documents (I never even knew about this one!). So that's three we now know of.

A lovely young lady told a customer to "shut the fuck up and let me speak!" Wow. Just wow!

Then there was "Anthony". He was the top seller on the floor so got away with so much shit. He once refused business to a customer because he did not like the customer's attitude! He used to have at least three calls a day taken over by a manager due to the way he spoke to them... I had three taken over my entire time I was there... He would be so rude to everyone and no one dared say anything to him.

And these adventures are all just from one team! Well, aside from the incidents involving that beast from my team...

Thanks to L for the info! Keep it coming!

Life in a call centre, Part 18

2011-08-07T12:03:00.002+01:00

This pains me as a feminist to say this but I believe the reason I never got along with my line manager was because she was a middle-aged grandmother on her second unhappy marriage while I was a 20-something graduate with no man or child holding me down...

I always got the impression that there was an anti-woman feel in the office. While we had quite a few female line managers, all of the top management positions were filled by men. All of the promotions in my time (with the exception of one) went to my male colleagues.

There were not actually that many men working at the call centre and I think that is the cause of many of the issues...

Now, this is completely my opinion and experience but I believe that the older female managers viewed the younger women as a threat so did everything they could to keep us all down.

There was always a bit of gossiping about me because I was in my late-20s and childless because I had never married and had been spiteful by choosing to go to university rather than dedicating my life to reproducing...

My manager looked down on me because at my age she was divorced from her first husband and raising her only child alone (he'd fucked off abroad because he hated her so much... don't blame him; bet the kid would have gone with him if he had been given the choice...). Of course, she hated all graduates anyway...

Any time two women became good friends, there was always a campaign to get them apart again. Very odd for that kind of environment.

Just my opinion but yeah... Keep us down because - God forbid! - we may actually do a better job than some of the incompetent idiots running that company.

Life in a call centre, Part 17

2011-08-07T11:50:00.004+01:00

This series will be coming less regular from tomorrow when I return to full time work. I'll try to leave you with something good, though.

Today, I thought I would talk a little more about how call centre life affects your health. I have a long-standing back injury, occasional asthma, and FMF so sometimes I am unable to work.

The response by my manager on behalf of the company?

Repeatedly attempted to fire me.

Wankers.

I have been left partially deaf in my right ear due to their negligence and still suffer a lot of pain from the injury I sustained because my manager refused to acknowledge I should not have been on the phones that day...

Sam, who was bi-polar, needed regular time off for her condition (she was reacting badly to her medication and was suicidal) but she was forced to leave.

One girl had very bad asthma but was not allowed any time off with it through fear of losing her job. Another had a very public meltdown when she was not allowed a day off when she had exceptionally bad headaches; she was escorted from the premisses and has not worked since. Kay resigned after suffering a miscarriage in work and they would not let her have a few days off to come to terms with it.

The thing is, all these incidents were cases where we just needed a few days off to get ourselves sorted out but that was just not allowed.

Company policy is you were all treated the same, even if you had a long-standing medical condition.

It kinda sucked when we would see what others would get away with though.

One of my friends had been on customer services but was struggling with the selling aspect so went to the finance department. After a while, they decided she was needed back on customer services because we were so busy. She immediately claimed she felt unwell and went home. She was promptly signed off on sick leave with "stress". She told me she had faked the whole thing but she got 3 months off and then did not have to return to customer services afterwards.

No one questioned her but if you said you were having a heavy period, they wanted proof...

Life in a call centre, Part 16

2011-08-06T21:10:00.005+01:00

I never meant to get people fired...

I really didn't.

I just think people should always be honest and should not take the piss all the time.

We had this guy on our team. I absolutely adored him. He would tell me how beautiful I looked every day and would always notice when I changed something about my appearance. He was gay, of course. He used to like going out to the clubs in Bristol and then stagger in to work the next morning on no sleep, having consumed nothing but carbon dioxide...

We thought he was entertaining so we all made excuses for him. Then he started taking things a little too far. He kept claiming his mother was ill and started taking a lot of time off, all the while posting on Facebook that he was suffering from the night before far too much to go work. Well, after a week of this, I was at my desk, chatting with one of the lads and I mentioned that he had said this on Facebook and I made some joke about it, not realising the head of the department was standing behind me. Within an hour, his contract was terminated, based purely on my comment. I was livid that they did that. At least the guy was able to go on and get a much better job.

Then there was that kid. I actually sat with him quite a bit when he started (more experienced members of staff would do that to help newbies) so we got on quite well. We were also Facebook friends. I had been off work for a while - using up annual leave, I think - and he'd said on Facebook that he was quitting as he'd had enough. The next day, I was back in work and happened to be talking to his manager who was a good friend of mine and I joked that he'd had a hissy fit and asked what had happened. She said she was not aware of anything and, as she was not on Facebook, asked to borrow my phone to see what he had said. I handed it over without thinking. What I did not know was that after his initial comment, he had gone on to have a big conversation with two colleagues about what a bitch his manager was and how he wanted her to die, etc. I genuinely had no idea. She was devastated as she thought they were OK. I felt so bad that I ended up buying her a box of chocolates... He was put through the grievance process and fired. He brought it all upon himself but again it was my casual comment that started the whole process...

We had this lad on our team who spent all day perving on girls. He was incompetent and we all knew it but my manager kept forcing me to lodge formal complaints every time a customer was not happy with his behaviour. Normally you would just have a quiet word with one of your own team. He was fired based on the complaints lodged by myself and others.

Final one was a classic. I hated this guy. He fancied me but he was weird and ugly and constantly lied. Hell, he told me he was older than me when he was actually two years younger. What is the point of that? Anyway, he hated the job and kept claiming he was being offered jobs elsewhere but then never actually left. Then he started taking a lot of time off. One evening, we were the last two left on our team and he told me he wanted the next day off so he could go play bowls as he was the team captain. I said he had no chance and would have to suck it up as paying the bills has to be more important than casual hobbies sometimes... He agreed and the next morning, we met in the car park of the call centre. He started crying (or trying to) and claimed his niece had had an accident and he needed to go with her to the hospital. I told him to tell a manager and go which he did. When the team all arrived, I mentioned this incident and said I thought he was lying to me (I can tell when a man is lying... years of experience...). Then one of the lads passed me his iPhone. There was a full-on text conversation between the two of them in which the guy asked for advice on how to get the day off as he had a job interview. The lad in work said rather than calling in sick to make the effort to come in and then claim a close relative had been involved in an accident...!!! We were all annoyed about that. If you wanna screw the system, that's fine but do not lie to your mates about it... I mentioned it to a manager-friend of mine and he was gone within a week.

Goes to show ya 1. be careful what you say in jest and 2. don't be totally stupid when trying to fight against your employer as you will (nearly) always be caught out...

Life in a call centre, Part 15

2011-08-06T20:59:00.004+01:00

As I mentioned previously, I made £3k less last year than the year before. I was not the only one with this issue so many of us took second (or third) jobs.

It was stated in our contracts that anyone taking on other work would need permission from their line manager. I assume most did not even ask...

When I started, I was running my own business which I maintained until April 2009. I had declared it at the start so there were no problems. When I decided to do voluntary work with the police force, however, my repeated requests were never put forward so my external work was never approved. Therefore, I was not able to take the job (I believe this was because it would have helped me in my chosen career in criminology and they wanted to keep me at the call centre for as long as possible).

My jobs were boring, though...

C = bouncer

K = stripper

S = stripper

T = phone sex line operative

M = drug dealer

G = sold the same product that we sold but privately

E = Ann Summers rep who brought her samples to the call centre with her every day

Then there were the slightly more dull supermarket assistants, translators, babysitters, taxi drivers...

Some of these were a real conflict of interest but they either were not declared or no one cared. None of these people were discreet so others must have known...

As always, different standards, depending on how much your manager liked you...

Life in a call centre, Part 14

2011-08-06T18:05:00.002+01:00

Lawsuits abound.

In my time, I saw 8 of my colleagues be fired and then sue the company; 6 won significant damages and one got her job back.

You would think they would have learned...

Every single case (except the woman who got her job back) involved injury sustained at work or emotional issues; falling down the stairs, falling on a wet floor, tripping over bags left in the way, faulty chairs dumping people on the floor...

You get the idea.

The biggest payout was over £100,000 due to what the company put a woman through after her son died and she suffered a breakdown.

As for the one that got her job back? She had asked her manager a question and she was advised to take the matter higher so she asked the same question of a senior manager. That senior manager forwarded the question to another senior manager who asked how serious this person should be taken. The first senior manager responded that she was "some Newport council estate scum. She can barely think without assistance" and cleverly copied in this women's line manager. The line manager then forwarded the email straight on to the original women (she had not read it and assumed it was just misdirected). When this woman was understandably upset, she made a complaint and was promptly dismissed. She took it as far as she could and got her job back. The senior manager involved was forced to apologise to both this woman and her husband.

She told me it was hilarious to watch him suffer.

Good on her

Life in a call centre, Part 13

2011-08-06T17:55:00.002+01:00

When you work in a call centre, you generally have access to the financial information of customers. You are certainly exposed to private information and have to undergo training to fully understand what is acceptable practice when dealing with sensitive data.

So why were there so many thieves in our office?

I've mentioned the guy that stole legal documents. He wasn't the last one. We were able to issue certain documents (once we had clearance) to customers if they were needed in a hurry. We had an entire file of these blank documents disappear. Someone had been flogging them to their mates down the pub.

We used to have a birthday club on our team. We stopped it due to the number of times the birthday money was stolen.

The managers had their Christmas party fund money stolen (£800). That was taken from a locked drawer.

One manager (a single mother) had her purse stolen out of her handbag while she was away from her desk helping someone. It could only be one of her own team that did it.

Numerous mobile phones went missing over the years.

One person downloaded a load of customer address and date of birth details onto their iPhone and just walked out of the building with it.

Another posted customer credit card numbers on Facebook.

It was actually very rare for anything to be seen to be done about this kind of behaviour, however. Especially considering what the FSA would do if they found out...

I was not going to post this...

2011-08-06T08:13:00.007+01:00

...largely because I don't like giving attention to people who are so desperate for it...

However, I think I need to make some things clear.

So, because I did not like a book, Hala Pickford has publicly mocked me for suffering from depression.

So, because I did not like a book, Evelyn Zumaya has posted images making fun of my devout veganism; images that could actually be interpreted as a threat.

So, because I did not like a book, Evelyn Zumaya has decided I, as a well-educated (and I mean real education, not crap you make up to pretend your book is actually good) woman, am not able to think for myself and I must be being controlled by David Bret.

So, because I did not like a book, I have had my personal details posted all over the internet.

So, because I did not like a book, Evelyn Zumaya has taken to referencing my following of Buddhist teachings as a negative thing.

I don't read David Bret's blogs. I don't read Zumaya's blogs (as I said, I stopped after she was dismissive about all of the factual, grammatical, and spelling errors in the book). The only one I occasionally dip into is the Boycott Hala Pickford blog because, well, it's quite funny! Yes, David Bret and I resolved our differences - differences that were largely caused by Hala Pickford feeding me false information. Such a story-teller, that one! I don't have any further conversations with him, though. All of my information comes from a Rudolph Valentino fan who is as offended as I am that other Rudy fans feel the need to behave like such utter fools.

To say that Bret is controlling me is just laughable. This just shows the negative attitude Zumaya has towards women, the same attitude that thoroughly poisons her writings.

After-all, Valentino isn't allowed to be gay or bisexual but he isn't allowed to like women either. Is that not the impression everyone else is getting from her book?

I guess I am lucky I am not a lesbian or I would really feel her wrath! (See previous reviews for examples of anti-lesbian comments made by Zumaya in her text).

Yes, I am a vegan. Yes, I follow Buddhist teachings because I believe they are most logical. Yes, I suffer from depression (my battles with that are well-documented on here as I believe being honest about things will help others... kinda like my honest review of Affairs Valentino is helping others not waste money on it until it is greatly improved). What next? Making fun of me because I have tattoos? How about because I am British? Maybe even because I am a Jew? I bet she could really have a field day on that one!

To have Zumaya deny that my details have been posted all over the place when I have screen caps and it is being investigated by the police is just hysterical! I find it funny that after I stated that initially on here, a lot of the information was removed before I had chance to make formal complaints. Denying it does not change the facts. You know, you get people who deny the Holocaust. Does that make any of it less real?

I had a Valentino fan apologise to me yesterday for what I am being subjected to by these two women. Again, I did not like a book so started posting honest reviews (on here only; I am yet to be able to form a complete view to post a more truncated review elsewhere). It could be any number of Valentino fans being harassed now but all of the others are too scared to review the book. Either that or it really has not sold that many copies...

You know what is really ironic?

When this whole war started between Zumaya and Bret, she kept insisting all she wanted him to do was address issues she had found in his work (ie, what the sources were, etc). She then claimed he went crazy on her and refused to respond, instead just attacking her.

Sound familiar?

I merely want Zumaya to address certain issues that have been raised about her book -

Why are there so many spelling mistakes?

Why are there so many grammatical errors?

Why are there so many glaringly obvious factual errors?

Why are there supporting sources for some things but not other (much more important) statements?

Why are the notes so jumbled?

Why is the main selling-point of the book that is constantly raised the fact that it has 60 pages of notes when in reality it only has 43 pages of notes?

Why is it written in the style of a third-rate romance novel?

Any decent publisher will send out advanced copies of the book to be reviewed by major publications. Why did none of these publications actually review the book? I know Amazon.com withdrew the book from sale because of the slanderous introduction (and this was not the work of the "cultists"; for a book to be withdrawn, it would have to be looked over by their own legal department. They would not just go by the word of someone sending in a quick email, now would they?). Is that also the reason why no one wanted to review it? I mean, not being harsh but who gives a fuck if a blogger gives a book a bad review? None of us are that influential. But should the literary critic of the LA Times comment either way, that would make a difference.

I could go on...

Zumaya raised issues about Bret's work and got attacked. I raised issues about Zumaya's work and got attacked. Difference is I never called her a rapist or a child molester. So who is really the bad person here?

Say what you will about Hala Pickford but when there were issues with the Kindle version of the Rambova reprint, she had the sense to withdraw it from sale. She actually LISTENED to what was said. That's why I still think it is a shame that she has allowed herself to be dragged down by Zumaya.

Again, I am not reading her blog (I was sent screen caps of the bits attacking me) and I don't intend on starting now; all she seems to be doing is stating the same things over and over in the hope that Google will bump these statements up in their search results... yeah, kinda like keyword spamming. Therefore I do not care what lies and abuse she posts about me next. Surely Evelyn Zumaya is too old to be playing kids though, yes? I mean, she is the one that is making herself look bad.

As I said previously, I will continue to review the book (when I can be bothered). I will not be bullied into silence by an author who lacks the literary skills to answer a few - repeatedly asked - questions.

Oh and one final thing... I choose to be known online as Irezumi Muzan. I do not share my real name very often (the reasons for this are well-documented on my blog but I guess certain people are too busy just obsessively screen capping posts about Valentino to notice anything else on here). Hala Pickford chooses to be known as Hala Pickford and Evelyn Zumaya chooses to be known as Evelyn Zumaya. Therefore, that is what I call them (except when I am talking about book authors/publishers specifically and then it is considered acceptable to use last name only or when I am talking about anti-lesbian comments and then FUCKWIT is the common term applied). It shows a real lack of basic manners, respect, common decency, hell, even adultness to refuse to use the name someone is known by and make up new - derogatory - names.

Do we expect anything less of these people know, though?

Beautiful Men, Part 19 - Neil Peart

2011-08-05T18:22:00.004+01:00

September 12 1952 -

Ah, Neil. Quite simply the best LIVING drummer. Cozy's still my all-time favourite but I have covered that before...

Incredibly talented. Not only is he a great drummer but he writes all of Rush's lyrics. He's also written several very good books. OK, they are a little hard-going at times but I can live with that.

Neil has that kind of tragic air because of what happened to his common-law wife and first-born daughter. Now married with a young baby girl, he still has that... I dunno... it is very hard to explain. Neil is very open with his experiences through his writings but does not like to be bothered by fans.

I met him once. Didn't bother him...

Life in a call centre, Part 12

2011-08-05T17:43:00.002+01:00

Bit late with today's entry, sorry. It is a long boring story that I wont bother you with right now...

I had many, many issues with my line manager and I will eventually go into them in more detail but I will cover a little annoyance of mine now.

My manager would have "team assistants". It was not official but basically if you had a skill she could exploit, she would use you. I was very organised so I was put in charge of making sure the scripts were up to date and handing out the day's memos and other such fun stuff. She did once ask me to file the end of year reports in everyone's permanent record folders... that was kinda above what I was actually allowed to do as I was not supposed to have access to that kind of information. She was a lazy cow though.

Other people had other jobs. At one point, she decided she did not like the way I talked (I was "too posh") so she asked another team member to talk to me and try to persuade me to sound a bit more common, I assume. We had a good laugh about that and I continued to talk the way I had been raised to.

Then there was the time she told a team member to persuade us all to start selling a certain product. We were not targeted to sell it so we didn't bother; we already had enough targets. This poor person was practically begging us to introduce this item on every call but it was not a success...

She used to discuss our permanent records with one guy on the team so that she could mock those that were struggling with stuff. That one went to the top management as a dispute.

There were more but any further would involve explaining the inner-workings of the company and I cannot be bothered right now.

Basically, she was a terrible manager. She should have been doing her own photocopying and raising any issues she had with the team direct instead of doing all this gossiping. Nothing would make me happier than seeing the bitch fired.

***

Just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone that is reading the current series. Nothing makes me happier than people contacting me to say they really relate to what I am saying. At least it was not just us going through this... It is proving to be much more popular than I ever imagined so cheers!

Life in a call centre, Part 11

2011-08-04T11:01:00.004+01:00

What to cover today? Hmm... I actually have a huge list of themes that I am gradually working my way through.

How about something positive today? Well... positive for me but not necessarily for everyone else involved...

I am sorry to say that working in a call centre really brought out my childish side. But maybe that was down to my team...

There was this one woman. "Kirsty". Grossly overweight, very simple, not very pleasant personality... She would kind of space out and stare at people with her mouth open. I started off by telling everyone that she fancied our team coach (in my defence, she actually did). He, to protect himself, attached himself to me as he knew I could kick her ass if required... Me and him ended up being really good mates. We were each other's gossip source...

Then there was "Rob". We called him Ginga for, well, obvious reasons. He was cool with that so it was not discrimination. He fancied my best mate but she only flirted with him to make her boyfriend (the one that knocked her up and then dumped her) jealous.

Kay and I were utter shit stirrers... It started off really simple; we told Kirsty that Ginga was really sad and lonely and struggled to make friends. She decided to go out of her way to make him feel wanted. That was easier than we thought. Then I told him that Kirsty had a thing for him. He told me to fuck off. I was like, "Yeah, she totally likes you! I'll let you into a little secret... when she fancies someone really bad, she stares at them open-mouthed...". Didn't take long... He took to hiding at every opportunity. Of course, I told my buddy the team coach who went up to Ginga and yelled "Well done, my son! Get in there!" He also got told to fuck off.

I miss Ginga. He was fired after stealing legal documents from the office...

A few of us knew how to do that control+alt+arrow thing so would regularly do it whenever people left their screens unlocked (FSA required we locked our screens if we ever left our desks). You'd get panicked yells as people came back from a smoke and wouldn't know how to correct what we had done. The best was the one girl who, ever practical, just turned her monitor upside down and carried on working...

I once threw Kay's boyfriend in a recycling bin because he was staring at her (actually, he was blocking my way and I was in a hurry to get out of the office and down the pub). He stared at me like a little hurt bunny... It was HILARIOUS!

Hiding wallets and phones... You left it out, we'd move it. That's fair! The number of people we made cry with that one...

I met "Karl". He joined about 18 months ago and was a welcome addition to the team because 1. I finally had someone older than me on there and 2. he was an evil little bastard.

We had to use these hard back books for notes that would then be checked by the FSA. I am sure they enjoyed checking ours... At every opportunity, Karl and I would sneek over and make artistic additions to other peoples books. The best was the rather large penis Karl drew in one guy's book and then our manager found... I got Karl with that one repeatedly too. I also used to write names in the books and draw hearts around them (worked best with two males... though saying that, two thirds of the men at the company were gay. I was upset that we didn't have a gay guy for ages and then we finally got one... yay! He got fired though...).

It was also down to Karl that the Gok Wan project started... Any unattended computers would have the background image changed to Gok Wan. Simple enough. Worked best when the victim was off searching for a manager to look at a policy for them...

Karl also got in a bit of trouble. He thought nothing of calling you a cunt to your face but that was the kind of guy he was so we all just got on with it. Then this loud-mouth smelly skank decided she did not like him. He had been talking to another guy and said something along the lines of "my cock is really itching today. Wish I hadn't been down City Road last night...". She complained that he was being offensive. Karl, not knowing when to shut up yelled "Because I said cock? Alright then; PENIS, DICK, MEMBER, FLESH!" She really freaked then. Karl was dragged into an office and her (male) manager was ordered to talk to him. The manager laughed and agreed that she was an overly sensitive twat and wished she'd just quit. She was transferred to a new department... but only after I started making life a little difficult for her for trying to fuck with one of my team...

Karl used to be quite trusting. One day, I asked to borrow his phone as mine was flat (it was the day I had spent nearly 3 hours stuck on a train just outside Newport and had tweeted the entire incident). He handed it straight over and I went off to call my sister in the corridor. After I was done, I decided too have a little fun... I picked a random name in his stored contacts (a man) and texted "I want you balls deep inside of me". I then deleted the text so Karl would not find out til later. I didn't bloody know it was his drug dealer...!

I have told this one before but it still makes me laugh - I once "earthquake-proofed" someone's desk with blu-tak. Took him half an hour to work out why his mouse would not move...

The fax... I am kinda sorry but also glad to say this was not the work of me. One woman was sending a fax to an external company we worked with (not any more! Ties were severed just after this...). She had written out the fax and was at the machine but there was a queue. The guy in front of her kindly said he would send it for her. She went back to her desk and when he got to the front, he sent it... but not before he drew a penis ejaculating all over the name of the recipient. The external company made a formal complaint the the poor girl was facing being fired when the guy owned up and resigned to save her job. Difference between me and him is I would not have owned up.

Of course, we were not the only call centre with dirty little secrets... You tend to find that call centre staff drift between the main core of large companies (a lot are based in Cardiff) so we would always hear the gossip.

Think directory enquiries... with big bushy facial hair... One guy was fired for masturbating at his desk whilst on the phone. "I'll just get that number for you naaargh!"

Think telephone/TV/broadband company that I have never worked for... One lad convinced a woman to fake an orgasm on the phone as he needed "to hear the different pitches to establish exactly what range is not working on your phone". She did it. He became an office legend. His manager was still laughing when he fired him.

So when you call to complain about your utility provider, just think what the person you are speaking to will be up to...

Life in a call centre, Part 10

2011-08-03T17:22:00.004+01:00

I have calmed down a little now (beer is in the freezer) so I can now post what I intended to this morning...

My manager always hated me because I was not a top seller. Aside from those three months when I was the top seller and then she could not do enough for me.

My manager had the attitude of if a member of staff was struggling, she would treat them like absolute shit until they performed better. This included using the seating plan to isolate them from the rest of the team, turning her back to them in team meetings, not providing assistance when they asked for it, talking about them to practically anyone that would listen (including the cleaning staff and the admin lady from downstairs).

Unprofessional.

What my manager never realised was that if she was nice to us, we would be more likely to have an attitude slightly better than "fuck it" and we might actually start doing well. Her refusal to help those that needed it was one of the lowest things imaginable.

She pressured a lot of people into resigning or would use other excuses to get rid of them.

People think the world of her but she is a psychopath.

Anyway, this is about sales, not that decaying woodlouse.

We were in customer services but the job was so dominated by sales that service went out of the window.

When we applied, we were told that we would have to cross-sell products as appropriate. In fact, when I started, we only had to cross sell 3 other products; that was manageable and I did very well. Then other products started to be brought in... By the end, I had to cross-sell 14 different products on EVERY SINGLE CALL. The number of complaints we had from customers was incredible. The management would claim we only had to sell a few on each call but if we did, say, 6 when there were 9 products that could be sold, we were marked down for not doing our jobs.

Are they kidding me?

If you search for the customer service reviews of our company, they all complained about the cross-selling. In fact, many customers left us for it. And still the management saw nothing wrong with what was going on.

It was ridiculous. Again, we were the customer service department, not the sales department. The level of customer services provided was absolutely appalling. People would actively miss-sell and not do what they promised due to the pressure of targets. No wonder the average life-span of a call centre worker is 18 months.

I will never take out any products with them (aside from the fact they are far too expensive for me as a 30 year old woman with a thing for fast cars...) and my family wont either. Though my family have had other problems with them anyway...

We need companies that don't exploit customers as well as staff. That is not how call centres work though...

Life in a call centre, Part 9

2011-08-03T11:49:00.002+01:00

I was going to spend this entry talking about targets but there is something a little more important going on.

I left the company on 30th June. The HR manager promised me a month's pay in lieu of notice, to be paid at the end of July. End of July rolled around and I was not paid.

Since Friday, I have called the payroll department repeatedly. I keep being promised call backs that don't happen. I have just now finally got the head of the payroll department to confirm I will definitely be paid this money as a mistake was made by my line manager and she stopped the payment going on.

When will this be paid?

End of August.

What the fuck do they expect me to live on until then?

I have to pay £150 on my loan every month. If I miss a payment, I default (yeah, fuck you too HSBC). If I default, they will want £5700 off me in one go. Know what that means? Bankruptcy. After spending so many years working myself out of the debt that that worthless piece of shit got me in to, I will lose everything because my line manager hated me. That also means I wont be able to take my new job because banks don't like employing people who don't cope well with their own finances.

Add to that the minimum of £50 a month I have to pay to Barclaycard plus £400 rent and you see what I am up against. This does not even include food or travel expenses. I have £47 in my bank account. At least that will feed the dog and 3 cats for the month. I may end up dying though.

I'm suing.

Life in a call centre, Part 8

2011-08-02T21:00:00.003+01:00

As per our contracts, during an 8 hour shift we were entitled to a 45 minute lunch and 15 minutes of personal time to be taken as needed. Allegedly.

I have never smoked (never will) so I did not feel the need to run downstairs for a smoke every hour. Unlike so many others. They would regularly go over their personal allowances (and, indeed, their lunch) and I only ever saw one person get pulled up on it; the person my manager hated and really enjoyed firing...

In 4 years, I went over my personal ONCE. By one minute. I was told I had to make it up. I pointed out that I regularly took a short lunch and worked over my shift, as well as coming in early to do photocopying for the team, and it was never mentioned again.

One guy took the rule that we could take our personal whenever we wanted literally; he would take all of it in one go at the start of happy hour every day. Our manager (who hated him) filed a complaint against him for it. He argued that he needed a shit at the same time every day. The complaint was dropped.

In our contracts, we were obliged to work over each shift by 15 minutes. Anything over that, we were entitled to get back. One night, I worked well over 2 hours over my shift because I was stuck on a complaint call and no manager would help me (my own manager told me to wait til she left before asking for help because she could not be bothered to get off her arse). I requested this time back and was ignored. 18 months later, I brought it up in a team meeting with one of the top managers. They said I could have my time back. I still never did get it, you know...

Again, others would just walk out dead on time or refuse to take calls for the last 5 minutes of each shift and... guess what... nothing was said about it!

Never understood how they could justify treating us all so differently...

Oh yeah...

Sales...

OK a NICE post

2011-08-02T11:07:00.004+01:00

I was doing my daily trawl of ebay last week when I came across a Monsters of Rock programme for sale. I already had this one (Rainbow headlined) but figured I would have a quick look at the listing...

It was only bloody well signed by Cozy...

And Glenn Tipton!!!
This is my 5th Cozy autograph and my 2nd Glenn one.

I got my first Cozy autograph literally days before the accident. I love it dearly. It is a little faded now but it is not one I show off anyway; it is purely for me. The rest I bought recently. As for Glenn's one? I think I picked that up when I was living in the US. My memory is still very patchy, though...

I sold all of my Motorhead autographs a few years ago because, well, y'know...

Got a few of Bruce Kulick still but I gave away all the Eric Singer ones to a young KISS fan.

More into photos anyway...

OKStupid!

2011-08-02T10:03:00.005+01:00

Yes, I have joined another dating website...

My lifetime ban from PentyOfFuckwits meant I had to go further afield for my dating entertainment. Suicide_Bride on Twitter recommended OKCupid due to the amount of "fun" she has on there with the pervs...

So it is a little different from the last one. So far, no one has yet asked me for naked photos or said classy things such as "I want be in yo azz!" In fact, there does not seem to be many perverts at all.

Aside from the guy that asked me to shove a pineapple up him.

I have had to block one person as he was really quite aggressive with me and as he lives local, I decided the attention was not necessary. I have also been openly mocking those that photograph body parts for their profile pics. It isn't a six-pack if it jiggles, mate... Other than that, I have been chatting with a couple of people who seem nice.

So why am I bothering with dating websites when I have had such struggles with them in the past? Well... I WAS hoping for some decent blogging material but that is yet to happen (pineapple man had no photo otherwise it would already be on here). In the absence of victims to troll, maybe I'll finally bag me a rock star. You never know, Glenn Tipton may trawl online dating sites during those long months spent on the road...

**Quick edit**

I've jacked it in. If I can't make people cry, it just isn't FUN.

Life in a call centre, Part 7

2011-08-02T09:18:00.002+01:00

Thanks to Lindsay for her contribution :)

I worked with this one woman for quite a while. She was always desperate to be the centre of attention; she'd even sit in places that ensured everyone would have to crowd around her, like some sort of dumpy Valley deity...

She was a story teller. Her stories sucked.

She claimed she would often commit insurance fraud (ie, wanted a new laptop to filed a false police report about it being stolen or deliberately broke her mobile to get it replaced with the latest model). I kinda thought that would be viewed as a conflict of interest by the company but she was not discreet with her stories so I know managers knew...

She claimed everyone wanted her. Yeah, wanted her to fuck off and die. Smelly bint. Yes, she was one of those that did not use toilet paper or wash her hands...

She once texted photos of herself posing in underwear to a load of out colleagues. They showed me. It was nasty.

Nasty! Christmas party, she was a little worse for wear and was also a bit hot so she took her knickers off before falling over on the dance floor, showing the world her over-used vagina... She was also all over one male manager (in front of his girlfriend) and jumped on another guy, violently knocking him to the floor and giving him a black eye. He was traumatised by the incident as he feared he would have to have sex with her...

She regularly beat up her boyfriend and was arrested for it several times. She also threw away 2 engagement rings he gave her because they were not expensive enough.

Then she shagged a really good looking guy and ruined him for us all.

She used to call her mates to hit her sales targets at the end of the month. Naughty.

She also used to mock the unmarried mothers in the office.

Then she met this bloke on the internet. She was living with him within a month. Pregnant by month two. Dumped by month three.

Karma, my friend...

Life in a call centre - a case in the media

2011-08-02T08:14:00.005+01:00

Just happened upon these articles and I thought the story fitted in rather well with what Lindsay previously said...

South Wales EchoJanuary 30, 2007
Woman claims sacking from AA was unfair

A woman was sacked by a national motoring organisation after she developed a condition which left her faint and racked with pain.

Kerry MacDonald, 27, took 72 days off sick from her job as a collections advisor with AA Insurance during one bout of illness in 2005, which saw her confined to bed, a tribunal was told.

Ms MacDonald was diagnosed with endometriosis - a painful, chronic gynaecological condition - at the age of 21, a year after she began working at the AA's Cardiff contact centre, the tribunal heard.

The hearing at Cardiff's Employment Tribunal was told Ms MacDonald, of Pengam Green, Cardiff, was sacked on the grounds of ill health in August 2005.

But her solicitor Fflur Jones said Ms MacDonald alleges the company failed to make suitable adjustments for her disability, unfairly dismissed her and discriminated against her on the grounds of her sex.

Edmund Williams, cost delivery manager with the AA,led the meeting which resulted in her dismissal.

He told the tribunal: 'Her absence had been an ongoing issue for many years.'

The tribunbal heard her condition deteriorated to the point where she was signed off work by her doctor.

It was then the AA said it had no choice but to terminate her employment, because she couldn't tell them when she might be fit for work, according to Mr Williams.

Ms Jones argued the company could have provided a computer and phone at her home so that she could continue in her job.

The hearing is expected to continue until tomorrow.

*****

South Wales EchoJanuary 31, 2007
Sacked woman was told she could reapply for her position

A young woman sacked by her employer because of ill health, was told she could reapply for her job when she was better, a tribunal has heard.

The employment tribunal in Cardiff was told Kerry MacDonald, 27, of Pengam Green, Cardiff, was sacked because of absences from work - which she says were caused by endometriosis, a painful reproductive condition - in August 2005.

The company's human resources operations manager, Paul Dollin, told the hearing it had extended an 'olive branch' to valued employee Ms MacDonald, over her dismissal, by telling her they would welcome an application from her once her condition improved.

But Fflur Jones, representing Ms MacDonald, said AA Insurance refused to acknowledge she had a disability.

Mr Dollin said that at the time it classed endometriosis as an 'underlying medical condition'.

Ms MacDonald alleges AA Insurance failed to make suitable adjustments for her disability, in allowing her to initially choose her days off, working when she was well and having time off when she was not.

Ms MacDonald was expected to give evidence this afternoon.

*****

South Wales EchoJune 19, 2007
'Fired because of women's trouble'

Lisa Jones South Wales Echo

A woman was told to enter the dates she expected to start her periods in her work's shared diary, an employment tribunal heard.

Kerry MacDonald, 27, a collections adviser with AA Insurance, was sacked in August 2005 because of her sickness absence record.

She suffered from a chronic gynaecological condition which meant she was often in severe pain, fainting and vomiting, and her condition was worse at the start of her period, leaving her bed-ridden.

The hearing heard her line manager, Chris Monk, told her to put the dates in the departmental diary.

Ms MacDonald, of Pengam Green, Cardiff, said she was also told to use her annual leave entitlement to cover those absences.

For two months, she booked time off in the run-up to the expected start of her period, but turned up for work if she felt well.

She stopped after advice from her consultant.

"They told me I had to use my annual leave," she said.

"I spoke to Chris and told him what the doctor said. It wasn't brought up again."

She also alleges another manager, Julie Brewerton, who she later discovered also suffered from endometriosis, told her she should either have a hysterectomy or have a baby to combat her condition.

Ms MacDonald says the AA, where she worked for five years, failed to make reasonable adjustments for her disability, unfairly dismissed her and discriminated against her on the grounds of her gender.

Giving evidence, Ms Macdonald said she felt pressured into returning to work before she was ready and then had to take more time off sick.

She said: "When I was dismissed I felt relieved because I didn't have the constant stress and pressure of phone calls and letters and visits, so I could recuperate at home.

"On the other hand I was upset because I really enjoyed my job."

The tribunal heard Ms MacDonald's attendance had been improving during the latter half of 2004 until April 2005, but she was given a contraceptive injection to help ease her symptoms and it made her condition deteriorate to the point where she was signed off work by her doctor until the effects wore off.

Managers decided to sack her because, after three months off, it was still unclear when she would be fit for work.

Kerren Daly, for the AA, said the company did everything possible to accommodate her but had to sack her, when her sickness absences continued.

These efforts included welfare visits, allowing her to make up the hours she missed and allowing her to reduce her working week.

The tribunal is expected to last until tomorrow.

****

South Wales EchoAugust 9, 2007
'No-one will give me a job now'

David James

A 27-year-old woman fired because she took too much time off with painful periods has been told her sacking was justified. An employment tribunal ruled AA Insurance was allowed to terminate Kerry MacDonald's job when she failed to return from sick leave. It said the company had done enough to adjust for the 27-year-old's severe gynaecological condition - which left her in agony.

And the verdict - released almost two months after a two-day tribunal hearing at Cardiff's Caradog House - warned Miss MacDonald she should not have expected AA to keep her job open for ever.

Miss MacDonald, of Pengam Green, Cardiff, told the Echo no-one would employ her now because of her endometriosis - a type of chronic internal bleeding brought on during the menstrual cycle.

The former collections adviser, who now claims incapacity benefit and is supported by her partner Sam Willis, 26, a civilian worker at Rumney Police Station, said she would not appeal.

She said: "There's nothing I can do. It's over. I thought I had a strong case. Nobody will employ me because of my condition. As soon as they find out about my endometriosis, that's it.

"At one interview I had, on the way out, the interviewer said to me: 'Isn't there a pill you can take for this.' I got home and cried my eyes out. I want to work. I don't want to stay at home but nobody will give me the opportunity."

Miss MacDonald, who suffered with the condition throughout her five-year employment with the AA, had to enter her periods in the corporate giant's shared diary. A series of disputes between her and the HR department came to a head when she was off sick after an injection, aimed at alleviating the condition, which made it worse.

The AA told the tribunal in June it had tried to ease her return to work by offering flexible working but sacked her in August 2005 when she did not come back after three months off sick. A spokeswoman said: "We are pleased with the outcome of the tribunal and wish Miss MacDonald well in the future."

*****

Please note - I did not target this company deliberately; I just happened to find this news story online.

Life In a Call Centre from a Canadian Perceptive

2011-08-02T03:04:00.001+01:00

Hello Dear Readers!

I am guest blogging/ranting here for your reading enjoyment.

I have become a twitter friend of this blog, I have also had the displeasure of working in a call centre as well.

For me (un)fortunately was wrongful dismissed from my position this past Spring, brief background I had two customers complained I was rude, which I wasn't I'm just assertive with people when needed.

In my humble opinion call centres are ran like a barely legal chop shop with no concern of the mental or physical well-being of their workers. As a worker YOU are a statistic that needs and will obey each written and non-written rule with no room for error or you will be treated like less than an animal.

It's a sad but true fact you are not allowed to leave you desk when needed, my last position I had to account for every second I was present in the building, heaven forbid you go to the photocopier or pick up a fallen piece of paper just outside of one's reach.

I truly have so many horror and heartbreaking stories from that awful place. Two I care to share that I feel are important is to fully grasp the cruel workplace it was.

First incident, in the aisle there was 10 desks, 3 of the women were type 2 diabetics. One of the women needed her medication as she was slipping into a high suger range, she was not able to concentrate, her speech was slurred, she was not able to be coherent to the customer she was speaking with.

The solution was simple she needed to walk not even 10 minutes to the phamarcy and check her blood sugar.

She wasn't allowed to do that! The company's response: We're too busy in queue right now.

Luckily for her, that our dear sweet co-worker offered up her medication as she took the same dosage.

Excuse my language, FUCKING ASSHOLES!

Our health doesn't amount to nothing but a customer who has a non-life threatening issue can wait 2 minutes.

Second incident that I will mention

Another lady had her menstrual cycle, she was not allowed to purchase any feminine care products, everyone could clearly see what happened....

A great fact about that workplace we weren't allowed outside the building unless it was our breaks.

The company clearly had their favorites, I was not such a ass kisser as I'm still young enough to move on to a happier place like where I am now. *cough* Banff!

The reason why I put up working there for such a long time of my life was there is such low employment in that location, it's almost unavoidable to work in a call centre.

To end this blog, I want to thank you for reading this blog entry, please excuse the rage and spelling and grammar errors.

Life in a call centre, Part 6

2011-08-01T17:20:00.004+01:00

Toilets.

Yes, it has to be said!

We had a team of cleaners. Unsure what they actually did...

When I first started, I would see them cleaning the desks first thing in the morning and they would run the vac round. But that tailed off and we started cleaning our own desks.

But my issue was always the loos.

Yes, I am a little (at times, VERY) OCD. I strongly dislike public toilets at the best of times. But these! Firstly, the smell... 3 or 4 women in the company had diverticular disorder and so they would leave horrible smells behind. The company was aware of this. But air fresheners were fazed out in the budget cuts.

Then the general appearance...

Considering these were the women's loos, you'd think farm animals had been allowed to run loose in there!

Highlights included the woman who emptied the contents of her nose down the cubicle walls EVERY SINGLE DAY, the person who stuck used sanitary towels to the PHS bins instead of dropping them in, the chick that regularly shat on the floor, women that would leave blood smeared everywhere (you KNOW if you have heavy periods and you deal with it to make life more pleasant for everyone else)... and the best?

The time someone had managed to hang a used tampon from the light fitting...

Women! Come on now! We had a list going of those that did not wash their hands (and another list of those that did not use toilet paper...).

So we requested the cleaners come in and clean more regularly. The response? A cleaner came in and emptied the bins every afternoon. That did not deal with the problem.

There was also no attempt to address the underlying issue on the part of the company, other than to put up a poster saying -

"Cleaners are your colleagues too and they earn less than you do!"

Yeah, I'm sure that bloody helped...

Life in a call centre, Part 5

2011-08-01T16:45:00.003+01:00

Tight gits.

You know, in the last year I earned £3000 less than I made the year before. Why? Because they cut our incentives.

They claimed they had to because we were struggling as a business and we all had to chip in to help. We also only got minimal pay rises. Then they posted record profits.

You know when you realise someone is pissing on your leg?

Love this - the office was looking a bit rough; the carpets were worn, the computers were slow and mis-matched, everything was just tatty around the edges.

Let's redecorate!

Oh but that would cost money...

Better idea!

Let's redecorate half the office!

Yup. Half. Literally they re-carpeted the first half of each floor closest to the lifts so visitors would see the nice new carpets and then be ushered back into the lifts and whisked away. New desks too. New computers but they didn't fucking work properly and half of us started getting migraines as soon as we started working on them...

Thing is, they didn't even bother matching things up. The new carpet is green while the old is pink. The new desks were much smaller (pack more of us in). They didn't even CLEAN the half they did not bother to decorate. What. The. Fuck.

You know what we would have all appreciated more than the new carpets and new desks? An operating system that worked so we didn't have to keep saying "bear with me" to every caller and for the cleaners to actually clean! Is that too much to ask?!!

I think the toilets deserve their own blog entry so I will go into that more in a bit...

But come on! Give us clean toilets and computers that work and productivity would soar! Doesn't take a genius to work that out...

Hala and Evelyn... It's like the worst porno imaginable...

2011-08-01T09:19:00.004+01:00

I haven't been wasting much time on these two recently because, well, I have a life.

I wonder if Hala has ever actually had a job... I know she did some music industry stuff in Florida (hanger-on, mainly) but since she moved to California, she has just been doing all of her acting/writing/publishing, etc. All independent. Because no one will employ her? And that use of Because (and And!) at the start of a sentence was just for old Zumie who likes to bastardize the English language at every opportunity...

It has been brought to my attention that one of them has been going round, posting my real name and home address all over the place. I have already had to petition google to have some of these entries removed.

So how did they get my details?

Well, I used to have a link to my Facebook on here. In fact, I used to write under my real name on here. As for my address? Hala requested that so she could send me a free copy of one of her books after I gave the Kindle version an honest (bad) review.

There is no other way this could be gained as I fiercely protect the privacy of my family.

So this is not just idle gossip or bitching any longer. This is serious illegal activity.

In the UK, I could get Hala thrown in prison as she has used my personal information that was gained for a legitimate business reason for her own personal vendetta. This is against the Data Protection Act and results in a hefty fine and a not-insignificant prison sentence. I am currently in discussion with my lawyer here as to if this could be enforced against someone who lives in the US. My California lawyer is also looking into what we can do to get the beast.

I don't know which one is posting but Hala is the one that will be facing all the consequences as she is the only one that could have supplied the information.

Seems fair.

So anyway, I shall spend a few minutes on the shit book. I will probably review another chapter this week, if I can be bothered. I am still determined to finish it but I don't particularly like reading books that depress me. Oh and I may review that work of fiction about how Valentino never actually died. You know, the one her grandmother reviewed on Amazon. I am sure I have that on my Kindle somewhere...

Affairs Valentino is apparently no longer for sale on Amazon.com because it is below the standard of what they are willing to sell. And Amazon sell some real crap, believe me.

I need to address an important point now...

"This book has 60 pages of notes".

No it doesn't.

This has been argued as the reason it is a good book. 60 pages of notes. There are actually 43.5 pages of notes and half of one of those is as explanation as to how the notes work. So it has 43 pages of notes then. 43 pages of badly-written notes, some of which are in completely the wrong place. Some have an extra line between them to pad them out even more.

A bibliography is not notes. It is a bibliography. Poor-quality scans of documents with no comment to make the relevance clear are not notes. At best, they are... well... filler. So the 60 pages of notes that are used to justify this book's relevance in the academic debate around Valentino simply do not exist.

Nice.

Funny story!

When Pickford was getting ready to reprint Day Dreams, she emailed me (and others) and asked me to comment on her cryptic blog posts to help create some buzz about the book. I didn't bother.

Then the book was published and started getting harsh reviews.

Hala then emailed me and asked me to review the book for her on Amazon. I didn't actually own a copy (I had the original so would not bother buying a reprint). Thought that was dodgy as fuck...

But then when she and Zumaya were setting up the anti-David Bret blog, she asked me to start reviewing Bret's books on Amazon, again ones I had not read, in order to lower the average ratings. She said she had several accounts herself (as did Zumaya, according to Pickford) and they were working on that project themselves but needed my assistance. Again, I did not bother.

Just seems a bit... fraud-y to me...

Life in a call centre, Part 4

2011-08-01T08:16:00.003+01:00

Ah, the dress code.

We worked in a call centre. To be technical, no one could see us... We would occasionally have managers come in from a different office but that was like once a month...

So we had this dress code - jeans allowed but no tears, trainers were OK as long as they were clean, men had to wear collars, no slogans, nothing that showed bras, nothing strapless or sleeveless, no shorts or cut-off jeans, no flip flops, nothing dirty...

Seems reasonable enough. I mean, it is just common sense.

So how come most of the lads came to work in football shirts?

Or torn jeans that were so low-slung that you could see the bottom hem of their undies?

One girl had had a row with a senior manager previously and got sent home for wearing a top with lips on it. The girl who regularly wore the Mickey Mouse t-shirt had nothing said to her.

I used to wear long sleeve or 3/4 length sleeved tops. Why? Because I am tattood to my elbows and I had never told anyone. They then decided that my plain black top with 3/4 length sleeves was not dress code. So I went into short sleeved shirts and they had the pleasure of my extensive artwork on show instead. I personally thought I looked much more professional before...

I tried to fight them, arguing that covering up was better than dressing like I was off to Revs after work but they did not listen.

This whole time, the fat girl in the boob tube and mini skirt was ignored...

Livid.

I started to follow the dress code to the letter but it was still not enforced with anyone else.

Then the company decided we should all have branded polo shirts. At 15 quid a pop. And everyone had to buy a minimum of 3. I told them to go fuck themselves. Then I left.

Should you walk by the office now, you can see plenty of people standing in the street on cigarette breaks, looking like even the local homeless shelter would turn them away.

Great for the company image...

Life in a call centre, Part 3

2011-08-01T07:30:00.004+01:00

Meet "Jackie".

My fellow trainee. In fact, I had my initial interview with her and she only passed the group interview because she spent the whole time whole-heartedly agreeing with everything I was saying...

There were 8 of us in our trainee group. She immediately attached herself to me. But she was late every day and was not very good at learning stuff so I got bored of her really quickly.

When we went up on the phones, she and my best friend (Kay) were put on the same team with the rest of us going to another (not everyone had passed training so we had lost two by that point). Jackie decided she wanted to throw herself right in to call centre life. Best way to do that? Gossip about everyone else.

Kay had told us in training about how she had gone into an arranged marriage when she was younger and it had all gone horribly wrong (he was abusive). She also told us about her miscarriages and her drug addiction. "Sam" told us about her difficult pregnancy, her quickie marriage to her friend as the father had dumped her, her battles with bipolar disorder, her time spent in a mental hospital, her repeated suicide attempts... I told them practically nothing about me other than I used to work in the music industry and I was multi-lingual...

Within hours of us hitting the floor, I would have people come up to me, asking if I knew who had been in the "nut-house". There was a lot of pointing and whispering from Jackie's team. It was kinda annoying...

We all decided not to waste any more time with Jackie as she was just bringing us all down (we all thought she would leave or be fired soon anyway). Jackie took offence to us no longer feeding her gossip source so confronted me (the oldest and easiest to talk to). I explained everything that was going on and how we all felt about it and she denied she had been gossiping. Bitch didn't make eye contact once...

She went off and kept on with her popularity campaign and the rest of us settled in very well. Then she started telling people I was doing the serial father. Ugh. I wasn't having any of that so one day I casually mentioned how she was going to fall down the stairs very soon and really ought to be carefully in those little flip flops she insisted on wearing every day (against dress code regs)... The gossip stopped.

Gradually, our entire team left except me and Jackie. "John" left after having sex with a male colleague after a wild drinking night. His girlfriend was not best pleased... "Zoe" left after the abortion. Kay left after the miscarriage. "Sam" left after yet another suicide attempt following a row with our line manager.

It went very quiet. Jackie and I never spoke to each other, except when a manager sent her to me for a phone number or something.

Then it was time for the Christmas party. Jackie got hammered and was all over the boyfriend of one of my team mates. She was ready to beat the fuck out of her. Then some interesting gossip came out...

In training, we had all noticed that Jackie had her eyebrows tattood on. She told us it was to make getting her make-up on easier. As my team mate was about to punch her in the face, Jackie started talking fast... She was really sorry but she lacked confidence so she made up for it by sleeping with as many men as she could. She lacked confidence because she was bald. I KNEW IT WAS A WIG!!! No one's hair looks like that!! So yeah, she had alopecia.

As soon as word got out, her confidence received a massive boost when all the lads on the floor started trying to get her into bed. There was a bet on to see who could knock off her wig first, you see...

Jackie had failed the first year of uni 4 times, by the way, and her parents had thrown her out because of her excessive drinking and drug use. Lovely girl...

She still works at the call centre.

She's incompetent and makes more mistakes than everyone else combined but she must be doing the correct managers...

Good for her. Not like she will ever achieve anything else...

Life in a call centre, Part 2

2011-07-31T21:14:00.004+01:00

In this evening's episode, we expand more on all the unbridled passion you find in call centres.

I maintain that we are all part of some secret government breeding programme... we reproduce to further the next generation of phone monkeys, each slightly more slutty than the last...

We were introduced to what was deemed normal behaviour early on in our call centre lives; my first line manager (on my first day) announced he was leaving his wife because his girlfriend (one of our team) was pregnant with his baby. His 6th child. With 5 different women. All of which had worked at this call centre at one point...

You know what? He was old and ugly and balding and he had tits that would have put my flabby ex to shame. But he was one of the few male managers on the floor and that was apparently enough.

Within 6 weeks of starting, one of my fellow trainees left after discovering she was pregnant by another one of our team members. She had a termination and then could not face the gossip. She went to another call centre and got knocked up again but she kept the second one; now lives on state benefits down the Taff Embankment.

My own (now former) best friend also left after getting pregnant by a team member and then suffering a miscarriage in work. Do none of these kids understand the concept of birth control?? I am surprised there are not more STDs going round the office.

A little aside... I once had a chat with a few of these kids about their attitude to contraception. They all confirmed they did not bother using any. I guess growing up in the 1980s under the shadow of AIDS made me a little more sensible...

This one woman (I actually cannot remember her name so I will call her Sarah) was really loud (and really quite ugly to be technical... but having big tits and loads of make up apparently causes all the boys to fall over themselves). She was doing a team coach (4 kids by the time he was 26... though he is a nice guy and a good mate of mine) but she was not getting what she wanted so she dropped him for her own team manager. Suddenly Sarah was promoted to team coach...

Then there's these two managers. She's a two-faced lying piece of shit and he HAS TO BE GAY. I don't care what anyone says - that guy is gay! How can anyone live in denial for 45 years?!! They were together for ages. Then her boyfriend found out.

Speaking of which... that painted trollop was shagging one of her colleagues til her husband found out. That was quite funny. Who would want to stick it in that decaying cesspit?

The lads on my team would point out girls they'd had. And there were a surprising amount...

One girl (lovely lass, I might add) moved to Australia, as indeed many of my colleagues did. Before she went, she decided to do one guy from every department - customer services, sales, finance, claims, complaints, fraud, admin, compliance, IT, security... you get the idea... She managed it, too. Took her 3 weeks to get all the way round.

Guy on my team hooked up with a woman on the next team over. Then felt the need to tell us all the kinky stuff she made him do. At least they were happy.

"Lucie". Gay. Straight. Gay. No, straight. Nah... prefer gay... STRAIGHT! I'm getting married! Gay. Gay. Gay. Straight.

One manager was doing her superior. Both were a pair of cunts. She even slept with him the night before her wedding to the father of her children.

Three guys on my team were after this one girl. Then she hit on me. I took great pleasure in telling the boys about that. They didn't bother asking for photos...

And as for me? I learned my lesson about getting involved with workmates a long time ago.

In my 4 years, I was asked out by 16 different men (and two women). All politely declined... except that serial father... he was told to go fuck himself with a stick...

True hero

2011-07-30T22:39:00.002+01:00

On Tuesday morning, a lorry caught fire in the Brynglas Tunnels on the M4 at Newport. It caused hours of traffic jams and disruption as the tunnel had to be closed.

Meet Ashley Hall.

That's him up there.

He was driving behind the lorry as it became engulfed in flames. The lorry driver had stopped and got out but was in severe shock and attempted to get back in his truck. Ashley stopped his car and ordered the lorry driver to get in before driving out of the tunnel, seconds before the truck exploded.

His actions most definitely saved the lorry driver's life.

I had to drive through the tunnel today on my way back from Herefordshire. There is a 30 mile an hour speed limit in place in the tunnel (50 leading to it). The traffic jams to get in was absolutely horrendous.

Know why?

Because everyone was slowing down to look at the damage.

Clever.

The tarmac in the tunnel melted so they have done a temporary resurface until they can get in and finish the job properly. The rest of the damage is incredible, though.

There is serious damage to the roof of the tunnel with the lights knocked out for part of the way and you can see the smoke damage all over the place. It was downright eerie to drive through it.

When I was living in LA, I came home to visit my mom in Newport at Christmas. One Sunday lunch time, we were in the kitchen when we noticed thick black smoke coming from a few blocks away. We decided to go out and investigate and while we were walking towards the focus, there were four large explosions. Of course, I lived in LA and this wasn't long after 9/11... Mom told me to get up from behind the car I was using as a shield as it was obviously tyres exploding...

We made our way to the local bakery where a truck was ablaze. The fire quickly spread and burnt down a large part of the adjacent buildings.

It was one of the scariest things I had ever witnessed. This was out in the open so I can only imagine how bad it must have been in the tunnel...

The fire brigade were there for days, damping down. Then there was a fire at the aluminium factory a few days later...

What a Christmas for those men. We all took them chocolates and cakes to cheer them up.

The cause of the tunnel fire is under investigation.

The bakery fire?

Arson.

The kid later burned down the local school too. We had a fun evening watching that burn with the neighbours too...

Life in a call centre, Part 1

2011-07-30T19:01:00.002+01:00

Four years.

FOUR YEARS.

I was young and full of hope when I started there...

Fuckers.

Do you know how they thanked me for my years of loyal service? They "forgot" to pay me my last wage. Payroll told me my line manager had not sent over the correct paperwork so now I sit here, owed about £1400. They couldn't deal with it yesterday. No one works Fridays, you see...

The rule was that you could not have a relationship with anyone over whom who held influence or power. So why were three of the managers shagging frontline staff on their own teams and one manager was doing a higher manager who was responsible for her promotion?

Targets. We had many targets. I caught several top sellers actively miss-selling. I reported it. I was told to keep quiet. I was only ever a mediocre seller. I sleep well at night.

We always knew when we were getting fucked over; we'd get free tea and coffee and the top managers would hand out cakes. They did that before the redundancies, before they cut our pensions, before they reduced our incentives, before they raised our targets. Some of the lads got VERY chunky in their time there...

Speaking of which... working in a call centre is horrendous for your health. The air-con was dodgy as hell so we were always sick and you were not encouraged to leave your pod. When I was transferred to another department, I dropped 16lbs in 2 weeks... but then I was happy for the first time in years at that place...

They hated graduates. That was one of the reasons given for me never getting promoted. "Graduates know how to say the right thing and then they leave". Wanna know why we leave? Because of attitudes like that.

My line manager would regularly discuss my personal information and performance with other team members.

My manager was a complete cunt.

And she was dirty.

She once asked one of my team mates to call the DVLA and pretend to be her son. He declined. BECAUSE THAT IS FRAUD!

She obviously does not recall her FSA/Data Protection training.

On my last day, her goodbye? "Humph".

Yeah, fuck you too, you painted trollop.

Happy (Belated) Birthday!

2011-07-30T07:59:00.002+01:00

Yesterday was Geddy's 58th birthday. I DID NOT FORGET!! I merely forgot to blog it...

In my defence, I spent most of the day on the phone to the Payroll department of my previous company after the fuckers chose not to pay me my settlement. This is now being paid next week but the extra crap meant I forgot what is actually important - praising Geddy.

Bad ebayers!

2011-07-29T15:21:00.005+01:00

This is a work in progress - feel free to add your own nominations in the comments section...

69baillie - sent me a mouldy, stained handbag and then sent a series of very threatening emails after I complained

allpolishedupnails - lists stuff they do not have available for sale

bablecat - did a charge back after receiving item (via credit card company)

cdshackuk - shill bidder

chelsea-jan1970 - sells fake designer jewellery

chocolatebabe10 - sends repeated obscenely low offers on BIN listings with Best Offer

chrissage - sent repeated threatening emails to me when was not happy with a purchase and refused to return item (coincidently, also a gossip that spread malicious lies about my personal life amongst mutual friends)

cocopoppooh - makes repeated unreasonably low offers on BIN listings with Best Offer feature

cwrt40 - shill bidder

daisyleaf31 - did not send item and refused to communicate

eil_espirit - uses ebay to build up their own marketing list and refuses to resolve issues

fabgearuk - bullied and harassed me into giving a refund whilst refusing to return an item. Had to open a dispute against them to get payment in the first place

fabiocum - shill bidder

flamingo-sans-designs - makes best offers but with terms added that they will only pay under certain circumstances (ie, "if I get paid next week, I will pay you", etc)

grant0303dog - non-paying bidder

heart-trending - steals photos

jimmyjaytroy - non-paying bidder

karen161164 - shill bidder

liam78models - did not send item, in fact emailed to say was not going to bother sending it!

mk11-2009 - shill bidder

motorkent - non-paying bidder

nicholasbenham - non-paying bidder

philloppotoro - refused to combine postage so made more than 100% profit on P&P. Ignored three emails I sent. Described a tatty old item as "good" when pages were torn out, etc

prettyvacantink - selling broken jewellery as "vintage, like new"

sally4334 - rather than resolving issues (an item she sent me did not arrive), goes psycho and accusing regular customers of lying

silky_smooth_tvt - selling fake Tatty Devine

stonedranger67 - non-paying bidder

topsales45 - pulls listing if they are not making enough and then lies as to why

tops-hair-salon - really rude "terms" about how they will harass you if you are unhappy with the transaction

Oh and my bad ebayer list is so long due to the number of transactions I have been a part of. This is out of 4000-odd. Not that many in the grand scheme of things...

So kept a little quiet about this...

2011-07-28T17:23:00.002+01:00

I had an interview Monday to work at a law firm in Cardiff. The pay was OK but it is an entry-level position so it kinda sucked, considering my education and experience and all...

But anyway... On Monday, I was getting ready for the interview (which mainly consists of me telling my contacts to "GET IN MY FUCKING EYE YOU BASTARDS!") when my mobile rang. I was only half paying attention but it was a woman asking me to interview for a temporary position in a local call centre. I was thinking of a way to politely decline when she said it was as a complaints handler...

I absolutely loved working in the complaints department at my last place and really miss that aspect of the job. So now I was listening... She said she would email me some details so I could have a look through and see if I wanted to apply.

I went off to the interview with the law firm, got home, read the info pack I had been sent and thought OK... not bad... She then called me back and invited me to interview. In Reading. I went today. £100 that train ticket cost me...

Yes, I got the job. It is working at a company I always wanted to work for doing something I love doing. OK, it is only for 6 months but the pay is three times what I was on at my last place. Also, they said they will be happy to place me elsewhere after I relocate back to the West Midlands.

So it has worked out quite well for me.

The hours are a bit anti-social but for that amount of money, I am hardly going to argue...

I start in ten days so I am going to enjoy what is left of my holiday time and get ready to make some cash.

Oh yeah.

And yes, there is a recommend a friend programme so if any of my current readers are looking for work, let me know...

Happy Birthday Roger!

2011-07-26T08:27:00.001+01:00

Roger Taylor is 62 today!

People are so easy to con...

2011-07-24T19:43:00.007+01:00

...and seem to enjoy blindly following others without questioning what is actually going on.

Yesterday, I posted about a Facebook group that had been set up and I said I thought it had been set up by a man due to the terms used.

Well, the admin announced that their name was Karin Fien and we could find out all about her if we "looked her up". Of course, we did and we quickly found some very offensive web pages about her, accusing her of all sorts of sexual depravity and child neglect, amongst other things.

The admin of the Facebook group spent the entire day being vile until a rival group was set up, attacking her and a blog appeared with all sorts of alleged details about her shared.

I will admit that the group admin had got me really angry and I got caught up in all of the hatred initially.

But then it dawned on me... I truly felt that the initial Facebook group had been set up by a man due to the misogynistic terms used. They had been pretty offensive in the morning but in the afternoon their tone and content changed dramatically (to the point where I thought it was a teenage boy in the morning and a very well educated man in the afternoon). The terms used throughout suggested it was a male who was behind the page anyway. The admin created a Facebook profile for Karin Fien after we started questioning their identity. As soon as people started running with all the hatred about Karin Fien, the admin stopped posting (because they no longer needed to; the damage was already done). As soon as the anti-Karin group was set up, loads of her "victims" came out of the woodwork and joined.

Add to that the fact that the admin told us to go looking for Karin Fien online, knowing full well the abuse we would find...

And the really strange thing? There is no actual physical proof of anything this woman has done; it is all stuff that has been posted by others.

It is just too well-organised.

OK, she may be a psycho but I don't think she is this particular psycho.

I believe that this Facebook group, along with others alleged to have been in her name was set up by an enemy of hers. She is a well-known cougar (she did an interview in the Daily Mail) and we all know how intensely immature younger men can be... I am under the impression that this has been "masterminded" (ha!) by an ex-boyfriend who has a vendetta against her.

It is all too easy for it to have been this woman. And if you google her and see some of the abuse recorded about her online, you will see that someone obviously has real issues with her and a half-assed attempt to cause a Facebook row is not beyond the capabilities of even the most stupid man...

Again, this Karin may be an absolute nutjob but the fact that one person admitted to harassing her disabled teenage daughter suggests there are worse nutjobs to be concerned about right now...

**Quick edit**

My theories have been confirmed. Another anti-Karin group has been set up and when someone brought my post to the group's attention, the attitude was very much "who cares? Let's get the slag, etc".

I believe it is two men behind the fake profiles - one is a slightly stupid young man who likes calling complete strangers "cunt" and another is slightly better spoken and tries to use semi-rational argument to piss everyone off. If I cared, I would name the two males but it is so incredibly obvious, even the most naive person would see it...

And all the anti-Karin arguments? Well, they pretty much focus on her weight or on the fact that her daughter is disabled. THAT is immature.

Some daft woman has claimed that I - Irezumi Muzan - am Karin! HAHAHAHA!!! What an absolute fuckwit! I have been here since '07 and I am very well-known in my own right. Is she really so stupid to think that Karin would spend years cultivating a blog like this to just use it to defend herself at a later date? No. I am a well-educated woman that can see when people are being scammed.

Oh and I tried to rejoin the first anti-Karin group to point out the error of their ways but my request was blocked, purely because I was showing them how wrong they were on here! Talk about open-minded...

I hope Karin sues the bloody lot of them.

**Edit 2**

Oh and now the admin has reappeared, claiming to be Karin again after I posted this. Come on, you can't all be THAT thick??? Why would she feel the need to state that she is Karin in that way? Jeez, this is like trying to explain Astrophysics to a 3 year old...

**Edit 3**

For the terminally dull, a hint as to who one of the perpetrators behind the fake accounts is... the other night "Karin" referred to someone as a "mong". Firstly, I can guarantee she would not use that term, considering what has happened to her daughter. Secondly, who has been using that term rather a lot recently? Yup? Got it now? Good.

eil.com are just shit

2011-07-24T16:55:00.005+01:00

I made the mistake of buying a record from them on ebay at the start of the week. It was quite a rare one so I was happy to have been able to find it.

I then received an email from Sophie at eil.com to say the record had been shipped and

As we're such nice people here at eil.com and genuinely appreciate your first
order, we've given you a credit on your account to the value of £ 5.00 which
you can use against your next order. There are absolutely no catches!! All
you have to do now is make the difficult decision as to which items you are
going to purchase next! Credit will automatically be deducted from your next
order at the checkout stage on our web site or will be deducted by our sales
team if you order by telephone or email.

OK, I thought... I had a browse through and selected a couple of press packs that I wouldn't mind adding to my collection. The £5 off would basically cover the postage. So I went through the order process and GUESS WHAT! The £5 was never deducted!

I thought that was a bit odd so I emailed this Sophie and asked what their game was (though I, of course, worded it very politely).

GUESS WHAT!

No response.

By this point, I had already paid for the press packs (about £60). I was kinda livid. OK, it was only a fiver but that strikes me as being very false advertising...

Anyway, after ordering my press packs, I went through and selected that I did not want any marketing at all (which took me practically FOREVER because they feel the need to add you to a shit load of email lists). I very carefully went through it and saved it. So no marketing.

No?

Like fuck.

I got an emailed Black Sabbath list through from a Joe at eil.com. I emailed back to ask why I had received it when I had specifically requested no marketing.

I got this email in response -

After investigating this further i can see that your account was NOT flagged for no mailouts. It has now been done so.

So I wasted all that time suppressing marketing for fuck all?!!

This company are a joke. They wont give me the fiver they owe me (again, principle!) and their own marketing suppression form does not even work!

Guess who will be getting negative feedback on ebay then. Shit customer service does not make up for decent rare records...

*****Quick edit*****

They just phoned me and made it clear they had no intention of resolving this issue! What a bunch of tossers!

Poor old Gino

2011-07-24T16:50:00.000+01:00

Coco pushes him around so much but then Gino lets him...

RIP Amy Winehouse

2011-07-23T17:44:00.002+01:00

Amy Winehouse had immense talent but it was just wasted due to her addictions.

I hope she is at peace.

Facebook = Fucktard Heaven

2011-07-22T09:39:00.004+01:00

I just happened to stumble upon this Facebook page -

For those that don't know, here is an article with details of the case. Basically, someone contaminated saline with insulin in a hospital and 5 patients have died. Rebecca Leighton is a nurse at the hospital and is being questioned. Questioned. She has not yet been charged (as of 9:42 am on 22nd July 2011).

So some clever little soul has decided to set up the above Facebook page calling her a "Murdering Whore". The tag line is "This woman must've done something wrong to get arrested in the first place!!!"

What a fucking moron.

So there is no such thing as innocent until proven guilty any longer.

Wonderful.

Now I am not saying she is innocent. I am also not saying she is guilty. I have not seen the evidence so I cannot judge. No one else should either.

What gives this little Facebook troll the right to post such crap about her?

I bet he's the sort of weirdo that gets a stiffy every time he reads about a rape victim being stoned to death in Iran.

Again, she may be guilty but how many people are questioned and then are not charged? The British legal system is not perfect.

(Though I can GUARANTEE that is she is charged and it goes to trial, the lawyers will argue Münchhausen Syndrome by Proxy and she'll spend the rest of her days in a secure hospital.)

We simply cannot allow trial by Facebook. What next? Cut off the hands of suspected thieves?

Ignorance cannot win.

I am not a Brummie...

2011-07-21T14:58:00.003+01:00

Sorry for the bad quality... trying to work out how my camera works. Only owned it for two and a half fucking years...

Our house, in the middle of our street

2011-07-20T14:55:00.004+01:00

Ah, my neighbours...

Wankers.

The guy next door has decided he does not like my cats and now does not want them anywhere near his property. Have you ever tried training a cat? He decided this because we objected to him trying to dig up the foundations of our house. He has so far encroached onto out property by 3 feet at the front with his driveway and wall and he keeps digging up our flower beds. When we objected, he suddenly did not like cats...

There's the guy up the road who moved in sometime in the 1980s after his folks bought him the house. It is stuffed wall to wall with old newspapers. There's a bookcase blocking one window that has been there since the day he moved in. He only leaves the house to mow the lawns at the local church.

Know what I think?

Serial killer.

The woman over the road and up one has that psycho dog that broke my mother's hand a couple of years ago and keeps going for me. She wont muzzle it and the local police are not interested.

The woman over the road and down one often stands on the doorstep early in the morning screaming "You fat twat!" at her live-in boyfriend when he leaves to play golf.

So classy.

Two doors up from us, the woman who gets lonely so calls 999 three times a week and says she thinks she is dying because "that nice ambulance lady always makes me a cup of tea".

Two doors down? Convicted paedophile.

Three doors down is the lovely woman who decided that she was tired of having an affair so she stabbed her husband - he survived - and moved her lover in (and the husband's property out) while he was recovering in the hospital.

Over the road and down two is the weird woman who only lets her adult sons out at 7pm to go to the local shop and they have to be back by 7:15 or she calls the police. All on the dole.

Top of the road - THEM. Violent parents and badly behaved children that have been expelled from more schools than you could imagine. The youngest was banned from Brownies at age 6 for racially abusing a young Asian girl. The kids are all barred from the local shops for stealing. He weighs a good 30 stone and thinks all women fancy him (try ya luck with me, ya cunt!) and she is a chain-smoking ex-prostitute.

And we live out in the country! That's the annoying thing... When I lived in Birmingham, we expected this kind of stuff but not down in South Wales.

The entire family have decided to move back to the West Midlands for the safety and protection of the children. I have my eye on a little cottage just outside Stanford Bridge in Worcestershire. Mom is looking at Kidderminster. My sister is looking at a renovation project in Hereford.

I will always be proud to be Welsh but the country has just gone to shit.

Bad mother...

2011-07-20T10:33:00.003+01:00

I went to school with this girl. She was a bit of a strange one... There were issues with her mother so her and her sister lived with her grandmother. She never shaved her legs and never wore a bra (needed to on both counts). She went a bit more funny towards the end of year 9 and I stopped talking to her. She eventually dropped out of school and disappeared.

Last year, I joined Facebook at the urging of the kids and she was one of the first to add me. She did the usual "You look fabulous! Missed you! We should catch up!" bollocks and that was that.

Through reading her updates, I could see that she had two kids with a bloke but they had broken up as he treated her badly and were going through a messy custody battle but she currently had the kids and was living with her new bloke.

Then she won full custody of the kids and started planning a wedding with the new man.

Great! Good for her to be finally settled.

Then she gets pregnant with her new man. At that point, she does what any good mother would do... she surrendered custody of her two older children to her violent ex... WHAT THE FUCK?!!

OK. Maybe there is stuff going on that we don't know about.

Then she had the baby a fortnight ago. She's not breastfeeding, even with all the latest research on the matter showing that it is best for the health of the baby. But I digress... Within days, she was posting that she needed a night out with the girls as she needed a break from the newborn. Then there were the updates from the spa and the tanning salon... Then the night out with the girls when she did not get back til 10am the next morning...

Am I being daft or something? I thought that when you had a baby, the child became your number one priority and you certainly did not leave the baby with others while you went out and got pissed. Evidently things have changed...

Because of a few of my status updates in which I questioned her abilities as a mother, she has now started posting that her baby means the world to her and they will be spending the day at the hospital today because the baby isn't well. I'm not surprised the baby isn't well when the mother is a neglectful alcoholic.

This is the same woman who allows her 8 year old to go on her at-home sunbed (remember the big ones from the 80s when everyone was ignorant to the dangers? Yeah, one of them...).

So... Social Services? I think so...

Fucking ebay

2011-07-20T10:13:00.003+01:00

It just never gets better with them!

I absolutely hate the current feedback system (see my previous post) but the DSR rankings are beginning to piss me off even more.

Basically, when a buyer purchases something from you, they mark you out of 5 for Item as described, communication, dispatch time, and postage costs.

I am currently rated 4.85, 4.87, 4.96 and 5.00 respectively.

Not bad... until you look at it closer...

For item as described, one person gave me a 1 out of 5 and I have received a formal warning from ebay about this. Two more and limits will be placed on my account. The thing is, the person did not email me to say there was a problem (I will resolve all issues in a timely manner) and what could have been that bad? To be rated 1, the item has to be either counterfeit (I don't deal in fakes) or broken. Surely if it was broken, the buyer would have contacted me? Also, this buyer rated me 1 and yet still left me a positive feedback. This is actually supposed to be against ebay's rules so why wasn't the person pulled up on this?

Communication at 4.87. When I send an item, I send each buyer a personal email explaining the item is on the way and how long they should expect before they receive it. Is this not good enough? Evidently not for some...

Dispatch time - 4.96. Most items are mailed the same day of purchase or the following working day (or Saturday) at the very latest. Again, this is not quick enough? I have had to wait weeks for items before now and have not felt the need to mark sellers down. It especially galls me when some buyers take days to pay and then blame me for them not receiving their item quicker. Sucks.

And I get 5.00 for postage charges because, with the exception of the odd international listing, all of my items have free postage so ebay automatically give me 5 stars every time someone leaves me feedback.

I feel that if ebay really thinks this rating system is a good idea, they should have clear guidelines on how to use it for buyers with an explanation of the consequences of leaving false harsh ratings. Because of the way some people have marked me, I do not come up near the top in many ebay searches. I am, however, rated as an above average ebay seller.

What do they expect of me though???

Meet my brand new Glenn Tipton tattoo!

2011-07-19T21:02:00.002+01:00

...and if you say it is someone different, imma fuck you up...

Lissimore v Downing (2003)

2011-07-19T16:55:00.008+01:00

The geeky, boring criminologist in me is taking over again on this one. Sorry! When this case was reported in The Sun in 2003, my then-lover (a musician) sent me the story as a warning...

What a romantic guy he was!

It is one of those that has always stuck with me for various reasons but it is now pretty much reduced to a few lines and the odd newspaper article on a google search.

Today, however, I spent a good hour reading the judgement in the case and thought it was about time someone did a proper summary of it. Here goes!

*****

The SunFebruary 8, 2003
JUDITH PRIEST

Andrew Parker

Rocker 'wanted wedding dress'

JUDAS Priest rocker Ken Downing shocked his lover by announcing he wanted to put on a wedding dress, a court was told.

The veteran heavy metal guitarist made the bizarre demand after he spotted a bride in a restaurant.

His girlfriend Julie was dumbstruck and the pair later split. The story was told by the woman who took Julie's place -and is now suing Downing, 52, for a share of his fortune after he ditched her.

Sarah Lissimore, 35, said: "Ken told me he and Julie had stopped talking after he told her he'd like to try a bride's dress on. He said they were in a restaurant together and she went dead silent."

Sarah said she fell for Downing -KK to his fans -ten years ago.

She claimed she quit a promising career in pharmacy to live with him at his Pounds 2million Shropshire estate, Astbury Hall.

Sarah said he bought her an Argos engagement ring and asked her to wear it on her wedding finger.

When the affair collapsed, she demanded a cash settlement -but Downing offered her a tank of petrol for her car. She told Birmingham County Court: "He said he'd give me a tank of fuel and that was it. I was shocked."

Sarah said she had run the estate while Downing toured with Judas Priest, whose hit albums include Screaming For Vengeance.

She claimed she is entitled to part of his fortune for investing "time and skill" in Astbury instead of her own career -and is now skint.

Downing insisted the ring he gave Sarah was not an engagement band.

He said: "She knew before she came to Astbury I didn't want to marry."

Downing added: "Everything I do and every penny I have goes on the estate -it is my passion, my pension and my life."

He said the idea he'd share Astbury was "insulting". The case continues.

*****

Sarah Lissimore was 25 and estranged from her husband (though they were still living together) when she met 41 year old Kenneth "KK" Downing in a pub one night (in Autumn 1993) whilst she was out with a friend on one of those "We hate men" evenings that we all do... some of us more than others... She thought he was a farmer when she first started seeing him. Good for him.

They hit it off and she quickly moved into his house, Astbury Hall, a property Downing had bought in 1985, followed by surrounding farmland in 1991 with the intention of turning it into a golf course. She did not tell her parents for three months... Good start to the relationship there! She said she intended to buy a flat with her divorce settlement but he didn't like the area because it was rough and he didn't want his brand new Range Rover vandalised. Fair enough. Downing told Lissimore from the start that it would not be a conventional relationship; after-all, she was still legally married, though her divorce would be final in July 1994. While Judas Priest was basically on hiatus after Rob's departure, he must have known he would return to being a touring musician at some point and he confirmed that theirs would be an open relationship.

KK had also had a series of relationships that did not end well - he lived with Carole until 1985 (she had supported him in the early days and when they broke up, he paid off their mortgage and gave her the house), then Kyme who worked as a jeweller to support herself and lived with him in Spain... she returned to the US to be an actress in the 1980s after having an affair with another musician and was killed in a car accident in the early 1990s, and finally Julie who worked as a flight attendant; their relationship ended after she said she wanted to get married and KK said he would like to wear the wedding dress...

There's a pattern emerging... These women in KK's life all worked and did not demand much of him (aside from the odd marriage proposal). In return, they got his attention and support when the relationships ended (he partially financed Kyme's return to California, buying her an apartment).

____________________________

For the sake of accuracy, Kyme Hoan Tran was born in Vietnam on 30th June 1960 and was living in Woodland Hills when she was killed on January 17th 1993. The original report from the LA Times -

1 Driver Dies, 2nd Critically Hurt

January 18, 1993

A traffic accident on a rain-slicked Studio City street Sunday left one woman dead and another critically injured, Los Angeles police said.

A car driven by a woman heading south on Laurel Canyon Boulevard near Fryman Road spun out at high speed and crashed head-on with an oncoming car about 4:30 p.m., Officer Dave Cueto said.

____________________________

She was 32. Kyme is buried at Forest Lawn Memorial-Park in the Hollywood Hills. Her obituary -

Daily News of Los Angeles (CA) - January 22, 1993

Deceased Name: Tran, Kyme H.

Tran, Kyme H., 32, of Woodland Hills, self-employed jewelry salesman. Services will be at 2:30 p.m. Monday in the Old North Church at Forest Lawn Memorial-Park and Mortuary, Hollywood Hills. Private burial.

_____________________________

Then there's this woman. Sarah Lissimore was a pharmacy assistant when she met him and continued to work at this job, firstly full-time and then part-time before giving up work altogether. She claimed he forced her to give up work as her being out of the house inconvenienced him. He claimed he told her she could give up work if she wanted to as she wouldn't stop complaining about how much she hated the job. He agreed to support her until her divorce settlement came through, though he did suggest she could take a job closer to the house or do a computer course to improve her skills. She claims she was offered a sales job for a pharmaceutical company (there is no evidence to confirm this, aside from the statement of a relative of hers). She never took another job.

KK did continue to support her through the years, paying her credit card bill, putting money in her bank account, plus - of course - he paid all expenses relating to the home. She chose to spend her divorce settlement on a new car (she claims he told her she had to buy it) plus other things rather than investing it. Her choice.

Over the years, Lissimore took care of the house (in that she would discuss things with the staff who would then report back to KK for the go-ahead or paint the odd door or plant the odd flower-bed) while he recorded and toured. It is interesting to note that he did a lot of the cooking...

Then things changed.

Lissimore wanted to get married and have children. When KK bought her a £400 ring from Argos for Christmas 1994, she told everyone they were engaged. He did not deny it publicly so as not to embarrass her but privately he made it clear there was to be no wedding. He had also made it clear from the start that he would never want children as he would have to undergo medical treatment prior to conception being able to occur. She claims he was emotionally abusive and when she had tried to leave, he had offered her a tank of petrol.

In December 2001, Lissimore decided she had had enough and secretly filed a legal claim for half-ownership of Astbury Hall and Downing's properties in Spain, demanding that they be sold immediately. Downing was on tour at the time. She was also still living in the house but did move to another wing.

KK was very hurt by this as it was his house and he never intended to share it with anyone; he had even consulted a lawyer when she moved in to ensure she would have no claims on his property and was given general advise about protecting himself.

Downing and his lawyer decided to fight it.

It reached court in 2003.

The case disintegrated very quickly, with her claims against the Spanish properties dropped first, followed by her claim for half of Astbury Hall (worth over £2 million) in favour of a cash settlement of £200,000 so she could buy her own house and cover expenses until she was working again.

Her whole claim revolved around the fact that when they first got together, he referred to her as the "Lady of the Manor", amongst other things. She claimed that he would talk down to her about how she should not trouble her "pretty little head" with financial issues and would always take care of her. He denied that and the judge sided with him. She also believed that the fact that he included her in his will gave her claims on his property. He also included his mother, brother and two sisters. Doesn't mean any of them actually own his house and can demand he sell it.

Funnily enough, throughout the relationship, Lissimore never once claimed any part-ownership of the properties and only decided to do so when she wanted to leave.

Now I ain't saying she a gold-digger...

During the case, Downing's lawyer lodged a request to stop Lissimore from publishing documents she had photocopied while KK was away on that final tour before she filed. The content of the documents was not made public but the judge did confirm that she had no need to copy these documents and therefore could not publish the content.

Then there were the tapes. After KK found out what she was trying to do, he confronted her in her wing of the house and was "verbally abusive" towards her. She claimed she then feared domestic abuse and started recording all conversations that took place in her rooms. The only thing revealed in these tapes was the suggestion that she was trying to get a media deal out of the break-up. Downing eventually removed the tape recorder from Lissimore's possession during a violent incident. The content of the tapes has never been released.

Finally, KK also wanted details of his personal life kept private and was concerned that she would be trying to do tell-all story on his life. KK did not say specifically what he wanted kept private but during proceedings did admit to being bi-sexual, that he had had an affair with a pre-op transsexual man, and that he had an interest in cross-dressing. This was all recorded in court records but nothing ever came of it.

As for the final judgement? Her entire case was proven to be unfounded and she was instructed to pay court costs, sources say running at close to £100,000.

Sarah Lissimore was declared bankrupt the following year.

Kenneth "KK" Downing got his golf course.

So what do we learn from this case?

No matter how rich he is, how serious you think the relationship is... never give up your independence. Whether he's a rock star or a bin man, you keep your own income, own bank account, own property. If he marries you, THEN you can relax. Until then, expect nothing because, more than likely, that's exactly what you'll end up with.