Goodnight, Miko

We lost Miko yesterday. He was 18 and a half.

Miko was a rescue we took in back when he was about 3 months old. He and his sister Delilah were brought from South Wales to my then home in Birmingham and they were totally feral. In fact, we did not even see them for the first 4 months they lived with us; we knew they were there because they were eating the food we left out but they hid behind cupboards and attacked anyone who went near. It was my faithful old collie, Dino, that eventually tamed them and they became lovely cats. They were never all cuddly and affectionate but they fitted in with the family very well.

Miko was a big lad and would amuse himself by hanging off my waist-length hair. That's one of the reasons I now keep it quite short... He also could never be bothered with hunting but could take a butterfly out of the air without opening his eyes to the midday sun.

His sister passed away in December 2009 after her thyroid packed in and she did not respond to treatment. Miko - who never really got along with Delilah - then settled into a quiet, comfortable retirement.

In March 2011, we got the two kittens. Miko amused himself by pushing them around and asserting his position as leader of the pack.

Then we found him one morning with paralysis of the back legs. The vet was unsure if it was due to a fall or a stroke so he was put on painkillers and sent home to rest. Followed 18 months of treatment with his condition gradually worsening; he'd have good days and bad days. This last week, though, he became very withdrawn and would not allow anyone to stroke him. He came out into the garden yesterday while we were having a get-together and caught a bit of sun. I then took him back into the house for some food and put him in his bed. At about 8pm, he started gasping so I went and sat with him and stroked his head. He went very quickly.

It is awful to watch a cat deteriorate; he went from being a lively little thing to a limping old man.

He had a wonderful life, though. He was a lot luckier than many other cats and had a great run.

He was buried under an apple tree with a bird the kittens had killed this morning. May as well send him on with a packed lunch...

Too close to home...

Up until 2005, I was heavily involved in the music industry.

I would spend months on end on tour, both for work and pleasure. It was a rather intense time but I met some very interesting people and all of the stresses were worth it.

But I also met some rather intense people that stressed me out beyond belief.

One of those people was a young lad who started off messaging me on a band forum. He seemed like a bit of a social outcast and I felt sorry for him so I took him under my wing. I ended up travelling with him quite a bit and introducing him to people who would be able to help his career in the industry. Our relationship soured, however, so we went our separate ways.

End of story, right?

Not so much...

After I left the industry, I decided to set off in a more productive direction and trained as a forensic psychologist. I worked with victims of violent crime and murderers. This was perfectly normal; I was able to remain removed from what I was exposed to so never had any emotional issues.

Then last night, I was reading the news online whilst also doing a bit of shopping, watching tv, etc...

I noticed an article about a man who had stabbed his young wife to death. There was a photo of the couple on their wedding day and while it was just a side-on of the guy, I was sure I recognised him...

I quickly read the article and yes, it was the social outcast I had looked after all those years before.

The couple had apparently been having marital problems and had separated. There may have been another man involved and the husband had posted a long goodbye to everyone on Facebook just a short time before the incident (it sounds more like a suicide note than an implication of pre-meditated murder). He met her on the street not far from her workplace and stabbed her to death before - perhaps - inflicting a few wounds on himself in a half-arsed attempt at suicide.

I was shocked.

After-all, I had allowed this man into my life, into my home. He had listened to CDs with my nephew and played catch with my dogs. We'd shared hotel rooms when he had nowhere else to say and I had bought him food on more than a few occasions when he had blown all his cash on crap.

I lay awake most of the night, thinking about this whole thing.

Then the memories started coming back.

I don't know if I had blocked stuff out or if he was just not important enough to give brain-space to.

There were too many incidents to list but the highlights included him telling me he was arrested for threatening a guy in an alt-club with a knife down in Brighton, his picking a fight with a bunch of Hell's Angels in Herford, Germany, after one spilled his drink, him threatening me when I refused to lend him money (and I had to get mates to protect me from him), him stalking the children of one musician, him throwing his credit card in the face of a hotel receptionist, him pissing in a bottle of Jaegermeister before passing it around a group of supposed-friends, him showing me his incredibly small pierced penis... in the street...

He was a user, a liar, a thug. He was emotionally unstable and became obsessive whenever he could not get his own way.

I never foresaw this, of course.

But I'm not surprised.

I feel sorry for his wife. She tried to escape him and he killed her.

I'll be following the case as it develops.

He won't do well in prison...

29/12/12

Today would have been Cozy's 65th birthday.

Miss ya.

Everybody's Gym and Fitness Centre - Newport

A couple of months ago, I decided to join a gym. I've been a gym member on and off for over 11 years so this was not a massive decision on my part. I tore my ACL back in 2003 (and refused surgery) and it has been playing up a bit recently. I thought (whether correct or not) that some strengthening work at the gym would be a huge help. I researched a few places and opted for Everybody's Gym; they cost slightly more than others but I drive past it on the way home from work so felt it would be for the best...

Many years ago, I worked as a mystery shopper; I was paid to shop at stores (or, indeed, visit spas) and then review them. I always focused on customer service and heaped praise where it was due.

Everybody's Gym has excellent staff. They are friendly and helpful, willing to answer questions and have a laugh.

That's the only plus though.

Oh, that and the cardio room was empty so there was no wait for the treadmill.

So that's the positives out of the way.

The weights room was full of pumped up gentlemen, admiring themselves and each other as they lifted heavy things... Good for them. My issue, though, was the staring. Even walking into the weights room, everyone stopped and stared. Yes, I am female. That does not mean I cannot out-benchpress a lot of those blokes... I retreated to the cardio room and put my ipod on while I had a bit of a run and did some steps torture (bad knee, you see). The guys from the next room took it turns to walk over and stare at me... What. The. Fuck. Most women would have been intimidated but I just stared back. What a right bunch of tossers though.

So aside from the other patrons, the cardio equipment was all tatty and scuffed. One treadmill did not work. The bikes were filthy. The rowing machine seemed to be running off a multi-plug (that CANNOT be considered safe!). There were marks on the walls.

I could go on...

The real winner, though? The real "welcome-to-the-gym-thanks-for-the-350-quid"?

The contract.

Gym contracts are pretty standard. Not this one. They expected me to sign a waiver agreeing that if I was killed by their gross negligence, my family would have no recourse to sue.

Umm...

What?

I fully expect to sign to say that if I hurt myself then that's my problem but not if they hurt me...

That leaves  me with just one conclusion: there is no way that they can have any insurance. If they did, they would not expect their members to sign such a waiver. I even checked it against the contracts of a few mates who use other gyms (in Cardiff, Bristol, Manchester and London) and no one else had such a clause.

I got the fuck out of there as quick as I could and have not been back.

Instead of signing away my life, I have bought myself a treadmill and a set of weights (I already had a vibra-plate) and I will work on rehab-ing my knee at home.

Crazy!

Inspirational Women, Part 20 - Pussy Riot

I have been following the Pussy Riot case for a while now but have resisted commenting until after the trial.

Everyone should already know about this case (it even made it on the BBC lunchtime news) but for those that don't, Pussy Riot is an all-female musical political protest group in Russia. They came to world-wide prominence following a performance at the Cathedral of Christ the Saviour in Moscow this past February. They performed a song in which they called upon the Virgin Mary to drive out Putin and criticised the corruption in both Church and State in Russia. The performance was filmed for a music video.

They were swiftly removed from the church and three women - Maria Alyokhina (a mother), Nadezhda Tolokonnikova (a mother) and Ekaterina Samoutsevitch - were eventually arrested. They were given very little time to prepare a defence and there were various hunger strikes in protest of the treatment they were being subjected to.

There was international outcry, with celebrities, politicians and Amnesty International weighing in. They were described as political prisoners and there were calls for a less aggressive response from the government.

They were all then jailed for two years each.

There are now calls for international protests and this story will not be going away...

As Peaches said, 

All you creators, let's take it to the next level! Balaclavas on public statues, post #freepussyriot art on the streets, make performance art, write your representatives, inform, educate, change. If you were imprisoned for unjust reasons, wouldn't you want someone to come to fight for you!? WE ARE ALL PUSSY RIOT!

Don't get me wrong, I think that everyone needs to practice religious tolerance and respect and I personally would never do something that would cause offence to any religion but if that is the only way to get your message across...

These women spoke out against the behaviour of the government and the government (over)reacted swiftly and aggressively. There have been accusations of death threats and apartment raids, just like the old days, eh? 

Imagine if Dave Cameron did that. I'd be serving twenty life sentences by now...

You have to stand up for your convictions, no matter the risks involved. Maybe, just maybe, these women will bring about just a tiny little bit of reform in Russia. After-all, Moscow has just banned the Gay Pride march for the next 100 years. Sound like somewhere you would want to live?

I fucking love Russia. The language, the culture, the people... I've had a Russian boyfriend and I would still like to go there for my TEFL but come on now, they should know that governmental control on this scale achieves nothing but widespread distrust, fear, rebellion...

Speak out, free these women and help ease the oppression our sisters (and brothers) throughout the world suffer.

WE ARE ALL PUSSY RIOT!

Blessed are the merciful...

For the sake of Save Me...

...I do hope Brian May takes a stand against Lady Gaga's latest idiocy.

Don't get me wrong, I like quite a few of her songs and would have taken the kids to see her if I had been able to get tickets for Twickenham.

But for fuck's sake, woman, grow up!

Peta fights animal cruelty and spoke out against her wearing animal skins.

She responds by calling Peta "childish" and "abusive".

She clearly knows nothing about the abuse animals are subjected to for the pleasure of humans. Either that or she just does not care. 

She stated 

You see a carcass, I see a museum pièce de résistance.

I see a brainless idiot who displays no understanding of the strength of her words. She has all those follows of whom many are, quite frankly, too young or easily influenced to form their own opinions and stand up for them. Her comments show a whole chunk of society that killing animals for fashion is acceptable.

Brian May played on You And I and rumours in the business are that he will be guesting with her next month when she plays in London. Brian has spent the last few years publicly fighting for the protection of exploited animals and came under fire for wearing a jacket with animals depicted on it at the Olympics closing ceremony (which I bloody loved, I might add; I'd wear it down Tesco...). What sort of message will it send if he guests while she's wearing a fur frock or a venison thong?

So come on Brian, drop the ignorant one. Or show her the error of her ways. She would make the cause much stronger.

I'm gonna mail her a copy of Skinny Bitch...

Inspirational Women, Part 19 - Sophie Lancaster

November 26, 1986 - August 24, 2007

Sophie Lancaster was just a normal young woman. She was on a break from her education but getting ready to start an English degree. She had a boyfriend and family described her as caring and kind.

Five years ago today, Sophie and her boyfriend, Robert Maltby, were walking home through a park in Bacup, Lancashire when a gang of teens attacked Robert. He was beaten unconscious and a frightened Sophie held him in an attempt to protect him. The gang then turned on her. She was repeatedly kicked in the head and stamped on. 

The attackers went away, boasting about their achievement while other teens who had witnessed the attack called the emergency services and attempted to help the couple. Both of the young adults were left comatose.

Robert recovered gradually but was left with permanent brain damage.

Sophie did not.

After confirming she was brain dead, Sophie was taken off life support and died thirteen days after the attack.

Teenagers Brendan Harris and Ryan Herbert were convicted of Sophie's murder while three others - Joseph and Danny Hulme and Daniel Mallett - were imprisoned for the GBH inflicted upon Robert Maltby.

Brendan Harris' mother was criticised by the judge for not recognising the severity of what her son had done and was apparently laughing and joking with him while he was questioned. Great mother, huh?

So what prompted this unprovoked attack that left a young woman dead and a young man with his life in tatters?

They were Goths.

Apparently, the way they dressed was enough to justify taking a life.

Sophie's mother and friends established the S.O.P.H.I.E. fund to help combat discrimination, hate and abuse towards those that are part of the "alternative" scene. There have been numerous other tributes paid to her over the years.

We live in a society where people think they can treat anyone who does not conform like garbage and we need to do something to stop this.

Education.

Labelling "chavs", verbally abusing "emos", stigmatising young mothers...

It is all hatred, intolerance, discrimination.

If you can't love your fellow human beings, at least be intelligent enough to tolerate their life choices.

After all, your own kids could easily become one of these "other" you despise so much. What then?

RIP Sophie.

To thine own self be true.

Inspirational Women, Part 18 - Marilyn Monroe

June 1st, 1926 - 5th August 1962.

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the death of Marilyn Monroe. It is about time I added her to the list.

Born Norma Jeane Mortenson in Los Angeles to a mentally unstable mother, Monroe spent most of her childhood in foster homes, being subjected to sexual abuse and neglect. She married a local neighbour in order to escape her unacceptable home life, only to be bored rigid by her young husband.

Whilst he was away during WWII, Monroe took a job in a munitions factory where a photographer noticed her and encouraged her to apply for modelling jobs. These led on to acting jobs and the rest, as they say, is history...

She had a tumultuous personal life. After divorcing her first husband, she met Joe DiMaggio at Villa Nova, the restaurant owned by Vincent Minelli (now the Rainbow Bar and Grill) on Sunset and they endured a difficult nine month marriage before Monroe again filed for divorce. Despite citing mental cruelty as the reason for dissolution, she and DiMaggio remained close, with her calling upon him in times of trouble and he having roses sent to her crypt regularly following her death. Her final marriage - in preparation for which she converted to Judaism - was to playwright Arthur Miller but also ended in divorce. Monroe was also rumoured to have had affairs with John F and Bobby Kennedy, Marlon Brando and Tony Curtis.

Marilyn never had children but is believed to have had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy during her marriages and also claimed to have had a dozen abortions, the last of which just a few days before her death.

Monroe was a strong believer in civil rights, being labelled a forward thinker in these matters. She helped Ella Fitzgerald with her career and spoke of her hope for equality in the world.

She suffered from depression, though, and was always battling those demons.

Marilyn Monroe was found dead at her home in Brentwood on the morning of August 5th 1962. She was laying naked on bed, on top of her telephone. She had a high level of barbiturates in her system though did not display the typical symptoms of barbiturate poisoning. Her death was ruled a "probable suicide" but rumours have abounded ever since that she was the victim of a Kennedy murder and cover-up; indeed, it is believed Bobby Kennedy visited her in the hours leading up to her death. Missing documents and conflicting statements of witnesses have not helped.

We'll never truly know.

What we do know, though, is that Monroe was a brilliant actress who fully exploited the persona she created to make her a star. She has influenced countless people since and is constantly being discovered by a new generation of fans.

Goodbye, Norma Jeane...